Now I Am Haunted
by InfinityxInfinity777
Summary: Set after ep 3x10 when Emily's shot by Daniel for the same reason that corresponds with the show. However, in this story the love they had was real since she's simply Emily Thorne with no motive of revenge. Angered and hurt by the pain he caused, she vows to hurt him with her manipulative ways; creating more pain, guilt, and retaliation, can their love survive conflicted feelings?
1. Chapter 1- Now I Am Haunted

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
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**A/N**

**This story is set after episode 3x10 when Emily is hospitalized after being shot by Daniel. Basically, the way I wrote it is that, the Emily Thorne (protaganist) introduced to us in the show, is like the Emily Thorne in my story, minus all the revenge motivation and plans. In my story there is no revenge against the Grayson's for framing David Clarke because she is not Amanda Clarke, she's Emily Thorne. You know how in the show Daniel is clueless about the Revenge thing and simply sees Emily **Thorne as Emily Thorne, well that is how she is in my story .** . . It's confusing to explain but it's quite simple and i'm sure you'll understand when you read my story.  
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**The relationship between Emily Thorne and Daniel Grayson corresponds for the most part with what happens in the show, if you can imagine it without Emily's ulterior motive of revenge. So Emily Thorne came to the Hamptons, wholeheartedly fell in love with Daniel Grayson for pure reasons, they had their rough patch, worked through it, got engaged, broke it up, yearned for each other, finally got back together, planned to get married, had more problems in relationship (largely due to Sarah), got married (largely due to the fake pregnancy), then Daniel found out, shot her, in his drunken rage, and that's where my story starts.**

**Enjoy,**

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**Chapter 1:**** Now I Am Haunted**

"Wh-where, where am I?" Emily gasped as her eyes flew open and she looked around the white-paled room with startled brown eyes, her hand grasping onto the only other person in the room, a dark haired man, who would be quite handsome if it wasn't for the worn out, sullen look on his face.

Startled by her touch, he flinched slightly, before looking down at her, his brow furrowing in confusion at her disorientated state. "You're in the hospital" he responded slowly.

"Why?" she murmured confused and scared, finding the confinement of the hospital room and equipment suffocating. Trying to move around, she shifted uncomfortably on the bed to find that she had multiple tubes and equipment stuck to her and an intensifying pain coming from her stomach.

"What happened?" she asked, as a cold, silent tear slipped down helplessly from her eye.

"You don't know" he responded, his voice, slightly bitter and his face unreadable, "What do you remember?" he questioned tentatively immediately after.

She felt agitated and panic stricken, confused by the unknown; the blank space in her memory that she couldn't seem to fill, and it scared her. Her breathing got heavy and she sounded like she was going to cry, "Nothing, I don't remember anything".

Looking up at the dark haired man urgently, she murmured, her voice filled with such agony, "Please tell me... who am I?"

He looked down at her confused and conflicted, not knowing what to say or do; let alone how he felt. He hated her, that moment when he had shot her, he had hated her so much and in his blinding white fury he had done something unforgiveable, he had shot her. Watching her fall of the yacht, he was horrified and instinctively he had reached out trying to grab onto her, to pull her back on. Though what sickened him was his reasoning for that was not purely to save her but to save himself or his peace of mind.

He had thought she was dead, that the great Emily Thorne had died, but when he had gotten word that by some miracle she had survived and that the fisherman out late on the sea had found her and got her to the hospital in time, he didn't know what he had felt. He had never wanted her dead, but the thought of facing her after knowing how much pain she'd caused him from all her lies seemed unbearable. He was angry, so angry at her about the fake pregnancy but how could he show that after he'd shot her and nearly killed her? How could he be mad at her when what she did paled in comparison to what he did? How could he deal with the guilt of harming her? The women he had deeply loved and probably deep down still loved. How could he live with the anxiety of not knowing whether she was going to inform the police on him? It was all too much, especially the suffocating guilt.

"I'm sorry I have to go" he said slowly, pulling his arm away from her weakened grip before hurriedly walking out the door, willing himself not to look back at the paled faced, teary-eyed, injured and scared young women, he had inflicted so much pain on. "I'll send for a nurse".

"Is she awake" Victoria asked bitterly, looking towards Daniel as she sat on the uncomfortable waiting chair in her posh dress, feeling utterly annoyed at the circumstance Emily had put them in.

"She's breathing" he replied tiredly as he sat down next to his mother, "I think she may have some form of amnesia, she's seemed to have forgotten what happened and who she is".

Victoria laughed sharply, her laugh reflecting no happiness or warmth like an average person's would, "and you believe her?".

Daniel sighed, "I don't know" he mumbled, "She sounded believable".

"Oh Daniel, her whole relationship with you sounded and looked believable, even you were fooled for way too long by her innocent and loving appearance." Victoria said scornfully, "Emily Thorne is a manipulative and fake... young woman, leeching off of you and our money, there's nothing genuine about that girl, she sickens me, and she has from the first day I laid eyes on her."

"And that's why people believe you shot her". Daniel said tiredly, before standing up and walking away from his mother, he didn't want to hear it. When Emily looked so helpless in that hospital room, when Emily was badly wounded because of what he did to her, he didn't want to hear his mother berate her, even if she was what his mother believed her to be, which he couldn't entirely agree with.

And despite it all he didn't want to believe that all they had, had been fake. He had loved Emily deeply before and they had shared many good times, he didn't want to believe that she was faking it for status and money all that time, even if he had fallen out of love with her... which deep down he wasn't sure if he truly had.

**1 Week Later**

Another unfamiliar ceiling, Emily thought as she stared up at the ceiling of the room she now occupied. Looking around she found nice, warm decor, and soft colours in the room design. Who knew the Grayson's had a soft side, Emily thought cynically, as she spotted a picture of the family, giving away the environment she was now in. Her memories had returned thanks to Nolan, who had managed to sneak into her hospital room and speak enough truth to trigger her memories to come back.

She was thankful that it hadn't taken long to recover, however that first moment, when everything had rushed back to her, flashes of memories filling in the empty space, like stacks of books on a bookcase, that pain was intense it was like she had relived her whole life in a matter of seconds.

From her happy childhood with her mother and father in the Upper East Side, to the day she lost them, her everything, in the tragic car crash.

From the horrors she had in foster homes, to the injustice she felt when she was sent to juvenile detention for taking it upon herself to protect herself.

From the day she befriended Amanda Clarke there, to the day she was finally released and Nolan Ross found her and gave her her rightful shares to his company promising to look out for her as a way to give his thanks to her parents and the kindness he received from them.

From her party days of being young, stupid and emotionally troubled, to Nolan somehow managing to help her clean herself up and make something of herself.

From her involving herself in fancy university programs, to her beginning her philanthropic work

And most recently, from her moving to the Hamptons, to her falling in love with Daniel Grayson.

Her life was like a rollercoaster, she had started off high, with the love of her parents, but when they had died, that cart had dropped right from the peak to the bottom and it hadn't gone back up easily. Slowly, slowly with the help of Nolan Ross, it had managed to rise from the bottom, and despite the irony of using the word, falling; it was when she fell in love with Daniel that she reached her new top. She had thought that cart was stable on the top, on its peak. It had its wobbles but that was every relationship, none were perfect. She just would have never thought that the cart on its peak could plunge right to the bottom so quickly and as harshly as it had.

She never would have thought that the person, who got her to the peak, the person she loved, the person she trusted, could aim a gun at her chest and shoot twice, on their wedding day no less, watching as she plunged into the deep cold ocean. Metaphorically speaking, Daniel had cut off whatever it was that was holding her cart on its peak, and then let it fall from near the top, all the way to the bottom in a heart wrenching one-eighty drop, where the hard cold ground awaited, with no safety net to catch her.

And it killed.

Emily felt a tear slide down her cheek and she cursed herself for being weak, for sparing a single tear on him and the pain he had caused her, she hated him, she hated him, she hated him. If she said it enough, would it make it fully true?... Because deep down, she wasn't fully confident that every trace of love she had ever held for him had completely disappeared from her crumbling heart, though she wished it had, it would hurt less that way.

Lifting her hand up to wipe the tear from her face, she let out a sharp breath as she felt a stinging pain from her gunshot wound and she cursed not only due to the pain but because every time she felt such pain, she thought of Daniel Grayson, her twisted lover, her shooter and the one who not only caused her physical pain, but pain in her heart and her mind too.

She wanted him to pay; she needed him to hurt, like she had!

Placing her hand over her bandaged wound as proof of what he had done, she made a vow to herself that he would pay; not by prison, not by violence but through her own manipulative ways. Emily was going to haunt him figuratively and quite literally and she was going to drag him all the way down to the bottom where she was...if he wasn't there already.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, please comment/review, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping to write more chapters if the feedback I get is encouraging :)**


	2. Chapter 2- Can't Kill Me With Kisses

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

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**Chapter 2: ****Can't Kill Me With Kisses**

"You're awake" Victoria said in fake sincerity, as she breezed into the room, standing at the edge of Emily's bed.

"I don't understand, the doctor's discharged me?" Emily asked slowly, narrowing her eyes at the women she hated, the one who had tried and succeeded in creating such chaos in her and Daniels relationship.

"Yes right into my care and your nurses, we thought you'd be more comfortable at home" Victoria replied, faking a smile at Emily. "You're a Grayson now, and we circle the wagons when tragedy strikes."

It was like she was mocking her, she hated it, she absolutely abhorred that women, but she did what she had been doing since day one, played her at her own game. So instead of demanding to be let out, she simply produced a small smile directed Victoria's way.

"Doctor Sternan told me your memories are recovering" Victoria continued, no doubt saying the only thing she cared to know about from Emily.

"Yes," Emily replied softly, "Thanks to Charlotte, she visited me a lot in the hospital trying to help me recover my memories". Pausing, she stared right into Victoria's watchful eyes before slowly saying, "and promising me that the only reason my husband hadn't come in and comforted me, was because he felt guilty and upset that he hadn't been able to protect me that night."

Victoria squirmed and Emily wanted to secretly smile, she'd only said that to see that quick look of panic on Victoria's face, and oh was it satisfying.

"Charlotte was right, Daniel loved you and he's not taking it well." Victoria responded.

"Loved?" Emily murmured faintly, "I'm not dead yet."

"No of course not, Darling" Victoria quickly responded, irritated at herself for her slip up. Gingerly placing her hand on Emily's arm, she murmured, "You know what I meant".

Emily smiled gently, it was going to be amusing seeing Victoria fake such sincerity towards her, she could only imagine how maddening it must feel for her.

"The last thing I remember was the church, the wedding vows, at least I have that happy moment." She said softly, the tiniest smile spreading across her chapped lips as if to fool Victoria in her affection for Daniel.

The reality is she felt like screaming, on a day that was meant to be her dream come true, on a day that represented their undying love, their bond, he had tainted everything, ripped her everything away from her. Biting her lip, she tried to withhold the flash of remembrance infecting her mind but it was too late, she remembered it all and her mind wouldn't simply let it go.

She remembered as she had stood there alone in the dressing room, her beautiful white wedding gown, draped across her slim body. She had stared at herself in the mirror for ages, preparing herself, trying to calm her nerves and imagining what life as his wife would be like.

Truthfully things hadn't been easy that past month between those two, they had argued and fought, slept alone some nights, but they had tried to work through it or at least that's what she had thought, until she discovered Sarah. She hadn't confronted him about her though, maybe she should have but she had been scared, so scared that if she did, then ultimately more fighting would push him right into Sarah's arms.

So she had held it in... but holding something like that in, ignoring her hurt and angry feelings, feeling anxiety every time he came home late, and emptiness when he pulled away from her, led to panic. And in her panic she had done something terrible, she had faked her pregnancy as a way to reel him in. She had been desperate and convinced herself that it was the only way for Daniel to wake up and realize that she was the love of her life; she was his future, not Sarah.

On her wedding day as she had looked into that mirror, she had felt so guilty, that she had lied to him about something so important as a newborn life. She had vowed that after their honeymoon, she would tell him the truth and plead her case. Explain how his affair with Sarah had really hurt her, how she had felt like she was losing him and how she had just wanted her fair chance of a happy life with him.

Would he have shot her then too? She thought resentingly, maybe only once, she jeered with satire humour.

She could joke all she wanted but that day when she had seen him standing at the altar, looking as handsome as ever in his wedding suit and gazing at her tenderly as she walked down the aisle, such hope had filled her heart; they had a bond, they shared a love, and yes they had fought, yes he had strayed but he was her home and she was his or that's what she had naively thought at the time.

"_Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts._" That was one of Daniel's favourite poems by Oliver Wendell Holmes, he had read it to her when they had first fell in love and ever since, it had been such an endearing poem to the both of them. Now it just brought up feelings of pain.

Shaking her head slightly as if that would clear her pained mind, she bitterly thought, so much for what Daniel had vowed to her on the altar, _I love you Emily, for now and always._

"And as for the traumatic details of your shooting?" Victoria questioned, interrupting Emily from her thoughts of the wedding to a vastly more painful memory...the shooting.

I remember everything Emily wanted to tell her bitingly; from the rising fear and shock I felt as your son pointed a gun to my chest, to the pain and betrayal I felt as the bullets tore through my flesh, soaked my dress with blood, drained my cheeks of colour, and propelled my body over the railing. I remember how I fell, how many feet down from the yacht, falling and falling, my body cold and numb, my mind diseased and my heart torn out as the cold strong waves caught me and refused to put me out of my misery, drifting me instead to help, help that I didn't want.

I remember, she wanted to scream, to threaten relentlessly but she swallowed it all down, suppressing her screams. It wouldn't do, she had vowed to ruin him, to destroy him and screaming at his cruel mother though probably immensely satisfying wouldn't help her. If she wanted sweet revenge, she'd have to be calculatingly, sneaky and most importantly mentally strong.

Anyway right now she was a prisoner in the Grayson's house, alone and injured so she'd have to tread carefully until Nolan could contact her, Nolan, Amanda and Jack, the only real friends she had. After all, she knew a lot about the Grayson's and how they resorted to terrible things to protect those they loved and she definitely could not trust them to uphold the universal morals of the world, especially being that one of the Grayson's had already broken one of those rules when he had nearly killed her.

Breaking her gaze from Victoria, she looked around the room abstractly and tiredly said, "I'm trying to remember but..." she paused, her eyes focusing on the figure who'd just walked through the door, "Daniel", she murmured her heart stopping for a second as she looked towards the man she'd fallen for, the man who'd shot her, the man who she now held an infinite amount of conflicted feelings for.

Victoria's eyes widened in horror thinking that Emily had remembered but then she let out a relieved breath as she turned her head to see her son in the doorway.

"Daniel what happened to your eye" Emily asked upon seeing a purplish, blackish bruise around his left eye, that seemed to mildly satisfy her upon first glance.

"Nothing worth mentioning, not compared to your injuries" Daniel replied, as he walked towards her, a mixture of guilt, nervousness, anger and tiredness in his expression.

He had been to see Sarah at the Stowaway, his not so secret lover. There Emily's friend Jack had lashed out at him, rightfully so after what he'd done to Emily, not that he knew. Either way though, Daniel was a bastard in Jacks eyes. While his newlywed wife was recuperating in bed after nearly losing her life, he was trying to get back in with his mistress, that's how it looked at least...correction, that's how it was.

God he was disgusting, that enough was disgusting but factor in the part where he was the one who actually shot his newlywed wife , made him damn right vile.

He really had deserved that punch, a thousand times over too. He had even liked it, wishing he'd been pummeled relentlessly; it's what he deserved and anyway, he wanted to feel something other than the guilt taking the characteristic of a parasite and eating away at him.

"I'll leave you two alone" Victoria said, standing up and exiting the room, with a walk only the wealthy could perfect.

Emily looked towards Daniel, a small smile on her face, "It's nice to see you" she said softly. Looking at your guilty face makes me feel excited to hurt you more, she thought cruelly to herself.

Daniel smiled back painfully, "You should probably get some rest" he said as he walked up to her bed and reluctantly bent down kissing her on her forehead with impassionate lips, no doubt trying to fake affection and innocence. But he wasn't like his mother or her in that respect and he failed at faking it; she could read right through him, she always had.

She reached out for his arm, as he began to walk away, "Stay" she murmured, if it pained him to be near her, she wanted him to be with her for a lifetime, he deserved that pain and so much more for what he had done to her.

He stopped and looked at her but showed no signs of moving closer to her so she continued, her voice sounding quiet and sad, "I've just felt so lonely these past few days, hoping that the next time I woke up from my sleep you would be by my bedside, if only for a little while at least."

"I'm so sorry" he uttered guiltily, feeling that parasite eat away at him even more. This was the first time he had really looked at her; seen the pain in her big brown eyes, and the hurt in her voice... seen her stare at him as if he didn't nearly kill her. "It's just been so hard to see you hurt", what a shitty excuse he thought to himself with disdain, "But Charlotte's been with you."

Emily nodded her head as if understandingly. Daniel was always such a coward; he could never face what he'd done or what consequences he had to bear. At least he was hurting too though; she hoped that guilt engulfed his mind.

"More than you" she whispered her eyes beginning to water for effect. She had mastered fake tears by the age of ten, after the realization that they occasionally came in handy at the orphanage.

"I know we've been through a lot Daniel and I remember how it wasn't all easy before the wedding but ...you're my husband Daniel and I- I need you, now more than ever."

He moved closer to her, her heartfelt sentence working like a charm as he grabbed onto her cold hand as a supportive gesture. Not that his hands were much warmer, he had turned cold blooded in more ways than one after everything that had happened.

"I'm right here" he murmured trying to sound comforting as he sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. It's what he had to do, he tried convincing himself, to fool her, it's what his mother would want. But deep down he knew it's what he wanted, he didn't want to see her like this; crying, injured, alone, especially when he caused this.

Despite all Emily's past transgressions, the fake pregnancy being the most significant and worst of them all, it had in no way justified him shooting her. He had loved Emily, really loved her and when she looked so innocent, so helpless in that hospital gown, in bed, with a machine hooked up to her, how could he hate her? How could he be so cold?

So even if the guilt killed Daniel, he would try and comfort her...he owed it to her to at least try and be the husband she thought he was, instead of the real one who shot her... not once... but twice.

"I'm yours for the afternoon" he murmured as he gently, brushed her hair out of her eyes and wiped away her tears, "Tell me what you want Emily"

Emily squeezed his hand and smiled tenderly, this was the Daniel, she thought she was marrying, the caring one... but she was wrong about that, so now instead of enjoying this side of him, she would exploit it.

Looking into his conflicted brown eyes, she softly uttered two small words, "Kiss me".

Daniel looked back at her nervously, his eyes widening in surprise as he tried to conceal the guilt on his face.

If only he hated her, he thought he hated her, he wanted to hate her so that he would no longer have to feel such guilt, but the truth was that he didn't and seeing her like this, seemingly so genuine and so gentle he fell into her trap, only intensifying his shame.

He didn't want to kiss her, it would be too painful. Upon touch he'd remember the tenderness and warmth of her lips, the sweetness of her tongue, the eagerness of her mouth...the closeness of her body.

He cursed himself, how could he have strayed from that? From her? Emily had faked her pregnancy and that was wrong...so wrong but she had just wanted to hold onto him, when he was straying farther and farther away to Sarah. How could he have been unfaithful to her? How could he still desire the taste of Emily's lips and equally desire Sarah's? He disgusted himself.

Shut up he wanted to yell at that bitter cruel parasite in his head, the one calling him disgusting the one whispering, _this is on you, this is all on you_!

"Daniel" she murmured, subtly prompting him.

Looking down at her agonizingly, he cradled her face gently; subconsciously taking in the natural beauty of the women he had fallen for before lowering his troubled lips down to her own and kissing her softly on the mouth, whilst desperately trying to block the sweet memories that floated aimlessly throughout his head of a much better time than this.

Emily kissed him back slowly, willing herself not to remember how she liked these kisses, how she loved them. She was a ghost now and her job was to haunt not to feel, that's what she had to remind herself, to remember.

Pulling away her lips tugged up in a small, shy smile and she looked at him with her chocolaty brown eyes and murmured, "How did my lips taste?"

"Sweet..." he whispered, not able to look her directly in her eyes, "sweet and innocent"

Hiding her smirk from his satisfying answer she gazed at him intently, looking to have thoughtfully replied, "Yours tasted gentle, gentle and reserved...".

Daniel looked back at her tenderly and gently squeezed her hand.

"And almost a little sad... guilty" she added, her voice lingering ever so slightly as she said the last word, her gaze on Daniel who had not so subtly shifted his eyes to anywhere but her face and let go of her hand, not feeling able to keep holding on now that a stronger wave of distaste had washed over himself.

He looked terrible; remorse was written all over his face, like it rightfully should, she thought fittingly.

Clearing his throat, he slowly said, his voice quiet, making it almost easier to tell such shameful lies than if he sounded loud and confident, "Not guilt, not sadness...just reserved. I didn't want to kiss you so passionately, when you're so... hurt". Hurt because of me, he couldn't help reminding himself.

"Oh Daniel" she hummed, "You can't kill me with kisses"

His eyes twitched at the word kill and she continued, articulating each word slowly and smoothly, for dramatic effect and that extra punch she knew he'd feel, "You can kill me with a knife, a poison" she paused for a second and gestured to her wound, "...a gunshot" letting that sink in for a second longer as that was her main point, she finished by lightly saying, "But Daniel you couldn't kill me with kisses."

There was a long moment of silence before Daniel filled it by faintly uttering, "You're right", finding that was the only thing he could get out before it felt like his throat had constricted inside of him, immobilizing what he really wanted to say. That he could never kill her, be it by knife, poison, gun or kisses, that he would never try. That she shouldn't talk about such horrible things, that if anyone was going to kill somebody, then it would be his guilt, slowly and agonizingly killing him. It felt like it had already started to anyway.

_Because you deserve it, _that voice in his head uttered_, because you did nearly kill her, because you proved that you could kill her._

"Are you alright Daniel? You look rather pale" Emily said faking concern as she grabbed for his hand.

Pulling away from her touch, he stood up and quietly said, "I haven't been eating well that's all, don't worry about me, just get better and rest" maybe, then you'll remember and hate me, punish me and anger me, maybe then the guilt won't be as bad, he thought as he quickly walked out of the room before it could suffocate him further.

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**Thanks to all those who gave my story a chance, I hope the second chapter didn't disappoint and a special thanks to Only Hope-7, Forevermissingclaudiaz and guest who left a comment, it made me very happy and motivated me to get this one out quicker :)**


	3. Chapter 3- Door Marked Exit

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

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**Chapter 3: ****Door Marked Exit**

"Seems like you had a nice chat with Emily" Victoria said callously as she looked towards her son from her prized chair in the living room.

"Isn't that what you want?" Daniel replied irritably.

"What I want" she replied looking at him with narrowed eyes, and using that overbearing yet somehow ridiculously elegant voice of hers, "is for you not to forget what she did to you."

"What she did to me, what about what I did to her?" he said tensely, shaking his head in anger.

"You've fallen for it already, haven't you?" she said disdainfully.

"Fallen for what?" he asked tiredly, as he walked over to the liquor table.

"Her innocent act" she uttered,

Daniel didn't reply, he ignored his mother and poured himself, a generous amount of liquor, taking a long sip and wincing as the sharp, strong liquid, slid down his throat.

Is this what it came to now, alcohol in the morning? God, how did he get so low, what had Emily done to him, so that he had to jeopardize his liver and his mind, to stumble through the day?

"Daniel for goodness sake, how many times are you going to let that girl manipulate you?" she further pursued, "Emily's recovering not dying, and as far as I'm concerned she's a nuisance in our life, not something for you to pity out of guilt."

"You're telling me I shouldn't feel guilty for shooting my wife" he hissed, his voice low and sharp.

Victoria laughed bitterly, "Wife, god knows that women upstairs is not your wife, that marriage was not genuine, she trapped you into it, forced you by her lies by preying on your integrity, isn't that why you shot her?"

_Why you shot her? Why you shot her?_ That kept repeating in his head, why had he shot her that night? He had been terribly drunk, he had been angry that she had lied, he had been scared that he'd nearly lost Sarah which he wrongfully blamed on her, he had been hurt that she'd betrayed him and he had been maddened that she had fooled him so easily. He had been a lot of things that night, especially...

Shaking his head he avoided his mother's question which was no doubt rhetorical anyway, and sharply said, "What integrity? I was sleeping around with another woman behind her back, while she was planning our wedding."

"So now, Sarah's just another woman, God you're hearts just as fickle as your father's and easily swayed." Victoria replied bitingly, purposefully using his father as an analogy, who she knew he was currently in a feud with.

Daniel shook his head, "I Love Her!" he shouted furiously, his voice shaking with the whirlwind of emotions he felt.

"Which one, Emily, Sarah... Oh don't tell me it's Ashley now?" she said sneeringly, her lips curling up into a malicious little smirk.

Daniel glared at her and began to walk out the room clearly infuriated. Truth be told he didn't know who that was intended for, it had just instinctively slipped out of him.

"Just remember Daniel, for all the things Emily is not, one thing she is, is clever and she'll play you till your eating putty out of her hands, if you fall for her act. Her injury is not an excuse for what she did to you. She remembers everything except the shooting, which means she remembers what she did to you, has she showed you any remorse? Has she admitted to it or apologized? No! Yet she's asking for your affection... Just like she did with her fake pregnancy, this time she's using her injury to reel you into her, and God, dear son are you making it easy."

Whipping his head around, Daniel looked at his mother with dark angry eyes, and sharply said, "I know you have a heart of stone mother but don't sit there and assume she's the same type of person as you. I'm confused and I'm torn and...all I know is that I loved her and yet I hurt her more than she ever hurt me. So don't tell me what to think or don't tell me what to feel, because you simply do not have the capacity or the compassion to understand."

With that Daniel Grayson stormed out of the room, gulping down the rest of the liquor in his hand. Leaving the empty glass precariously on the edge of the cabinet, he cursed himself for not taking the whole bottle. Oh well he thought aloofly, he'd just buy a new bottle.

Climbing up the winding staircase, Daniel grabbed his jacket and wallet from his bedroom, then proceeded to go back downstairs when he felt the urge to peep in and check on Emily.

Slowly opening the door, he saw her fast asleep on the bed; she looked so peaceful, so innocent, like the princess Sleeping Beauty. If he kissed her would she wake up, or was he no longer her one true love, her Prince Charming?

Slowly moving closer to her, reluctance and reservation in his gestures, once he got to her bed, he bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her soft rosy coloured lips.

He knew it was only a fairy tale but he couldn't help feeling downhearted, when he didn't see her eyelids flutter open, revealing her deep brown, chestnut colored eyes that used to hold so much love for him.

Drawing up a chair towards her bed, he sat down in it, and reached out for her hand, holding onto it as he began to quietly murmur, "I'm so sorry Emily, that I hurt you like this and caused you so much pain. I never would have thought in a million years that we would end up like this. I still remember the first time that we met; you spilled your drink on me at the Memorial Day party. I remember turning around and seeing you this beautiful girl in front of me, and I had felt incredibly lucky that my $1500 suit had been sullied with alcohol. You had seemed so embarrassed though, and honestly I found it really endearing. I offered you a drink next, and you accepted, and we sat down in one of those chairs, just you and me and held light conversation for quite a long while. You were enchanting, your smile, your laugh, your personality, your composure. Just everything about you I found refreshing and captivating."

"I'm not sure if you remember but I vividly remember saying to you that day, _I've got to admit, it's nice meeting someone who didn't know the old me, _You had smiled understandingly and softly agreed. I had meant that at the time, but now I can't help feeling that the old me was a saint compared to who I am right now. Back then, before you, I had been stupid and reckless but at least I had a good heart, not anymore, now I've been infected with cruelness and the cold, now I'm hardly better than my parents. I'm so sorry Emily, when you remember it was me, you're going to be heartbroken and in even more pain then you are now. I wish I could take it all back, or transfer all your pain to me but I can't, I don't even believe I can ever make this up to you so... I hope you hate me Emily ".

Giving her hand a gentle squeeze before he let go and stood up, he quickly walked out of the room, not looking back as he shut the door softly behind him.

As the door closed shut, Emily's eyes flew open brimming with tears, and as the first one dropped silently down her cheeks, the rest followed suit till she was no longer quiet but sobbing softly on her pillow.

She had heard it all, she had woken up, after feeling his lips on hers, and she had waited, pretending to be a sleep to see what he would do next or whether he would say anything which he had.

She had heard every word, but it neither helped comfort her, nor strengthened her resolve, all those words did were inflict such torment in her heart and mind.

Daniel knew running away was cowardly and wrong, he knew that the least he could do for Emily was stay by her side until she remembered. But he just couldn't face her anymore, maybe his guilt should have strengthened his resolve to be the best man he could be for her, but all it did was weaken him and he didn't want to cope. What was the point anyway; in the end she'd just hate him, no matter how regretful he felt, she would hate him like she should.

And if Emily would never forgive him, he didn't see the point in trying to sort things out, it seemed hopeless and painfully exhausting. He should let go of the hope that somehow they could go back to how they were the summer they met, or last summer. Their love was gone, tainted so wasn't it just best to move on? Wasn't it?...because he desperately needed something to feel the void.

"Danny" Sarah said looking at him with earnest brown eyes as she walked into his arms "I am so sorry" .

This is what he wanted now, Sarah, she was his door marked exit, his escape and so he would take it, even if it meant sacrificing what little virtue he had left.

Yes it was wrong, but he loved Sarah, only weeks ago he was willing to break off his engagement to Emily to be with her, so surely he loved her didn't he?

_Daniel wanted to move on and forget Emily so that all the guilt and pain that came with it would subside, so he hoped that if he could whole heartedly devote his heart to Sarah that she could make him forget how he had loved Emily. And if not at the very least, he needed Sarah as a distraction._

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**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please comment/review, it would really make my day =D**


	4. Chapter 4- That He

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

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**Chapter 4: That He...  
**

"Emily" Charlotte said in her sing-songy voice as she waltzed into the room, her brown hair bouncing in soft waves against her back, "You're looking really well".

Emily smiled softly, she was fond of Charlotte, she was innocent and happy and kind, she was the good seed out of the many bad; and somehow she had managed to defy all the cruelness that infected the Grayson's.

Emily liked to think it was because she had some David Clarke in her, Amanda had told her all about the real David Clarke, not the one society was made to believe, the one who had been tragically tarnished with terrifying lies and blame.

"She smiles" Charlotte said happily, as she plopped down on the chair beside her, "I've missed that".

"I know" Emily murmured quietly, not really knowing what else to say.

"I see they've finally gotten you out of that hospital gown" she commented, "The sea blue looks nice on you, it brings out the chocolaty brown in your eyes."

"Thanks, I'm still wearing gowns of sorts because it's a lot easier for me to slip on by myself but at least it's a lot nicer now."

Charlotte nodded her head in agreement and Emily began to slowly say, "Everything's going to take a bit of time, but I am feeling a lot better, I can move around now, without feeling such intense pain and I don't seem to feel so tired anymore."

"You're healing" she replied smiling.

"Physically, yes" Emily replied honestly.

"What about your memories are you beginning to remember the attacker?"

Emily looked away from Charlotte's concerned face and shook her head slowly, "I..."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked, I'm sure if you knew, the culprit would be behind bars by now." Charlotte said quickly, grabbing onto Emily's hand as a comforting gesture, "It's so frustrating though, I feel such uneasiness every time I'm reminded of what happened to you. The police keep saying, it was somebody on the yacht but I can't wrap my head around someone there being so cruel... so twisted, as to raise a gun to your chest and shoot... it sickens me and I'm so sorry that had to happen to you."

Emily felt a lump begin to form in her throat and she squeezed Charlotte's hand, grateful for her kindness, "You're not the one who has to be apologizing Charlotte" Emily said slowly, "I just want to thank you, you've shown so much support, and it means a lot to me."

Charlotte smiled, "Well we're sisters now" she replied sweetly.

Sisters, Emily forced herself to smile though it was such a weak one, she would have loved that, but she wasn't naive enough to think that Charlotte and her could be 'sisters' now, he'd taken that away from her too.

"Has Daniel, been looking after?" she asked almost tentatively as if she was afraid of the answer, her eyes already portraying sadness as if she knew the answer... which she probably did.

Emily bit her bottom lip, what to say, what could she say? Charlotte wasn't stupid, she saw things and knew enough to know that something was wrong, "You know it wasn't all easy before the wedding, I made mistakes, he made mistakes and those things just don't go away, even with this injury."

"But you two were happy at the wedding right" she pursued a hopeful tone to her voice, "You had to be, or why else would you get married, right"

"Right" Emily answered to hull the desperation that was beginning to rise in Charlotte's voice, "Of course we were". But was that really true she had to ask herself?

The day of the wedding she had felt a range of emotions all in one; happiness, nervousness, excitement, guilt being only a few of them.

But what had Daniel been feeling...trapped? She didn't want to think that but was that the reality? When she had lied to him about her pregnancy it wasn't so much to trap him into marriage with her but to prompt him into believing, into remembering that they belonged together. If she didn't think he held love in his heart for her anymore than she wouldn't have lied, she would have just left him.

Had Daniel just been faking the smiles, the passion, the warmth and the love she had felt when he had kissed her on the altar? When he said his vows, slipped on her ring, or when they had their first dance, what did he feel for her, love or resentment or was it something muddled in the middle? Is that why he shot her because he was confused with how he felt?

She didn't know

_**Flashback**_

_It was beautiful but all she felt was a wave of disgust and a wave of guilt as she looked up at the wedding cake, it was her fault, all hers, she thought bitterly, silently cursing Sarah Munello in her head. But that was over now, she was the one marrying Daniel not her. She didn't expect things to be easy, not straight away but she hoped with that distraction gone, she and Daniel could work through everything that pulled them apart; they did love each other after all._

_Feeling his arm wrap around her waist, she smiled at his touch, "Are you ready", he whispered into her ear. She nodded her head, and they both turned their attention to the intricately made, five layered wedding cake._

_"It's a beautiful cake" Emily forced herself to say, despite the vileness she felt in her throat from complimenting the hypocritical 'home wrecker'._

_"You don't have to say that" Daniel uttered softly, his voice apologetic, as he turned to look at her._

_Emily paused, trying to gather the words she wanted to say to him, before tentatively saying, "I understand what it is to want closure" she looked away from him before forcing her eyes to look back up into his, "and I know you do things, you never thought you would do..."_

_Daniel interrupted her, placing his hands on either side of her face, he looked into her honest brown eyes, with his shamefully guilty ones. He knew he had hurt her and he knew it probably hurt her a lot more than she let on. "I swear, I'm going to be a better man to you, and an even better dad to our baby." He said resolutely, wanting to convince her, wanting to promise her what she deserved._

_She smiled softly, wholeheartedly wanting to believe his words as he drew his soft lips against her own, the warmth of them brushing against her lower lip. Seeking entry, she obliged and he slipped his eager tongue inside her mouth, kissing her softly and passionately as he cradled her face in his hands._

_Pulling away he kissed her on the cheek and she smiled beautifully, he'd always loved her smile and so not being able to help himself, he smiled widely too._

**_Flashback End_**

"I don't understand" Charlotte said tentatively, "Why hasn't he been by your side? Why hasn't he given you support?" she paused and then continued anger in her voice "I don't know what you guys went through but you nearly died, he nearly lost you forever and... your baby died, surely whatever happened can't be so unforgiving that he won't comfort you and help you through this, its..."

Not knowing how to finish her thought she moved to her next one, "You told me once that, tragedy has a way of bringing people together, but it doesn't seem to be working this time."

"I don't know what to say" Emily murmured a dreary honesty to her reply.

"Tell me that you two will get through it?"

Emily shook her head slowly, "I don't know if we will", she replied. She knew it wasn't what Charlotte wanted to hear but she also knew it was better than the truth she was thinking.

"I am going to talk to Daniel, and quite literally I am going to knock some sense into him if I have too, but Emily don't give up, my brother loves you more than anything in the world, so if you fight for him, if you let him know you love him, I'm sure you two can work it out!"

Emily forced a weak smile to protrude from her lips, why was Charlotte making this so hard? She didn't know anything; she didn't know that Daniel had cheated on her, she didn't know that she had faked her own pregnancy, she didn't know that Daniel had shot her and she sure as hell didn't know that ultimately they could never go back to how they once were.

Looking towards Emily clearly distraught, she stood up wrapping her arms around her, "I'm sorry Emily, I came in here wanting to cheer you up but I think all I've achieved is the opposite of that. I'll make it up to you, I promise"

Giving Charlotte a squeeze back, Emily quietly murmured, "You're too sweet".

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***Knock knock**

Looking toward the bedroom door aloofly, Emily returned her focus to the book in her hands. It didn't matter who it was, Charlotte was the only person in the house she cared about and at the moment, she was out shopping with her callously cruel mother, anyway if it was her, she'd just waltz in. As for Daniel, she literally hadn't laid eyes on him for days, so she doubted it was him.

Hearing the door handle twist opon, she narrowed her eyes angrily, so much for privacy.

"Em's it's me" she heard a familiar voice say as a head full of blond hair, popped itself out from behind the door.

"Nolan" she uttered surprised as she ushered his lanky figure in, "How did you get in here?"

Nolan smiled lopsidedly, and he moved towards her, engulfing her in a long comforting hug, "I've missed you" he whispered.

Feeling herself relax in his arms, she squeezed onto him tightly, trying to push back the huge lump in her throat she felt beginning to form. Nolan was her rock, her anchor... her family, but it was so hard seeing him, that sense of relief and familiarity, and comfort in his arms, made it so hard to hold on to all her emotions without breaking down.

"Nolan" she uttered weakly, "I'm really glad you're here".

Pulling away from her so that he could talk to her, he smiled and softly said, "Me too, it's all thanks to Charlotte, what would we do without our one good Grayson?" he murmured.

"She snuck me in" he explained, "Victoria pretty much has you on lock down, she has guards outside the house and even her security cams and alarms have been upgraded, so even for me, the God of technology, I would have had to spend longer messing around with them. Charlotte's been trying to get us in here with you since the time they first brought you here though. Amanda's been pestering her every day, we all have, we've been really worried, the only thing that kept us sane was Charlotte's reassurance that you were healing."

"She's been talking to the guards, trying to form their trust, their help, and so after getting on pretty good terms with the guards, and using a popular technique named bribery, she managed to convince them into letting one guest into the manor to see you. Amanda wasn't too happy about the choice, but it was decided democratically of course, that I should be the one to see you. All that was left for Charlotte to do, was lure the witch away from her nest, which she did in the most practical way possible, shopping, and 'voila' here I am." Pausing to look at her reaction, he added "Amanda and jack send their love and little Carl of course."

"Thank you" Emily murmured her voice beginning to wobble, she'd been feeling so alone the past few days and it's not that she doubted her friends but it was nice to hear that they'd been pulling for her.

Nolan grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, "Of course, you don't think we'd leave you up here by yourself?"

Emily shook her head,

"I'm just thankful Charlotte could pull though?" Nolan murmured.

Emily looked away from Nolan, feeling guilt begin to form in her stomach as she quietly murmured, "She's a saint, she doesn't deserve what she'll be put through."

Nolan looked at her questioningly and opened his mouth ready to ask what she meant by that before closing it back again, she'd tell him when she was ready.

Touching her tentatively on the arm, he looked into her eyes and earnestly said, "I'm going to get you out of here Em's, you can recuperate at my house, I'll get you an even better nurse, I'll take care of you."

Emily cast her eyes downward, not feeling able to look into his honest, caring, blue eyes without crying.

"Em's, remember when I first saw you in the hospital after you'd gotten shot , and I managed to sneak into the room in my red and white hospital suit, you had looked so pale it really scared me and with those tubes and equipment stuck to you, it had only heightened my fear. I can see that physically you're better now, you look much healthier than when I last saw you, but in a way you also look much more wounded, more exhausted, emotionally that is. I saw it as soon as I stepped in the room and I'm worried...your memory returning brought up something painful didn't it?"

He looked into her eyes, urging her to tell him what was wrong, wishing for her to unload her pain onto him.

"I..." she started off but then she bit her lip and shook her head slowly, murmuring, "It's been really hard", the only thing she could admit to.

Nolan looked at her distressingly, was that all she could admit to? Emily was a pretty closed off person but he had broken through her walls, years ago. She had let him in, and in turn for not hurting her she'd formed complete trust in him, so what was so hard that she couldn't tell him?

"Living here's doing nothing good for you, Victoria's a witch, Conrad's MIA with his new mistress, not that he's a particularly good guy anyway and Daniel, well Daniel's proved that he's nothing more than a rich bastard, he hasn't been by your side, has he? I never should have let you marry him after he cheated, god he's disgusting." Nolan said with disdain, his face crumpling in anger as he looked towards her for her reaction. "You deserve so much better, Emily. There was a time when I saw you with him and believed that he just might be your future. Even at the wedding, I felt a spark of hope that he could make amends to you and be a good husband, but I...all hope is gone, that man is a Grayson through and through, his actions clearly show that. Now I can assume that he found out about the fake pregnancy through the doctors at the hospital and even he has a right to be upset, but you're his wife, who got shot and while you're trapped here recuperating, he should be by your side, not off trying to get back into bed with Sarah."

Emily's pain filled eyes, widened in surprise, "Sarah?" she whispered. She had figured he'd been off drinking, getting wasted, maybe sleeping around with girls he cared nothing for, all the while trying to qualm the guilt inside of him, but Sarah, he was off reforming his relationship with her? While she was isolated in his house and wounded both physically and emotionally.

Emily closed her eyes wincing at the sharp pain she felt in her heart, as she blocked out Nolan's words,

_What was she in comparison to Sarah? Would she never have been enough? Did he just not love her as much as he thought he did... she thought he did?_

_No matter what happens between us, I'll always be honest with you. If you let me I'd love to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you made me .__I love you Emily, for now and always. I ended it with her because you're the only one I want. __I swear, I'm going to be a better man to you. I LOVE YOU_

Did it mean nothing? Did any of those words mean anything? Do they still?

When she opened her eyes, tears immediately began spilling from her eyes, rushing out as quickly as a conglomerate of high school students concentrated by the doors would after exams.

Nolan looked at her alarmed and he quickly drew her closer to him, wrapping his lanky arms around her sobbing body. Emily Thorne never cried, it was a rarity, so if she was crying now he knew it had to be bad... really really bad.

He didn't say anything though, he didn't know what to say, those generic seemingly comforting words like, _it's okay, I'm here now_, wouldn't work on Emily, he knew that, so he just held onto her and let her tears seep into his expensive shirt.

Her voice muffled by his shirt she began to whisper, a low tone to her voice, "I could have started over if I hadn't remembered; I wouldn't have to feel this pain, I wouldn't have known that I loved him, that I trusted him and that he broke that, that he broke me, that he cheated, that he... that he...''

"That he what?" Nolan asked anxiously.


	5. Chapter 5- I Have To Get Out Of Here

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

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**Chapter 5: I Have To Get Out Of Here  
**

"That he nearly killed me" Emily whispered, her voice so light that it was barely audible.

Nolan's eyes widened in horror and he pulled away from her so that he could look into her eyes, "Daniel Grayson, shot you?" he asked slowly, nervously...fearfully.

Not feeling able to look Nolan in the eyes, Emily slowly nodded her head, trying to hide the agony displayed on her face.

Nolan's heart instantaneously dropped, he couldn't imagine that, being shot by the person you loved , let alone on your wedding day. Such disgust filled his mind, Emily had trusted Daniel to love her and in turn he had trusted Daniel to take care of her. But he did the opposite, to an extreme that no one should go, and nothing made him more enraged than that, he thought he had hated Daniel before but now he out right resented him.

"I am so sorry, Em's" Nolan whispered distraught, as he reached for her hand comfortingly and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Emily slowly wiped away the stray tears from her eyes and a pained little smile spread across her lips as she murmured, "I'll get through it".

"I don't doubt that Em's, you're the strongest person I know" Nolan whispered matching that pained smile she'd sent him.

"I don't feel like that right now"

"You keep saying that Daniel broke you but you're still here, you're still in one piece and you're still Emily Thorne, he can't take that away from you."

"I'm not in one piece though, he's already taken my heart and devoured it." She murmured morbidly.

"I'm sorry", he whispered softly, feeling such torment inside. He hated this, he hated seeing her in so much pain and not being able to make her feel better, "I'll make sure you get it back, even if I have to shove my hand down his throat all the way down to his stomach, and pull out your heart which he cruelfully took from you, I'll make sure it comes back to you in one whole piece."

Emily finally looked up at Nolan, fighting back more tears as she looked into his determined blue eyes, "Thank you Nolan" she whispered.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he just held her like that for a while, before hesitating and then tentatively asking, "What happened that night?"

"It's simple really" she replied bitterly, her voice low and cold, to prevent herself from crying once more, "That night I went outside on the deck to catch some fresh air, I just wanted some time alone to let my thoughts run amuck in my head but that didn't last long because Victoria came out looking for a confrontation about my pregnancy. She didn't believe my pregnancy was real and with that my love for Daniel and so we argued, I said some harsh things, she said things back. I don't know if Daniel overheard that argument, but after it, you came up to check on me and I was a bit shaken up by it because even though I hadn't admitted to it, she had threatened to find a way to expose the fake pregnancy."

Nolan nodded his head remembering, "and that's when we talked about the fake pregnancy, and how horrible you felt about it."

"Exactly" Emily replied, "and Daniel definitely overheard that conversation. After you left to let me gather my thoughts alone, before re-entering the celebration, I heard Daniel's angry voice behind me. He was enraged and maddeningly intoxicated too, he was stumbling, his words came out slurred, his eyes were bloodshot and his whole face was red."

"His voice alone sent chills up my spine, but it wasn't until I turned around and saw that unrecognizable look in his eyes and that gun pointed at my chest that I froze in fear, realizing my imminent danger. After that everything happened so quickly, I uttered I'm sorry and he pulled the trigger and shot, and then again, watching as I fell into the ocean."

Nolan cursed angrily, "Where did he even get the gun from?"

"It was the Grayson's yacht, they had a couple onboard for 'safety' he must have taken it out of its draw, from where it sat, nearby to where everything happened."

"We're going to bury him in court" Nolan said determinedly, "He's not getting away with this."

Emily shook her head slowly as she murmured, "It's over Nolan, I just know that I have to get out of here, get out of the Hampton's."

"And what about Daniel, you're going to let him get away with this?" Nolan said, his voice raised in a mixture of anger and disbelief.

"When I first remembered what happened I vowed to make him pay, I vowed to make him hurt as much as he hurt me but I... I'm tired, I just want to get away from him, forget him, forget everything that happened and start fresh. I can't do that if I'm tethered to him, and I definitely won't be able to begin healing either"

"And what about your justice then? We can help you fight"

"It doesn't matter" she said dejectedly, "the Grayson's are terribly rich, they have an endless amount of connections and they don't mind getting their hands dirty. Even though he did shoot me, there's no way we would beat them in court... or if by any chance we did it would take years."

Nolan sighed, she had a point... but still, "You still have to do something, slip it to the press, the news will blow up, Daniel will be under suspicion by the public, Voulez ratings will go down because of that and also because they won't be publishing the juicy news on Daniel that everybody wants to hear."

Getting more animated as he spoke about Daniel's demise, he carried on, "It's perfect, and if you don't want to take it to court, then just say that your memory hasn't returned yet...Then if you leave him a week later, everyone will really think it was him, which obviously won't bode well for him, and you'll be able to start over somewhere nice and new and away from him, it's perfect."

"Nolan, I told you, I'm done" she said sharply

"I can't understand that, not after what he did to you, I can't believe you would just run away" he replied, his voice raised in frustration as he raked his fingers roughly through his blond hair.

Emily glared at him, shaking away from his touch, "It's because you've never been in love" she shouted angrily, "You're all fine with one night stands and everything, but you don't know love, or what it feels like or how it burns when you lose it. You couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through!"

There was a long pause as her angry words lingered in the air and his mind, and she looked away not wanting to see the hurt expression on his face, as she realized the harshness of what she'd said to him.

"Do you know why I've never looked for love, Emily?" Nolan asked, his voice no longer raised but low and serious, "because you were always my first priority, I've always been too busy looking out for you, making sure you were headed in the right direction, making sure you were happy, making sure you had a safety net to fall back on when need be. Making sure you were alright."

Emily's expression softened ever so slightly, but she still refused to accept that, "I never asked you to do that and you long since repaid whatever you felt you owed my parents for their kindness."

Nolan shook his head, and then reached towards her face, lifting up her chin, so that she was forced to look into his eyes, "I do it because I care, not out of debt, I loved your parents, and I love their daughter, you're my family Em's, you're like a sister to me, a sometimes annoyingly stubborn one , but a sister nonetheless...that's why I can't stand for it when the man who was suppose to love you as much as I do, betrayed you so harshly."

"I know" she whispered softly, feeling touched, "I'm sorry"

"You don't have to apologize, dummy" Nolan said tenderly, as he reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you for always being there for me" Emily murmured, "...but even still, I have to get away".

Nolan nodded his head resignedly; he hadn't expected her to change her mind, "As long as you believe that's best for you."

Emily nodded her head, "I do"

"Alright then" he murmured slowly, maybe this really was the best thing for Emily, as much as he hated Daniel he didn't want her to get so caught up in revenge that she began to lose herself.

"How are you going to get out of here with the guards that Victoria's ordered not only to keep people like me in but to keep you from coming out?" he asked.

"I'm just going to let Daniel... and Victoria know that I remember everything, that I won't retaliate and that I'm leaving." She replied simply.

"I don't trust the Grayson's" Nolan said with disdain, "and so I'll be waiting right outside of Grayson manor, if you're not out by 12 pm, then I'm going to assume that they're keeping you in against your will and I'll call the police and tell them everything."

Emily slowly nodded her head in consent, "I'll let them know that too"

Nolan looked at her worriedly as he said, "Are you sure you'll be okay, confronting Daniel?"

"I'm not really looking for a big confrontation; I'm just looking to leave."

"Let him know, you hate him at least" Nolan uttered.

"Of course" Emily replied with an almost wicked glint in her eyes.

Standing up to leave, Nolan looked at Emily and said, "I'm afraid I have to go, Charlotte just texted me, saying that her and Victoria are leaving the city and on their way home."

Emily nodded her head, watching as Nolan reached inside his pocket, and threw something onto her lap, "In case plans change" he said, as he watched her pick up the cell phone he'd gotten for her.

Nodding her head once again, as she hid the phone underneath her mattress, she looked up at Nolan with the tiniest of smiles on her face as she murmured "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, Nolan"

Nolan smiled back warmly, feeling accomplished for getting a smile out of her, "Yep, I'll see you tomorrow Em's and then we'll go down to the stowaway to meet with Amanda and Jack, we haven't done that for a while, so it'll be nice, us two blonds kicking it up with the Porter's".

Feeling a lump begin to form in her throat, Emily pushed it down and nodded her head, not wanting to get so emotional over the simple idea of that, no matter how lovely it sounded.

Just before Nolan got to the door, he turned around looked at Emily and then hesitated before honestly saying, "You're wrong Emily, it's not all about one night stands for me anymore, I'm in a relationship now, a good one."

Emily's eyes widened in surprise but then she smiled for Nolan as she said, "I'm happy for you" and despite her current heartache, she truly meant it.

"Thank you" Nolan said earnestly, as he walked out the door one lanky limb at a time.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments are always welcome ;)**

**There were lots of Nemily feels in this chap, I just love those too they have such a lovely relationship (but don't worry, they won't be shipped romantically in this fic)**

**Next Chapter, there will be an Emily and Daniel confrontation of sorts, so that should be interesting.**

**Have a Happy Thanksgiving**


	6. Chapter 6- Too Wrong To Bring To Light

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

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****Chapter 6: Too Wrong To Bring To Light  
****

"What is this, no one summoned the press" Victoria said, in her haughty voice raised in annoyance as she looked at the reporters and video cameramen suddenly inside her house.

"Actually I did" Emily replied looking down on all of them from the balcony, where she stood. Her eyes zeroing in on Daniel, she smirked at him, enjoying the uneasiness she could sense emitting off of him.

"Thank you all for coming", she started, "due to my weakened condition, my announcement will be a brief one. In the past few days that my in-laws brought me home, I have endured more pain than I thought humanly possible, and I believe because of this journey my memory..."

She paused, hesitating as she looked looking down at Daniel and Victoria Grayson. She could end it all right now, tell the truth, get away...start over, just like Nolan wanted or she could drag it on, stay tethered to the Grayson's and fight the battle she had originally vowed...before she had grown weak, before she had lost her resolve.

What did she want? What did she really want? Emily shook her head, she couldn't start over, not now, not after what Victoria had scornfully told her last night, not after what Daniel had caused her to lose, how could she start over, fall in love, have a family if...?

"Sorry" she said slowly, her voice wobbling and her eyes, beginning to water, as she looked down at the press, admiring how easy it was to fool them "This is just so hard".

Skimming over the reporters eager faces, she saw Victoria lean into Daniel, whispering something into his ear. They seemed to be disagreeing but then she saw Daniel slowly begin to walk up those stairs towards her.

"I've been recuperating" she said slowly, "healing and with each and every day, I've been hoping to remember what happened to me that night, I've been hoping for those memories to return...There's been much speculation over who shot me and I'd like to set the record straight" she added her voice sounding stronger, more powerful.

The room was silent; it was as if they were all holding their breath, waiting for the bomb to drop. She couldn't help enjoying the power she felt, Victoria looked alarmed, her whole face had gone white and she was holding onto the banister as if to stable herself, and Daniel, he'd reached the top of the staircase by now, and when she had turned to look at him, the panic, the guilt, and the fear on his face was truly beautiful.

Looking back towards the audience down below after her dramatic pause, she shook her head ever so slightly and slowly said, her voice sounding anguished, "But I can't, my memory hasn't yet returned."

Daniel looked towards her, letting out a breath of relief as he slowly walked up to her, wrapping his arm around her waist, like the supporting husband the Hampton's thought he was, Victoria smiled secretly, from down below, no longer needing the support of the banister and the press no longer silent roared with life once again whilst emitting such disappointment over the exciting news they never got.

She flinched ever so slightly at his touch, it had been a while since she'd felt it, and now that she did, a million angry thoughts flooded in her head. He had no right, not after what he'd done to her and definitely not after his general lack of care for her. She had been shot twice by him, she would have thought he'd at least care enough to make sure she was healing properly or that through his guilt he'd stay by her side... but he hadn't. It's not that she wanted his care...no she hated him...but it just hurt so much more knowing that even after his sinful blunder, he still didn't care enough to even try making it up to her. Maybe he really had wanted her dead when he pulled out that gun; either way he has been acting like she simply ceased to exist.

"My wife and I" Daniel said, looking towards the press and trying look as innocent as possible, "held this announcement today wanting to thank the people who've had Emily's recovery in their mind, as well as the Hampton's police force, who have been doing everything in their power to piece together the mystery and give justice to my wife."

Looking down at his mother, he saw her nod her head, urging him to continue, and it sickened him. He was the shooter, the perpetrator, the "_baddie_" but here he was standing up in the balcony telling lies to the press, with his arm gingerly around Emily as if he had a right to touch her, as if he was her actual support, when all he was, was the epitome of her pain.

But knowing this he still continued, he was a Grayson, the son of his cold-blooded, ruthless and immoral parents. Lie and deny that was their family mantra wasn't it? So that's what he had to do in order to save himself from public scrutiny, from punishment, from prison. What was he kidding all he was doing was straying farther and farther away from the path of redemption. But he was a Grayson that wasn't his fault, his parent's had always shielded him from punishment, "_we'll take care of it"_ they'd say and one way or another they always did. So he had never had to worry, he had never had to face the consequences of his actions. It wasn't his fault that now he no longer knew how...was it?

Shaking his head to clear those thoughts from his mind, he held Emily a little closer, as if protectively, cleared his throat and then said in a hard, cold sounding voice, "As for the perpetrator, who harmed Emily Grayson and killed our unborn baby, only the worst is coming for you and you can rest assured, that you will be caught and rightfully punished!"

The press roared with excitement, loving the display of the powerful, protective husband that Daniel projected well, "That will be all" he said firmly as he walked himself and Emily off the made up stage, and away from the press.

* * *

Walking her back to her bedroom, his hand gingerly on her back, he helped her sit down on the chair beside her bed, unsure of whether she even needed the help, or how much pain she was still in. "Does it..." he almost started to ask but then he stopped, did it matter? Would it make him feel less guilty if she said most of the pain had subsided?

She was so quiet, she wasn't saying a word, she was barely looking at him, was she upset that he hadn't been to see her, that he'd abandoned her and left her to recuperate alone? Or was she angry?

He looked at her and then looked towards the door, he could still here the press buzzing outside the door in the living room, was that his mother's voice, why wasn't she clearing them out? He was stuck with Emily until the press and the cameras were gone. The cameras had seen them walk into one of the bedrooms, if he walked out alone only seconds after, god knows the press would spin that into some juicy story, like how the shooting and loss of the baby had drifted them apart causing their relationship to be on rocky terms.

He didn't need that, so he sighed and sat down awkwardly on the corner of her bed.

"I'm sorry you're trapped here with me" Emily said slowly, her voice no longer containing the warmth and airiness, it once had.

Daniel shook his head, "I..."

But she cut him off, and simply said, "It's obvious you want to leave but the press is keeping you in here with me."

"Why are you apologizing?" he said slowly, distressingly, his face crumpling up in frustration.

She simply looked at him, her brown eyes concealing all the feelings that should be showing.

"God damn it Emily" he shouted in frustration, "Why aren't you angry, why you aren't yelling at me, why aren't you screaming that I'm a terrible incompetent husband, why aren't you saying you hate me?"

She didn't even flinch at the harsh sound of his loud voice, she simply opened her mouth and said, "The press is still outside, you should keep it down, you wouldn't want them to overhear."

She could see the tired look of guilt and anger mixed on his face as he shifted his gaze away from her. You want an answer, she thought bitterly to herself... Well it's because that would be too easy, because I want to drag this on for you, I want you to struggle between your guilt and what little goodness you have left inside of you, because I want you to hurt like I do, that's my answer!

"Why are you still here, haven't I done enough to hurt you?" he asked quietly, his voice just above a whisper this time, as he forced himself to look back at her with such guilty eyes.

"You're my husband; we're committed to each other now" she replied honestly, meaning every word, they were committed, not through love but through a chain bound by the pain, anger and guilt circling the two of them.

He looked at her with such a distraught look on his face; this wasn't fair to her at all. Shooting her and then binding her too him, so that he could what, diffuse the potential bomb she might throw at him, after painfully remembering that her own husband was the one who shot her on the night of their wedding. He'd put her through enough pain, she shouldn't have to stay inside this big, cold house alone, waiting for the husband she thought he was to show her some affection or support. She should be trying to move on, to forget she'd ever loved a sinner like him and so he'd have to push her away, give her a stronger reason to want to leave than his deliberate neglect of her. And if after she leaves him, she remembers, he should take whatever punishment she deems fit, after all God knows he deserves it.

"Emily" he says slowly, softly, as if the tone of his voice will somehow soften the blow of what he's about to say when he knows full well that it won't, "You should leave me, I can't be a good husband to you, not after..."

"I'm still in love with Sarah" he finishes, his voice sounding steady, resolute. Those words give him no satisfaction, but he says it anyway, a serious look in his eyes as he forces himself to look at Emily's face, surely that will be enough to push her into leaving, to make her hate him.

He watches as her dark brown eyes widen in surprise, but then he casts his eyes away from her, he doesn't want to see the rest of her reaction, her hurt.

He waits, waits for her to say something, anything but then he hears a sound coming from her lips, is that a whimper? Is Emily Thorne going to break down in front of him? The thought scares him, she never cries, or if she does never in front of him, there was only one time she did. The memory flows back to him only adding more guilt to the crushing feeling he feels inside of him.

It was weeks before their wedding, and he'd gotten into a fight with Emily at his launching party for Voulez. She had arrived late and on top of other things, it had caused him to question her commitment to him and being so upset he had called off the wedding date they'd had planned. That night, he'd gone back to her house to grab a couple of clothes to take to the hotel he was going to stay at. That's when she had stepped into the room with a picture of her past in her hands. She had sat him down and opened up a part of herself to him that he had never really seen before. She had showed him her vulnerable side, trusting him to know the pain of her past and she had cried, he could tell at first that she was trying to hold in the tears, but then it become too much and she let them flow freely, as she talked about the family she lost as a little girl and the pain she felt because of it. She had looked so broken, and he remembered feeling such an intense emotion of wanting to take away all the pain, all that pain she'd hidden from him for far too long.

He still remembers some of what she said now, the words a haunting reminder, to all he's probably worsened.

"_It's hard for me to share memories of my past Daniel, and it's even harder for me to trust. You know people think that because I lost my family young, I never knew what real love was, but I did and it was ripped away from, and I still feel that pain like it was yesterday, so I push people away" she had paused looking at him with such a look of earnest through her eyes brimmed with tears as she sincerely added, " I want nothing more than to stand beside you on our wedding day"._

And so he had pulled her in his arms, hugging her tenderly and wiping away the tears from her eyes whilst reassuring her of his love for her and the support he'd show her. He had forgiven her and that night instead of going to the hotel room as planned; he had slept beside her, kissing her tenderly on the lips as goodnight and pulling her closer to him, his arms around his waist, her head against his chest. He had whispered, _"I love you"_ as he entangled his fingers through her soft blond curls loving the feel of it between his fingers. He had laid there awake for hours long after she'd fallen asleep, content with feeling her smooth skin against his body, hearing her soft breaths of inhalation as her chest rose and fell against his own and smelling that wonderful scent that always seemed to linger on her skin. And as the luminescent moon had shone through her window, he had vowed to never stop loving her and to gradually take away the pain she still felt, replacing it with his love for her.

Knowing what he had regrettably done to her, he now knew that not only had he failed her miserably since that night, but also added to the pain he had vowed to take away. There was only one thing that hadn't changed but it was too ruined and twisted and wrong to bring to light anymore.

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**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I literally came home tired from so much work and school and neglected like everything I probably needed to get done, convincing myself that I needed a break and therefore should work on this fic. Not regretting anything, I really enjoyed writing this chapter, hopefully as much as you all enjoy reading it. Comments are appreciated =D**

**And Btw if you're wondering about what happened to what Emily and Nolan talked about in the previous chapter (in regards to her leaving), then that will be explained in the next couple of chapters.**


	7. Chapter 7- Before The Calm

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Before The Calm**

I'm still in love with Sarah" he finishes, his voice sounding steady, resolute, as he stands up hoping to be able to escape from her as quickly as possible once her initial reaction is over. Those words give him no satisfaction, but he says it anyway, a serious look in his eyes as he forces himself to look at Emily's face. Surely that will be enough to push her into leaving, to make her hate him.

He watches as her dark brown eyes widen in surprise, but then he casts his eyes away from her, he doesn't want to see the rest of her reaction, her hurt.

He waits, waits for her to say something, anything... and then he hears a sound coming from her lips, is that a whimper? Is Emily Thorne going to break down in front of him? The thought scares him, she never cries, or if she does never in front of him, there was only one time she did. The memory flows back to him only adding more guilt to the crushing feeling he feels inside of him.

There it was again, that sound; stronger, louder, and harsher. Looking up at her in surprise, his brows furrow in confusion when he realizes that it is not a whimper, she is not crying, she is laughing, if he can even call it that. It doesn't sound like Emily's laugh; light, happy, and contagious, that's how he remembers it. When she used to laugh her whole face would light up, her eyes would twinkle, and as he stared at her, his mouth curling up into a smile, which evidently turned into laughter too, afterwards he'd always want to lean into her and kiss her passionately on those lips of hers... often he did.

No, this was not her laugh... it couldn't be, it sounded so cold and hollow, devoid of everything that made her laugh so endearing.

Looking back up at her, his eyes filled with a dooming forlornness, he wanted to whisper sorry, and the moment her eyes had connected with his and subsequently her empty sounding laughter had ended, that urge had only intensified... but he didn't. What would sorry do?

Trying to discern the emotions she had to be feeling through her eyes, Daniel stared into them as if captivated by them, in a way he was. Captivated by the way she managed to conceal it all from him, she was quite skilled at that, she'd always been so hard to read, even without trying to be... or maybe she had tried, maybe that was why they had been drifting apart before the wedding... because he could never figure out how she truly felt.

* * *

Daniel was lying and she knew it, Sarah, he couldn't love her, Emily refused to believe that, especially that he loved that brunette more than he loved herself. Whatever, they were now or whatever he felt now, Daniel Grayson had loved her before and deeply, that was a fact...it had to be, she had wholeheartedly felt it from him and she had wholeheartedly loved him back. Anyway you couldn't just go through the relationship they had by faking it, it would just crumble...though thinking about it even with love it had crumbled in the end.

Crumbled, disintegrated and left to the ruin, that was their relationship, though the funny thing was, those feelings from the relationship hadn't just vanished along with it...not completely. She wished they had, it would make it all the easier, especially after the way it all blew up, but no matter how much she willed oblivion to snatch them up and erase them, they still lingered; as fragments, as memories and as holes in her fickle heart.

This had to apply to him too, all those fragments and memories lingering in his mind and his heart. In which case, especially after what he had done to her, he couldn't possibly love Sarah, he wouldn't have the room, not with the array of complicated emotions he must be holding for herself.

It was funny, Daniel was just using Sarah as an escape, from herself. With a satire sense of humour, it was really quite funny, in a melancholy way of course.

* * *

"Em's say something" he pleads, the laughter not being the reaction he expects or needs. He needs her to be angry or upset. God at this point he not only needs it, he wants it and desperately.

Because of the twisted, turbulent situation he'd plundered into with her, he needs Emily's anger to relieve him. He knows how screwed up that sounds, and he hates it, he despises it, it shows just how intricately, Emily and himself had managed to completely, for lack of a better word, fuck up their relationship.

It's on the back of his mind always, but he can't think about it right now, he can't dwell on it, he can only think about her anger, her rage and how it will be his saving grace, his impetus for escape from the maze they foolishly locked themselves into.

After the storm comes the calm, isn't that what they say? If the storm's her anger, then maybe the calm is a fresh start, for the both of them.

Maybe after the storm, that parasite inside of him might recede, he doesn't expect it to simply disappear, no that would be too easy, too benevolent on his soul. But he just wants it to recede a little bit, so that he can learn to cope with his guilt and regret for shooting his love. It would probably be easier too since Emily in her amnesiac innocence wouldn't be around him to inadvertently feed more of his flesh to the parasite inside of him.

Where would Emily be after the storm he wonders, would she remember? Could she move on? He had hurt her monstrously, that was an unequivocal fact, a nasty truth. Could she ever trust again? Trust enough to find love, to find someone good, ten times better than the man he became, fifty actually. Would that guy love her unconditionally, break down her walls to take away all her pain, make her smile, make her laugh like how she used to? Would he tell her he loved her, hold her close to him in his arms and kiss her tenderly on the lips?

Daniel's only torturing himself thinking about all this but he continues anyway, his self-condemnation driving his own abuse. Would that new love bear her children, children she had always wanted, children she had talked about one night with himself?

He still remembers that night, it had been late midnight and he had lovingly coerced her into staying the night with him, she had obliged, and that night as they lay snuggled against each other underneath the thick warm duvet, they had whispered, talking about things they never really had before; one being children, and he remembered that as he listened to her talk about children and her desire for them...for a family, all in correlation to their future, he had never felt closer to her.

He had ruined that completely though at least for them, but maybe just maybe he didn't ruin that whole dream for her. Though his heart ached thinking about it, maybe after the storm, she could find a new man, a good man, and lay down some roots of her own, maybe she could be happy, god knows it would be a while before he could. A start to healing, that's what he needs to be happy again, and the pain surrounding the both of them to slowly begin to subside. This he knows will take a while, a long while, especially with the deep but self-destructive love they tragically held, but it would be a start, one he doesn't have right now.

But before all that he has to brace the storm, he has to take her pain-induced anger, so that the calm can slowly settle into their lives, and so he watches, feeling chills as her dark eyes penetrate his own, her face having tightened in anger, "Sarah" she spits out as if the name alone is venom, "You've never loved her as much as you do me, not then and not now". She says it slowly, her voice low and callous, trying to cover the pain her voice might betray.

Neither denying nor affirming her claim, he deliberately casts his eyes away, feeling off balanced. The feeling she's emulating off of herself disturbs him, he can't put his finger on it, but he feels as if the anger she is displaying doesn't add up to Sarah, he's almost certain of, there's something more...

"Pure cowardice at its finest, that's all this is, all you are " she adds, her voice dripping with animosity.

He flinches at that word despite himself; he's always hated it and the countless times he's thought it applied to him. She knows that, she's hitting it right where it hurts most.

And so she continues, standing up in her anger as she carries on, her voice like a sharp knife jabbing into his skin at every angry statement, exposed through her low, cold tone."You're a coward who can't lie in the pit you made for yourself, a coward who hides behind his filthy parents, a coward who can't look me in the eyes and tell me the truth..." Her voice inadvertently raises at that last phrase in her anger and disgust, while his face grows inadvertently taut, the colour beginning to drain from his cheeks, especially when he looks into her eyes and sees the pain, they finally reveal.

Did she know? Had she remembered he had shot her... but when? She had just announced to the press that her memory hadn't come back, could she have remembered between that short time of then to now or had she been holding it in all along?... but for how long? And why?

A million questions flooded his mind and with it his panic and guilt, she wasn't suppose to know, he wasn't ready for the confrontation, what could he say to her, what could anyone say to make it right?

He couldn't help believe his naiveté..., he thought she'd never remember, he thought he could get her to leave before it ever came out, he thought he wouldn't have to face the consequence of his actions but here it was staring him right in the face with such a look of animosity. How naive indeed, she knew and knowing Emily Thorne, she'd probably known all along.

Lowering back the tone of her voice, trying not to let her emotions, overwhelm her, Emily reeled in some of her blatant anger, trying not to let it leak out so early in the game, not yet, that would only reveal her pain and in turn her vulnerability. She was stronger than that, she had to be in order to get her revenge as vowed.

Originally she had wanted to drag Daniel along a little longer, it had been immensely satisfying watching his guilt swallow him up as she played innocent... but it didn't feel like enough anymore, not after he had mentioned Sarah. His lie, his denial, his trying to get rid of her, through the mention of his mistress, had struck a nerve with her a bad one, and now she wanted blood.

But she was much too calculatingly, too manipulating, to simply release her unquenched anger, no, she had more control than that, she'd been brewing over what he did to her for weeks, hiding it; holding in the rage, disgust and pain that filled her heart every time she looked at him or even thought of him. In return, channeling it into resentment, a much more constructive weapon; cutting, cold and cruel.

"You're disgusting" Emily continued, her onslaught clearly not over as she spitefully said, "hiding behind Sarah, thinking that you can start new, thinking that if you put your love into it, then you can forget about me, isn't that right Daniel? Isn't that why you went back to her because she's your escape, your door marked exit? It's not because you love her but because you loved me too much and now don't know how to deal with your guilt and your pain? You're just running away...cowardice at its finest"

A malicious and cutting analysis that even Daniel can't deny for its accuracy in all her scrutiny is correct.

"I-I" he faltered, not knowing what to say, what could he say? He was disgusting, "I'm sorry" he uttered, his voice low, like he already knew the weakness of his words despite his pure honesty.

"Sorry" she repeats bitterly, her voice cold and sharp and the expression on her face no warmer nor softer, "You of all people should know that sorry means nothing Daniel... I mean why would it? It clearly meant nothing to you the night you shot me."

Daniel's face completely whitens, as the words he's been fearing, are brought to life, while the satisfaction Emily feels from saying it aloud, is unrivaled to anything she's felt for weeks. '_The night you shot me, _he'd been hiding that fact, ignoring what he did to her, so it did feel nice to let out, nice indeed, in a sad, bitter, desolate kind of way.

Staring him down, her eyes locked onto his with such a raw sense of intensity, she almost felt like smiling, a sly little smile, one that would make the insides of his stomach twist up in fear and regret. But she didn't, she wasn't done yet, she still had more to say, more to get off her chest, "We were standing there on the deck together and I uttered sorry and I-I meant it with every bone in my body" Her voice raises at this part, her voice emphasizing the words, 'every bone in my body' and he wonders whether purposely or inadvertently. He guesses the latter, for some reason, she seems to be trying to cloak the passion behind her emotions, as if she was only a bystander to his cruelty and not the victim, as if she was only vaguely affected. He can sense the rage, the anger, the mistrust, the disdain... the pain but she doesn't want to let it show, not an uncontrollable sense of anger and definitely not her pain.

However, it's not completely working, she is only human after all, she can't cleanly separate her anger from her pain or her actions from her emotions, and so she struggles. Especially with what she says last, she realizes this herself, as her voice fluctuates with the emotions even she can't hide, and so she gives up, letting the pain and anger come out in all its rawness "but you still shot me Daniel, you shot me twice, watched as I fell into the ocean and then you left me to die alone, in the cold, vast ocean on the night of our wedding!"

There it was fully out in the open, like an exposed wound, painful, scary and bloody hard to stomach.

He felt a lump begin to form in his throat and he swallowed, not that it helped, his throat still felt constricted probably from the guilt, piling up inside of him. It felt dry too, scorched; he needed a drink, something with some spice, something to help drown his dread, his guilt, his cowardice as she put it, he wouldn't mind the sting, in fact he'd love it, that burning sensation, sliding down his throat, and settling into his stomach, it could be his payment, his little underground deal, for that dangerous liquid to haze his mind into a state where things were different, obscure.

But it was dangerous the stronger part of his mind, reminded him, it corroded his judgement, it contributed to him, hurting Emily Thorne...even though they were married he couldn't even say wife, from hurting his wife, it felt wrong after what he'd done, to bestow her of the loving title wife and himself husband. How could he when he'd lifted a gun towards her chest and shot?

Those words rung in his head again haunting him, "_but you still shot me Daniel, you shot me twice, watched as I fell into the ocean and then left me to die alone, in the cold, vast ocean on the night of our wedding."_

Needless to say, all hope of the calm, coming after the storm, dissipated, as those words flew out her mouth, confirming his fear. Even if this storm passed, the wreckage it would leave behind would dispel all chances of calm.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, there's the second half of this to come next chapter.**

**It's been a while, but I'm glad I finally managed to get this chapter out, comments are appreciated =D**


	8. Chapter 8- You're Hurting Yourself

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

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**Chapter 8: You're Hurting Yourself**

Emily was waiting, he could tell by the calculating look in her eye, that she was waiting for him to say something, but what...he didn't know. Nothing could justify what he did and nothing he could possibly say would make her feel better, but even so he futilely tried, "I..." he began to murmur, but that was all he could come up with, he was stuck, at the first word, a simple one-letter word.

That was enough for her though, Daniel realized, as she began to attack him further. She didn't care for what he had to say, she just wanted to scrutinize it and attack him with his own wording.

"I was drunk... I was angry, I felt betrayed, is that what you were going to say?" Her voice trembled with anger.

She could feel her control slowly subsiding and her pain showing through in all her rage, but it felt good to relinquish her mind to her emotions, and so despite the danger it posed to her plan, she continued, "as if that justifies how you harmed me. Do you know what it feels like to have your lover, hold a gun to your chest, it's frightening, alarming, but it is nothing compared to the anguish and betrayal one feels upon the realization that they actually shot. You shot me Daniel, and then watched as those bullets tore through my flesh, soaked my wedding dress with warm vibrant red blood, and then propelled my weakened body over the railing. You left me there in the cold, dark ocean alone, no doubt waiting for the waves to swallow me up and engulf me in their fold. Out of sight, out of mind, is that what you were hoping for when you didn't call for help. How did you feel, when you found out I was alive? That instead of putting me out of my misery, the cold strong waves drifted me to help, help I didn't want when I was on the brink of death, with a diseased mind, a ravaged heart, and a hole in my chest. I guess neither of us got what we wanted that night, did we Daniel?"

Daniels face looked completely drawn of colour as if a ghost had graced his present, haunting him mercilessly, and his whole body was taught and stiff. He felt paralyzed, stuck, but willing his voice to speak from his heart, he adamantly replied, "I never wanted you dead". His voice sounded low and quiet in contrast to hers, but nowhere near weak.

Looking at the pain in her eyes, he felt sick, overwhelmingly so, he hadn't wanted to hear that, what it felt like, what he did. But now that he had, he felt as if his body was burdened by the weight of stones in his pockets, sinking him down to the floor and waiting for him to crash. A lot of stones indeed; guilt, disgust, and disgrace only being three of them.

"I never wanted you dead Emily" he repeated, "I loved you wholeheartedly, and I never did stop, I just got lost, entangled in our problems…I know nothing justifies what I did to you" he continued on with irrevocable honesty and pain in his own voice, "I know that, and you know that. We both hurt each other, but I destroyed us, what I did far surpassed anything you ever did to me, and I don't say that with pride I say that with great regret and guilt, it's on me!"

Looking towards her with such a look of anguish, he continued, his voice elevating in volume, "I fucked up Emily, so much so that I can't even ask you for your forgiveness and so I am not going to, it wouldn't be fair to you and I don't deserve it." He paused for a second, collecting his thoughts before he quietly began to say, an almost desperate tone to his voice, "Emily just tell me what you want from me. If you want to send me to prison, then call the police I'll hand you the phone right now. If you want me to pay through public shame then notify the press, I won't refute your claim. Or if you want to leave, escape this wretched house and get as far away from me as possible, then leave, I'll make sure my mother doesn't try get in your way. Just tell me what you want from me, Emily. I will stand as a man, and take whatever punishment you deem fit, destroy me if you want, I deserve it….. just enough with these games, it's all out in the open now."

Emily looked back at him defiantly, refusing to give in to his words, to let them resonate within her. What did it matter what he said, what he felt, what he told her? Was it suppose to make her feel better? Because it didn't, she didn't feel anything while hearing them, except more pain.

Staring back at him, her dark brown eyes, penetrating his own, she opened her mouth and steadily replied, her voice sounding cold and resolute, "I want to stay".

Daniels eyes widened in disbelief and he shook his head in confusion, "I don't understand he muttered, "You don't love me and even if you did, you know our love has been tarnished."

"No, I don't love you Daniel" she replied sharply, glaring at him, with such a look of disgust for even mentioning the word love, "Not at all" she added for good measure, her eyes boring into his, daring him to think otherwise.

He didn't, he couldn't, but even so, hearing her confirm it out loud, those words slipping off her tongue so easily, as if they never really mattered at all, sends a sharp pain through his heart. "Then why stay? Why not punish me?" He asked angrily his voice raising in frustration.

Emily smirked, her lips curling up, "Can't you see this is my punishment to you, Daniel" she said maliciously, "You can't move on if I stay… or forget"

"So you want to toy with me, my emotions, my future, like some game" he replied slowly, trying to control the anger surging up inside of him. He had apologized, he had spoken from his heart and though he knew that didn't equate to Emily's anger simply disintegrating, he thought she'd at least take something out of it, maybe see his regret and realize how much pain he was also in from what he did to her, and see that he was sorry, really sorry, and that he was willing to handle the consequences of his actions. He had meant that, every word but what Emily wanted; staying, how the hell would that help her? And how could he become the man he should have been for her, if she stayed tethered to his side as a sore reminder of his mistake and an instigator to more of his pain?

"You'd only be punishing yourself too" he tried to rationalize for her, since clearly in her anger she couldn't for herself, "The love is gone, the happiness is gone, and all there is left between us is pain, anger and guilt. Why stay when you can start over, start fresh?"

Her eyes flickered up in anger, and the look she sent him spread chills down his spine, "Start over" she said sharply "start fresh...I couldn't possibly, not after what you did to me and caused me to lose."

"So you're going to let my mistake dictate your life? That doesn't sound like you, not at all, wake up Emily", he shouted in anger, this time letting some of it out, maybe then she'd see, "I'm the one who has to live with my mistake not you".

"I Hate You!" her voice trembled, as she screamed those words at him, tears brimming her eyes in the process, though they never spilt, she blinked them away in her rage, refusing to let them spill, "You think you're the only one who has to live with your mistake" she was shaking now, he could see her body trembling in her fervent fury, "I have the wound Daniel, I have the memory clearer than yours ever will be in the intoxicated state you were in, I have the maddening pain, and above all else because of you I know have no chance of giving birth to a child, you've rendered me infertile! You've taken away my future, so don't talk to me about fresh starts, don't you dare. What start can I have? Why even try fall in love again? Why bother when the one thing I had always wanted to get out of love, was a family, was children, was the chance of giving birth, of linking whatever I had left of my deceased parents, to my own children."

"I am so sorry" he murmured horrified, "I never knew I..." he mumbled something incoherent in his shock, in his horror, he'd done that to her too, he'd taken away her unborn children, rendered her infertile, taken away the one treasured thing she'd always wanted most. There it was again, that guilt, ten times stronger, and fifty times more intense. "I". He didn't know what to say, so he just watched and listened to see what she would say next.

"You did this to me" she uttered sharply, her voice elevated in blatant anger, as she began to slowly lift up the bottom of her shirt, just above her belly button, to expose her bandaged wound.

Placing her fingers on the edge of the bandage around her wound, Emily looked at Daniel with such ferocity in her eyes, gritted her teeth and then tore off the bandage in one quick motion.

Drawing in a jagged breath, as she dropped the blood stained bandage on the floor, her eyes fixed on his as if daring him to turn away, daring his cowardice to show at that precise moments. "I thought you'd want to see your handiwork" she said piercingly.

Daniel winced, but he didn't look away, feeling paralyzed by the dark look in her eyes. So he forced his gaze downwards to the bare wound she exposed, the one he created. Distaste and disgust forming in his mouth, as he saw where the bullets penetrated her skin and where the doctors stitched against her paled skin, trying to force it together so that it could heal again.

He'd seen enough, there was only so much he could stomach and so he cast his eyes away, daring to look back up at her face with all her anger displayed so articulately on it.

"This is no handiwork" he said solemnly, regretfully, "this is the result of my cruel action against you, and I am sorry, so very sorry" he added with a desperation to his voice, like he was begging her to see it; to notice just how sorry he really was, and just how sick he felt.

Slowly walking towards her, stopping just closer than a metre away from her, he bent down and picked up the bandage, she'd purposefully dropped on the floor. "You should cover that wound, this bandage was there for a reason." He said worriedly, holding up the bandage as emphasis, "Where's your nurse?"

"You have no right to act worried" she replied bitterly, the glare never leaving her face but her fervent anger having boiled down.

He cursed under his breath, "You're bleeding Emily" he said clearly frustrated, "you must have accidently pulled out some stitches when you pulled off the bandage so roughly from your wound".

Her eyes flickered down from his face to her wound, where she watched in surprise as blood began to slowly trickle down her stomach. First it pooled by the tear in her skin, where the stitches seemed to have broken, then it spilled out, looking even more vibrant against her weak paled skin as it glided slowly and effortlessly down.

Maybe she should have felt worried, even the least bit worried, maybe she should have told him that her nurse had the day off, or maybe she should have tried seeking help on her own, but it just didn't feel that pressing. She was bleeding, but it wasn't gushing, and it really didn't hurt that much, maybe she was used to the pain by now or maybe because of all the worked up anger she'd been exercising, physical pain took a back seat. Either way, as she looked down at the blood, she realized she really didn't care right now; she wasn't going to die from a little bit of blood loss, and if she was then what kind of cruel sense of irony was that? Making her survive from two gun shots and the vast ocean she plundered into, only to die weeks after from something like this.

She was more occupied on Daniel, and how standing here like this, her wound exposed and bleeding, must leave him with a terrible, sick feeling in his stomach. He deserved it, a little piece of payback, she thought coldly, as he futilely tried to dial her nurses number from his cell phone.

Sliding his phone back in his pocket, he picked up a folded white towel, from the neatly stacked pile, in her cupboard and walked towards her clearly quite agitated by this point. She was being unreasonably bullheaded and she knew it, even at the expense of her own medical recuperation, she just stood there totally unwilling to even give a thought to her bleeding wound.

It pissed him off, to her was exploiting his guilt, pain and anger valued above her own well-being? The thought angered him and terrified him, both for his sanity and her own, how the hell was he suppose to get through to her if that was the case?

Cursing in anger, as he got close to her, he firmly wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, so that with his other hand he could cover her wound with the towel applying pressure, that the bandage no longer could.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he said firmly, "You need to get patched up".

She scowled at him, struggling to get out of his grip, but he was stronger than her, much stronger due to her weakened state and so eventually she gave up.

"You're hurting me" she hissed instead, expecting him to loosen his grip on her with those words, but instead he tightened it even more, causing her to draw in a jagged breath, as he whispered, "You're hurting yourself".

* * *

**Well this was the part two I promised, I hope you enjoyed it.**


	9. Chapter 9- Ruminating

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Ruminating  
**

"I'm taking you to the hospital," Daniel said firmly, "You need to get patched up".

Emily scowled at him, struggling to get out of his grip, but he was stronger than her, much stronger due to her weakened state and so eventually she gave up.

"You're hurting me" she hissed instead, expecting him to loosen his grip on her with those words, but instead he tightened it even more, causing her to draw in a jagged breath, as he whispered, "You're hurting yourself".

Daniel didn't know whether those words had somehow managed to subdue her in one way or another, or whether her rage had already begun to start boiling down at that point in time. However, after those words had settled into the air, Emily had passively let him lead her down the stairs and into his fancy black car.

They were so close, Daniel thought to himself, as he tried to ignore the feelings and memories those sensations evoked.

Once they had gotten into the car, in order for him to keep the pressure on Emily's bleeding wound, he had needed her body close to his and therefore had had to wrap his free arm around her body to pull her in to him.

He was so close, that he could feel her heartbeat pounding against her chest, feel her soft breaths of exhalation against his skin and smell her usual scent; Japanese Cherry Blossoms, though mixed in with the scent of her blood, the usually sweet smelling perfume, was almost sickening.

At that point in time Emily's eyes had remained firmly shut, either as a way to try combat the pain she might have been feeling by then or as a way to try shut out the feeling of his body being so close to hers. Daniel's eyes had remained wide open though and as he held her, applying pressure to her wound, he had stole an agonizing gaze towards her, holding such conflicting feelings towards the beautiful being in his arms.

Twenty minutes, it had taken them all but twenty minutes, to re-stitch Emily's blood wound and bandage her up again. He had watched in the hospital room, as the doctors so efficiently patched up his wife, though it gave him no relief, only panic. He didn't want to take her home so soon, he didn't want to fight more, or talk more, he just wanted time to take a breath alone, to think, to let everything sink in, to ruminate.

And so he had done something quite naughty, which he really shouldn't have done. He had pulled the doctors aside, and told them that his wife hadn't been sleeping well at all, that she'd been up all night, in anxiety from the shooting and that he was really worried about her. He had played on their sympathy, and because of the power he held from his Grayson name, he had managed to convince them into administering a sleeping drug to Emily Thorne without her knowledge and consent.

He had then played up the fabrication of her insomnia, informing the doctors that he wanted her to stay overnight, to ensure that this insomnia of hers had not been affecting her physiological needs, and then lastly he had feigned an important business call, distancing himself from Emily and the doctors, and informing them that he'd be back to pick her up in the morning.

Daniel had left her there, under an induced sleep in the hospital bed alone, having made sure to kiss Emily tentatively on the cheek as a show of his love for her, that the doctors would see, before leaving .

Daniel hadn't wanted to go back home, where his vile mother was though and so he had his chauffer drop him off at the beach and decided to take a stroll along it, like he had seen Emily do so many times before. She had always looked so peaceful when she did... so content as she looked towards the waves. He never did know what she found so intriguing about them, but he had no doubt that the water always seemed to call to her, maybe that's why it had saved her all those weeks ago, drifting her to safety instead of engulfing her.

The waves didn't seem to call to him though, not the same way it did to her, maybe he just didn't know the magic of them, sure it was beautiful and vast, and it could look so lovely on a sunny day as the waves glistened while flowing in soft powerful motions but... that was all. Maybe if his mother had let him spend more time on the beach as a child, than he could have discovered the magic of the ocean, but like many things, she had failed him in so many ways.

As Daniel walked along the beach feeling lonely and melancholy in his mood from self reflecting on both himself and the messed up relationship that was him and Emily Thorne, he had found himself wound up in a lovely secluded place far out on the beach, just at the moment when he had been ruminating about the all the things Emily had previously said to him only hours before.

Far out indeed he thought to himself, as he noticed that the lovely soft sand had been replaced with large gray rocks.

And then it hit him, the familiarity of this place crashing into him at full throttle, along with the lovely yet now painful memory it drew up.

Their first date.

**Flashback **

Emily was wearing a simple, white sundress, which suited her perfectly and the innocent look she portrayed, with a light pink shawl draped around her shoulders, and her hair put up into a small little bun. Daniel was wearing a simple blue shirt, with a light gray blazer over top, and a white pair of trousers. The perfect look for any wealthy young man in the Hampton's and he wore it well.

"I hope my mother wasn't too hard on you the other day?" Daniel asked softly, as he walked along the rocky beach shore with Emily Thorne, wanting to apologize on behalf of his mother, knowing full well what she was truly like underneath the graces the Grayson wealth bestowed on her.

"I don't scare too easily" Emily replied, "though does she interrogate all your dates?"

"Yeah" he replied with irrevocable honesty, despite the disapproval he felt from her actions, "My Mum's not really a hands off kind of person...at least you got rid of her lie detector though...kidding you'll never get rid of that thing" he added jokingly making light of the conversation.

She smiled, enthralled by his charm as he led her to the little picnic area he had set up for her, "you're not planning on becoming a comedian, are you?" she joked.

"Maybe in my next life", he replied lightly, as they both sat down facing each other, on the large log beside the picnic, he'd set up for her.

Daniel had really wanted to impress her that first date and so he had decided to one up his romantic location by taking advantage of the beach she was probably still exploring in her recent move to the Hamptons.

He was glad he did, it was a beautiful location that seemed to draw its beauty from the simplicity of nature and setting up the little picnic lunch in the area, was a gesture he thought she'd appreciate.

"My future is pretty well mapped out this time around, one more year at Harvard Business and then it's straight to the boardroom. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad already has an office picked out for me."

He didn't know why he was telling her this but when he looked at her, he felt comfortable around her, like he could tell her anything, like she would listen, like no one truly ever had to him.

"Hmm that sounds..."

"I know how it sounds" he interrupted softly, gazing into her eyes.

Shaking his head ever so slightly, he then changed the topic onto a lighter one or so he thought, "What about your parents?"

She paused slightly and looked away before bringing her gaze back to his and softly said, "Mum, caring, smart and Dad special...lovely people".

"So I shouldn't expect an interrogation" he replied with a slight smile.

"They passed away when I was a child, car crash" she replied honestly, no doubt trying to mask the full extent of sorrow she felt from that fact. Her voice was soft and controlled, as if she had mastered how to let those words slip out, without trouble, or without breaking down. She probably had, who knows how many times she'd had to vocalize her parents deaths before.

"I'm so sorry" he said gently his voice and expression genuinely expressing that, "any brothers and sisters?"

She shook her head ever so slightly, "just me" she replied.

"Well you and that lovely beach house" he reminded her with a smile on his handsome face, having wanted to stray away from the sad feelings his question had brought up.

She smiled and he was so glad, she had a beautiful smile, "maybe you could set down some roots of your own now" he murmured softly.

"Yes maybe" she replied as she looked into his soft brown eyes.

Hesitating slightly she then asked, "Want to come by for the tour later on?"

He smiled brightly at this invitation, which was the first of many, "I'm ready when you are" he replied to which she smiled at.

**FLASHBACK END**

* * *

Yes they'd had a lovely date that day, Daniel thought to himself, with a sharp pain in his heart. It really had been lovely; she had enthralled him that day and he had charmed her or so he liked to think.

They had hit it off on a good start, and he had instantly found himself drawn to Emily, there was something special about her that he liked, something refreshing, that led him into wanting to know more and more about her.

He remembered that after their date, he had led her back to her beach house, and unbeknownst to her, a surprise, Welcome To The Hamptons Party, which he had planned with her friend Ashley, was secretly underway at that very moment,

**Flashback**

"So how does it feel to know that you'll be spending the night in your new home" Daniel asked lightly as they walked up to the porch steps of her house.

"It's kind of hard to describe actually" Emily replied softly, slowing stopping right by her door so that she could face Daniel who instinctively did the same, "I had a really great time tonight" she admitted as she gazed into his kind, warm brown eyes.

"Me too" he murmured gently, gazing softly into her own.

Emily smiled, and Daniel desperately wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked.

But instead he grabbed her hands in his and slowly increased his proximity towards her, wanting to show her how he felt by capturing her delicately on those soft looking, rosy colored lips of her.

**Flashback End**

At that precise moment, he had never gotten the chance to kiss her, Nolan, Jack and his dog had ended up on Emily's porch, interrupting them and ruining the surprise for her surprise party. He had kind of gotten the sense, that she wasn't big on surprises anyway so that didn't seem to matter much, but the kiss did. He had had to wait all night, until the last of the guests had finally left her house until he could ardently resume where they'd left off and kiss her. It was worth it though; she was worth the wait and a whole lot more.

What they had, had been golden, how did they manage to turn that gold into lead? Daniel asked himself regretfully, as he aimlessly began to throw rocks into the ocean, the small amount of happiness he had felt whilst reminiscing having completely vanished at that point in time. He wasn't living in the past and he no longer could, he was living in the present and the reality of that was bleak.

And so he just began to throw those rocks, as far as he could, and as hard as he could, one rock, after another, he threw and threw, watching as they landed with a splash into the ocean, and observing the ripples it made.

Did it help? Not really but exerting all his energy in a trivial task, putting all his energy into it, all his anger and pain, into the intensity of his throws, meant that he could at least direct it somewhere.

His arms began to ache, and he knew that they'd be terrible in the morning from the build up of lactic acid inside his body, but still he continued to throw, even as he felt the sharp rock he'd picked up prick the tender skin of his hand.

After a long while Daniel suddenly stopped though, dropping the stone that was in his hand.

What was the point? What would throwing rocks do? What would it solve between them? ... nothing, absolutely nothing, it was hopeless, any sense of amendment was hopeless.

It was during this point in time, that Daniel Grayson felt a tear drop began to fall from his eye, and then another and another and another.

"_Boys don't cry Daniel"_, that's what his father had always told him, _"Especially a Grayson boy. We Grayson men, are strong...powerful and tears are a sign of weakness, of vulnerability, do you understand son?"_

He understood, he understood perfectly, even now he was weak for her, vulnerable when it came to Emily, even now, after everything that had happened, he still loved her after all.

What a somber realization he thought to himself bitterly.

* * *

Emily slowly opened her eyes, her consciousness momentarily jumbled, until it all came back to her in a rush. Slowly sitting up in the bed, she cursed under her breath, a scowl coming onto her face, as she took in the white, sterile hospital room, Daniel had left her in. Slipping off the cover, she looked down at her stomach and lifted up the hospital gown, to find, a new clean bandage over her wound.

That annoyed her even more, reminding her of Daniels forceful persistence that she come to this god forsaken place and get it patched up. Yanking down her hospital gown, before she ripped off the bandage again in her madness, she quickly tried to move herself out of the bed, biting down on her lip, as she tried to suppress the scream she felt rising in her throat, from the pain, that sudden movement had caused.

Stopping momentarily, Emily felt tears begin to surface in her frustration but she forced them away, as this time, she slowly eased herself off the bed, wincing as she felt the coldness of the floor against her bare feet.

She wanted out of there, of the hospital, she'd spent enough time in it during the past month, but just as she reached the door, a friendly looking nurse let herself in. "Mrs. Grayson, I see you're awake?"

Emily narrowed her eyes at the nurse, "I never even knew I fell asleep, I wasn't that tired."

"Your husband was worried, he said you'd been having trouble sleeping and so he asked if we could help you out".

"You drugged me?" Emily asked bitterly, cursing Daniel further in her head.

The nurses eyes flickered away from Emily, as she quickly assured her, "It was for your own benefit, and nothing more than an over the counter drug."

Emily sighed before plastering a kind smile on her exhausted face, she could tell she was intimidating the nurse and to take out her anger on such a naive being seemed misdirected. "Of course".

The nurse let out a relieved breath and smiled kindly at Emily, "Do you feel better, Mrs. Grayson?"

Emily nodded her head, "Yes thank you... and you can just call me Emily"

The young nurse beamed brightly, her eyes twinkling with happiness, and as Emily stared back at her, she felt momentarily alarmed, that that added few words could cause the nurse anything more than a note worth remembering.

Sometimes she forgot just how much the Grayson name meant, and just how important it could be. People marveled at the Graysons, as if they were celebrities, it was ridiculous... the only thing the Grayson's deserved were scorn.

"_Are you sure you want to marry into my crazy family and bear the Grayson name?"_ Daniel had once asked her.

She should have truly thought about that then, instead of being blinded by the love she thought she had seen in his eyes, when he'd asked her.

Shaking her head abruptly, trying to clear those thoughts from her head, she looked towards the nurse, "I'm ready to go home now" she said politely.

"Mr. Grayson's not here right now, unfortunately he had an urgent work issue he had to attend to, but he wanted me to let you know, that he hoped you felt better and that he'd come for you in the morning, after us doctors could make sure everything was fine over the night."

"That's ridiculous" Emily replied incredulously, she knew what he was doing, administering drugs into her, trying to keep her locked in the hospital room for the night, had he no shame?

"I feel fine" she added as she walked closer towards the nurse who was conveniently blocking the door.

"Mrs. Gra... Emily, he strictly ordered that we watch over you, just for precaution"

Taking a step closer towards the nurse, this time purposefully wanting to intimidate her, she tentatively began to question the nurse, a dangerous tone, hidden beneath her civil tone, "Are you going to keep me here against my will?"

The nurse shook her head aggressively, "Of course not" she said quickly, "Your husband's just worried, he just wants..."

Emily put up her hand gesturing for her to stop, "I will let my husband know how kindly you treated me and assure him that you insisted I stay, but you cannot keep me here against my will and so I will be checking myself out."

The nurse nodded her head meekly and stepped aside,

Just as Emily's hand touched the door knob, she turned towards the nurse, "Your phone please?" she asked, well more demanded despite the sweet tone her voice held.

As she felt the smooth black object of the now uncomfortable looking nurse, slip into the palm of her hand. Even she couldn't deny that the power behind the Grayson name sometimes felt nice.

* * *

"Took you long enough" Emily said impatiently as she looked up to see Nolan Ross quickly walking towards her, in the hospital lobby.

She looked unusually unraveled at this point, so even Nolan held back his usual playful and sarcastic mirth, as he handed her the large plastic bag, in his hands.

"I rushed here" Nolan replied honestly, "I always do when you call"

Emily's eyes pain filled eyes flickered up to look into his, "Well things change, you have a girlfriend now" she replied bitterly, "and anyway I don't know where I stand with anything anymore."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Nolan asked concerned by her comment.

She looked at him, seeming ready to say something, but then she closed her mouth and began to start walking away from him.

"You're family" Nolan said, his voice raised so she'd hear, as he ran to catch up to her, his hand placed firmly on her shoulder, to try stop her from walking away further.

She did stop, though she didn't turn around to face him,

"You're family, Em's, you come first always" he repeated, this time softly, as he looked towards her back.

There was a long moment of silence, but then he heard her voice, quiet, yet strong-willed, as she asked, "Promise me?"

"I promise, I promise you Emily" Nolan uttered faithfully, feeling, a sense of worry wash over himself, just how much pain was she in? The question in itself might have seemed demanding, but he knew her, and he knew that what she asked was out of her on vulnerability.

"I'm selfish" she muttered bitterly, as she slowly began walking again.

"You're in pain and you want reassurance that somebody has your back" Nolan replied in justification.

Turning her head, around so that she was now looking into his concerned blue eyes, she shook her head slightly, "You always make excuses for me, Nolan" she replied, just before stepping into the women's bathroom.

As the door shut behind him, he sighed and leant against the wall, how could he help Emily?

Coming out 15 minutes later, the hospital clothes, having been ditched for the comfortable Hampton's attire, Nolan had kindly brought to her, she glanced at him, and gestured for him to lead her towards the car, which he dutifully did.

As the doors shut after them, Nolan looked at her from the driver's seat and firmly said, "We're away from prying eyes now Em's, and I can't hold this in any longer, so just listen"

"I'm worried about you...we had a plan, remember? You were supposed to leave the Grayson's, move on. Instead, for some reason unbeknownst to me, you abandoned that plan, held that press meeting lying about your memory, ended up in the hospital, and looking at you now, you seem like you're in even more pain than when I last saw you...and that was only yesterday. What the hell's going on?"

Emily shook her head slightly, "He took more from me than I ever thought, and now I can't just leave Nolan, I don't want to."

"You want Revenge?" Nolan asked cautiously, an unsettling feeling beginning to settle in his stomach. When he had first found out what Daniel had done to her, he was the one who wanted her to get some type of payback and she was the one who had wanted to move on. He now had no idea what the hell changed, but that look in her eyes scared him and he knew it lead to nowhere good.

"Something like that" she replied callously, "but not through the police or public shaming or something easy like that, I want to take him down myself, I want to ruin him from the inside out... and for that I need to stay."

She was serious, completely so and Nolan felt a sick feeling begin to form in his stomach, this was not what he wanted fir herm "You're going to hurt yourself" he reasoned.

"I'm already hurt" she retorted, the volume of her voice having elevated, along with the unmistakeable look of anger and hatred deep within her eyes, "and I don't see how he could possibly hurt me more than he already has."

"What happened to moving on, starting fresh?" Nolan questioned urgently.

"I wanted to, I really did, but it doesn't matter anymore" she replied despondently, purposefully avoiding Nolan's eye, "I can't have children because of him...when he shot me, not only did he break my heart and seriously wound me,but he also and most unforgivably stole my future children from me."

Nolan's eyes widened in horror, and he looked towards Emily with such anguish in his expression, "I'm so sorry Em's" Nolan uttered earnestly, reaching for her hand as a gesture of his support, "I'll help you through this".

Emily shook her head slightly, "You, can't help me Nolan... just tell me that you now understand why I have to do this"

Nolan nodded his head, "I do" he murmured and he did understand, Emily was a fighter, she always had been, and after what she found out, he knew that in her pain she wouldn't be able to simply let that go so easily.

He also knew that in her pain she might go too far, and that's what scared him the most, so turning to her he wisely warned, "Just be careful, I don't know how Daniel's been these past few weeks, I can imagine incredibly guilty, but what I do know is that if you keep taking jabs at him, there will be a point in time when he decides he's had enough and he will fight back."

"I can handle Daniel" she replied unwaveringly.

Nolan sighed, wanting to say more, but not knowing what, "Then where to now" he finally asked, having finally started to rev up the car.

"Your place, I need to regroup before I go back there" she replied, referring to the Grayson Manor

* * *

"Why aren't you still at the hospital right now?" Victoria questioned from her fancy throne in the living room, as Daniel entered the room with a sad and worn out look on his face, "Need I remind you, that you of all people need to keep up the appearance of a loving and concerned husband, especially being that you were the one to shoot her."

"Something I just can't forget" Daniel mumbled despondently, as he gravitated towards the liquor cabinet, once again relying on its strong and dangerous powers to get him through the day.

Bringing her cup of tea to her mouth, Victoria took a dainty sip before placing it back down on the coffee table, and scornfully saying, "If you had listened to me from the start, then you would not be in this mess with her, but instead you had to be so bull headed and let that imposter fool you".

His face twitched at that comment and in his anger he placed the glass down harshly on the table, the loud sound resonating through the room, as he hastily poured himself a generous amount of liquor. Turning around to face his mother after taking a large sip, he scowled at her his face scrunched up in anger, and his voice harsh and cold. He had no words to reply to what she had scornfully said, not new ones, they'd hashed out that argument many times before, but instead he had a question of his own for her, "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

An aggressive look for such a young man, but it did not seem to faze Victoria who calmly replied, "You will have to enlighten me further if you want an answer."

"That Emily was infertile, that I was the one who made her that way when I shot her. You should have told me, I should have known!" he yelled angrily.

"Why?" she questioned abstractly, "Did you want to feel even more guilt, remorse, and anger? Is that what you wanted?"

Daniel shook his head in frustration and disgust, "We talked about children before" he replied despondently, his voice quiet, as if he was talking to himself, "she wanted three."

"See Daniel" Victoria prompted, refusing to look at where he was coming from in her resentment for Emily, "This is why I did not tell you, you've been shouldering enough guilt on your shoulders for weeks, and there was no need to burden you further".

Looking at her in disgust, his own voice carrying that same sentiment he frustratingly yelled, "How the hell can I atone for my sins, if you're hiding some of the worst parts from me...You and Dad always, always, always washed away my mistakes with money, or your connections. You swept it under the rug, like it was of little importance...but it was, it always was and if you had let me face the consequences for them then I would have learnt, and then I could have been the man Emily deserved, one that would never have hurt her like this...one she could have loved forever."

"Naive words" Victoria retorted, as he took another big gulp of his alcohol before looking towards her again and asking, "How did she found out, please tell me you didn't make it hard for her...that you..."

"I told her myself" Victoria replied, trying to hide the cruel smile trying to break through on her beautiful aging face.

Daniels eyes widened in horror, and he shook his head in disbelief, "You cruel women" he muttered angrily, "You, I can't even imagine how you softened that blow...you enjoyed it didn't you?" he asked, his voice rising in the anger he felt, "her pain".

"I am no monster" Victoria replied, her voice having rose to match his own, "but what Emily got she deserved. Karma at its finest, she faked pregnancy to fool you into thinking she was bearing a child, and because of that lost her chance of children forever."

"Because of me!" Daniel shouted in disgust for himself and his mother, "she lost that chance because of me. How can you be so callous about such a thing, this is a women who cannot have children anymore, I would think being a women yourself, you would feel some form of empathy for her".

Victoria merely shrugged her shoulders as she took another sip of her fancy tea.

"You should have told me" he repeated, "I should have been the one to tell her, it was my responsibility and only mine! But you just wanted to hurt her even more than she already was"

Victoria laughed sharply, then pierced her eyes through his own and spitefully said, "And you honestly believe you could have told her? For all your talk Daniel about paying for your actions, I personally do not think you could have shouldered not only the guilt but the consequences for your mistakes, and so as your parent, I did what anyone would, I helped you out, and as for Emily, we both know that you would have choked telling her, I mean even after all this, you still have a soft spot for that blonde... so I did it for you."

Daniel glared at his mother in pure disgust, "Well as you can imagine she did not take it well, and it's only added a ton more oil, to the fire she started long before, we'd probably even put up our smoke detectors."

"She knows?" Victoria clarified with a look of pure irritation on her face.

Daniel laughed bitterly, "Knows, she knows everything, and she is angry, and she is hurt and she is not going to make it easy for me!"

"She's a woman scorned, of course she won't make it easy, but that doesn't mean we can't crush her."

"I am not hurting Emily anymore than I already have, and neither are you" Daniel said defensively and resolutely.

"Your self-dignity is naive Daniel, she wants to see you suffer, and she is not going to stop until she can successfully cross you off from her target list".

"I am not hurting her" he repeated again, "I am going back to the hospital tomorrow morning to pick Emily up and when we get back I am going to talk to her... civilly. I am hoping that by having the night to ruminate about all that perspired between us this afternoon, she'll have thought about it and come to the same conclusion that I have, which is that we need to part. I don't expect Emily to forgive me, and I still expect that she'll want to instill some form of punishment onto me, but I am hoping that she'll have at least calmed down and be able to think rationally about what's best."

Victoria just smiled as if she knew something he didn't and was amused by his naiveté, "We'll see" she murmured.

He looked at her and shook his head before firmly saying, "Don't you dare meddle in this Mum, you have done enough...And when she decides my punishment, I am going to take it and I am going to go through with it, without you or anyone else trying to erase or soften the blow... even if it's prison."

"You're foolish" Victoria replied in disdain, sending him a disapproving look.

"You just wouldn't understand" Daniel retorted, a cold tone to his voice, "You need a conscience to and the whereabouts of yours is an ever debating topic?"

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**Finally got this one out, I know it's been ages, about a whole month actually, but I have honestly been so busy these last few weeks.**

**Now that the breaks finally here though, I wanted to update, and so I did, giving you guys an extra long chapter in the process , it's about double the size of a normal chapter, so I hope you'll all appreciate it...and Comment its Xmas you have the time and the spirit! =D**

**On that note, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to Everyone, I Hope Everyone Has a Great Winter Break!**

**... And yes the mid-season Finale, I cried, it was ridiculous how much tears fell from my eyes, I was so upset though, just when hope was finally blooming in my heart.**


	10. Chapter 10- Conflict and Clashing Heads

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

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**Chapter 10: Conflict and Clashing Heads**

**4 Days Later**

Slipping her key through the Grayson Manor front door, Emily Grayson gracefully stepped inside, a knowing glint in her eyes, as she thought about the calamity that would soon crash into Daniel Grayson.

With a cold heart she welcomed it; revenge had always been known to be sweet after all, and if not then she was fully prepared to dig her own grave...what else did she have to lose anyway?

Looking around the interior of Grayson Manor in all its grandeur, like a beast admiring the land they'd soon be conquering, she turned around when she heard Daniel's voice with the familiar mixture of two conflicting emotions in the tone of it.

He stopped just a metre away from her, not knowing how close the appropriate distance between them needed to be, as he asked, with concern and contrarily anger, "Where have you been?"

At Nolan's house was the answer, not that she cared to tell Daniel. She had stayed there for a few days needing a place to regroup before facing him head on, like she'd originally planned the moment her memories of the shooting had returned.

"Em's" he said again, trying to prompt her into answering.

She simply ignored him, pushing him to the side like an object in her way, as she walked further inside the house, feeling no need to stay trapped inside the front lobby with him.

Hearing the patter of his footsteps following her inside the living room, she felt him clasp onto her arm, stopping her from further advancing and subsequently pulling her back closer towards him.

She glared at him, trying not to react from the rather intimate way he decided to hold her, as she felt his hands encircle her waist, trapping her into facing him.

"You can't ignore me" he whispered in frustration.

"No, maybe first I need to drug you", she retorted jabbingly.

His eyes showed shame, "I'm sorry that was wrong of me, I..."

She shook her head in contempt, interrupting him as she spitefully replied, "Do you even have a sense of what's right and what's wrong anymore, or is it all just blurred for you in that head of yours?"

He looked back at Emily stuck for words, stumbling with them, as he answered, "I do, that's why I...that's why despite everything, I'm glad to see that you came back... and that you're looking well."

Emily scoffed, "What were you worried?" she murmured, as she used her hands to break his own from her waist. He dropped his hands, letting them fall to his sides, he'd only wanted to get her attention, not make her uncomfortable or even angrier. Though maybe on impulsive, he'd gone for her waist, because he missed it, because he longed for the time, when he could walk towards her and encircle her slim frame with his arms, drawing her in from the waist for an ardent kiss.

"You're still injured Emily" Daniel responded, with both honesty and guilt, "and as much as you like to try mask that, I know that physically you're still in pain and much weaker because of it...Do you really think I wanted you out alone, God knows where, in that condition?"

He paused for just a second, searching for an answer in her eyes, but he came up blank.

"Like you seem to be frustratingly good at, you took me by surprise when I went to pick you up from the hospital that morning only to find out that you'd checked yourself out. I had no idea where you were."

"Believe it or not I looked for you; I went into the city to see if you'd escaped to that little house. You know the one we found together and impulsively bought that one time." A small quick smile flashed across his lips, as memories of that day flooded his mind, but not a crack of a smile came from her. "I even went to the Stowaway, to check in with your friends, I barely got a foot in though before Jack and that fiery friend of yours kicked me out." Pausing he looked at her and slowly said, "By the fourth day, I really had thought you ran away."

"You're the one who runs Daniel...not me, and anyway I would have thought you'd have liked the idea of me running away, then you wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of your disgusting actions."

Daniel shook his head, "I want to deal with them...what I did to you..." he paused trying to piece together his words in a clear way that might make her understand, "I know that I can't make amends for what I did to you, I know that it can't ever be fixed, or that I should ever even deserve your forgiveness...but I...before we part even if it's just one small act of resolution, I want us to try and tie up at least one loose end. I want for both of us to be able to move on knowing that what's left behind, as messy as it may be, at least has some form of an ending."

Tentatively, Daniel took Emily's hands in his own as he looked into her well masked eyes, continued and said, "It's the only way we'll get the closure we need to move on, even after the chaos I regretfully caused."

Emily shook her head, her soft blonde hair bouncing in waves against her back, "I thought you understood Daniel. I thought I made it clear to you when I ripped off my bandage that night we fought. I don't want closure, Daniel, I'm quite fine standing in the chaos with you...I'm used to it by now anyway."

Daniels face scrunched up in frustration, and he dropped his hands from her own, "You lost control that night, maddened by anger, by pain...you weren't thinking rationally!"

"You take me too lightly Daniel, I'm not like you, I can become enraged without saying something or in your case doing something that I otherwise wouldn't. That night, I let my rage spill out, but I didn't let that curb my rationality..."

"You ripped of your bandage" Daniel shouted in anger, interrupting what she was going to say, "You let yourself bleed in your rage for me. You can paint that however which way you want but that was not a rational decision!"

Emily laughed, her lips curling up into a smirk, as the harsh sound escaped her lips, "I wanted you to see the harm you'd caused me in all its rawness, I wanted your guilt to swallow you up upon sight, I wanted you to understand just how serious I am in what I said... I am staying here with you, Daniel, by your side as your wife, and just like you promised me the first time you proposed to me, I am going to make you as happy as you've made me."

"Screw you!" he uttered in anger, his eyes looking towards her in disbelief. He was talking tensely now, trying to control his anger as once again he tried to reason with her, "I am trying here Em's, I really am, I am trying to become a better man, someone who could never in a million years, do what I did to you."

"and what good is that to me now" she replied coldly, "If I can't move on, why should you?"

"Then don't make it easy for me, send me to prison, set the press on me...let me atone for my sins, isn't that what you want?"

Emily shook her head, taking an intimidating step even closer towards him, so that their bodies were almost touching.

He could feel it, her resentment, her rage, as if it was cloaked around her aura vying to unnerve him, and standing there he could only marvel at the control she could immerse onto it, her own feelings, her rage... it made her deadly.

Looking towards Daniel, her dark brown eyes zeroing in on his, like a lioness ready to pounce on her prey. Emily slowly began to speak, the tone of her voice expressing scorn and ruthlessness above all, "I want you to ruin for your sins Daniel, atonement means nothing."

Backing away from Emily, needing to distance himself from her before he gave into his impulse that wanted to grab onto her shoulders and shake her until she understood, until she woke up from the pit she'd fallen into, Daniel aggressively raked his fingers through his hair in frustration, trying not to shout again in anger.

Taking a breath, trying to calm down, Daniel looked towards Emily desperately hoping that some sincerity would break through her steely composure.

"I love...d you Emily, with all of my heart, you were my...you consumed my heart, my thoughts... and yet I-I betrayed you in the worst way I possibly could, I hurt you and that thought sickens me, probably just as much, if not more than it even sickens you. I hurt you and every day that guilt eats away inside of me. If you want to punish me then punish me, I won't fight you on that, I deserve prison, I deserve to be publicly shamed, I deserve to face my heavy consequences... however, subsequently even I deserve the chance to atone for my sins and I can't let you take that away from me."

Daring to take a step closer towards Emily, he tentatively lifted his hand towards the left side of her face, cradling it gently, while his other hand, rested securely on her hip. He expected her to push him away, or glare up at him with her piercing brown eyes, but instead she allowed him, simply drawing in a dragged breath as their proximity increased. "I know that you're not this cruel Emily, I know that even underneath all this pain, and anger, that you have a heart...I can feel it, it's beating" he murmured softly, the tiniest of smiles cracking through on his face.

Drawing his other hand from her hip and settling that hand on the right side of her face, gently brushing away her stray blonde hair strands in the process, Daniel whispered, "Let's try move on Emily, and become better people, people who we can both be proud of."

She really was beautiful, Daniel thought to himself, as he gazed upon his tragic lover...his wife. With her smooth golden hair flowing down naturally in soft curls shaping her perfectly sculpted face, her striking brown eyes staring into his with a look he couldn't explain...and her lips, her soft, rosy colored lips.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he knew what he wanted, and he also knew that it was a bad idea, a terrible one actually, nevertheless holding Emily so closely against his body, the hold she still had over him and his desire was just too strong. So promising himself just one last time, Daniel Grayson slowly tilted Emily's head up and leant in towards her placing his soft warm lips against her own. It was a gentle kiss, passionate but tentative, and in many ways it reminded Daniel of their very first, for he had been both as eager, cautious and gentle as he had been now.

"I'm sorry" he whispered immediately after, as he drew his lips away from her, savouring the taste of her on his tongue, "I was just..."

She shook her head slightly, "It's okay" she replied softly, as she felt his hands slowly drop from her face, "I knew you'd do that"

"How?"

Her lips turned up into a smile and she placed her hand on his chest as she leant into him, her lips gravitating to where his ear was, "because you're predictable" she whispered, her warm breath settling onto his ear, as she added, this time revealing the hidden malice she'd been concealing, "and because you're easy to manipulate" .

His mouth widened in horror and he hastily withdrew himself from her touch as if he'd been burned by fire, "You bitch" he uttered in anger, as he looked towards her in disgust.

She only laughed, her eyes reflecting a cruel sense of amusement, as she said, "How quickly I can make your emotions change Daniel."

There was no trying to reason with her this time, Daniel thought to himself angrily, and he didn't want to, he was done and he was going to let it show. She had used his sincere feelings against him like a joke, like they were in some sort of a game that she wanted to entrap him in, it was sick, it really was.

Glaring at her with dark angry eyes, he furiously said, his volume elevating with each sentence, "I've given you the benefit of the doubt Emily, ever since you woke up on that hospital bed. I've berated myself, letting my guilt eat up my insides and believed I've deserved it. I've shouted at my mother, sticking up for you every time she's said so much as one bad word against you. And every time I thought about how you lied to me about the pregnancy, I've withhold my anger believing that after what I did to you I didn't have the right to express it... But I am done! I won't let my past feelings for you interrupt me judgement on how to best deal with you now and I am not going to play that farce of a game you made up. It's time for you leave; I won't let you manipulate me anymore!"

Emily shook her head, not feeling phased by his outburst, "I'm serious about this Daniel and I'm the one holding all the cards. If it helps consider me the thorn in your side that you can't shake out. That's what it'll feel like having me as your wife."

"For your own sick twisted reasons, you might want to stay by my side, but you cannot make me stay by yours and if I have to... I will physically remove you from this house." He threatened, "So if you have any sense of dignity left, I suggest you walk out now."

Emily's dark brown eyes flickered up piercingly into his as she scornfully replied, "You shot me Daniel, and that gives me a lot of leverage over you. I know you like to think, that you're the type of man who can skip the easy way out and handle the full extent of your consequences...but you can't. The only way out of this is to go to prison for years, but you won't do that, I know you won't... Maybe there was a small chance that you might have been prepared, in order to find some sort of redemption in yourself... for me. But looking at me now in all my scorn, knowing that even after years in prison, I'll still look at you with this same resentment in my eyes, are you honestly saying that you're willing to go to prison for me? You wouldn't be able to handle it, locked up in there alone by yourself, with only your thoughts about our messed up relationship to amuse you, it would kill you, or if not, like last time your mother nearly might by orchestrating your own beat up."

Daniel shook his head, his eyes wandering to the liquor table where he spotted a 30 year old bottle of scotch. Walking towards it and pouring himself a generous glass, the rich liquid splashed against the ice cubes in his glass, causing them to bob to the surface as he drew the intoxicating liquid to his lips gulping it down.

Emily laughed at his angry defeated look, "Whatever can get you through the day, right Daniel"

He glared at her, retorting "I'm not going to offer you any, you're fucking crazy enough without it."

"Maybe" she shrugged, "but I won this fight" she added with a smirk, "and I knew I would."

Standing by the liquor table, silently fuming, as he continued to down the alcohol in his glass until only the shrunken ice cubes remained. Daniel placed his glass heavily back onto the table, and then proceeded to walk towards the sofa, where Emily's Prada handbag lay untouched. Undoing the clasp and pulling out her phone he continued his advance towards her.

"I've had enough of this!" he said tensely, his voice low and full of rage, "enough of you and enough of this fucking guilt...so call the police Emily, turn your husband in, I'd be happy to put you and this fucked up relationship behind me."

Slapping her phone in her hand, his angry brown eyes now just like Emily's, full of resentment, flickered up holding her gaze and dared her to call his bluff.

"You're not fucking winning this Em's" he couldn't help but sneer as he backed away from her.

Despite her surprise Emily masked it well, a look of indifference on her face as she dialled the three familiar numbers. She hadn't thought he had it in him, but even still she knew her judgement on the matter would have to wait until the police had led him away handcuffed, for there was still ample time for him to get out of it. What way should she bet? That he'd back out like a coward, or that he'd actually live up to his talk, and face his consequences. She didn't know, but maybe just maybe, if he did allow the police to take him, then she could possibly think about forgiving him.

"Well years in prison seems more like it's my win then yours." Emily retorted as she put the dialling phone up to her ear, "Who knows Daniel, maybe this is what I wanted all along, maybe I knew you wouldn't go to the police unless I baited you...maybe this is all part of my manipulation".

"Shut up" he hissed, scowling at her as his heart beat rapidly against his chest in anxiety. "for once just..."

He was interrupted, as Emily began to speak over the phone, using her politest voice for the South Hampton PD, " Hello, Emily Grayson speaking", she paused listening to what they had to say before responding, her voice sounding nervous, alarmed, "I remembered something important from that night, I-I'd like to speak to someone in person, I'm here at the Grayson Manor."

"They're on their way" she kindly informed her husband as she hung up, before gracefully sitting down on the sofa and slipping her phone back into her purse.

"You could have told them over the phone" Daniel growled, as he began to pace the room in uneasiness, ending back up at the liquor table, with that empty glass of scotch in his hand, "instead of dragging this out."

"Oh don't panic now, I'm giving you a chance to back out"

"Are you happy? Are you enjoying this?" he shouted infuriated, as he slammed his glass back on the table, his booming voice echoing in the spacious living room, as he reached for the decanter to pour more.

"I wouldn't if I were you" Emily murmured patronizingly, "You're guilty enough as it is and the smell of alcohol on your breath at 11:30 in the morning will only make you look guiltier. In fact before the police get here, if I were you then I'd try mask the smell of alcohol from your breath."

His hand hovered on the decanter, but even in his fuming anger, he knew that what she said, no doubt intending to piss him off from its condescending nature, was right. So leaving his empty glass as it was, and pulling out a pack of mint gum, from where his jacket lay strewn against a chair, he popped a piece into his mouth and silently continued to pace the room, waiting in dread until the doorbell would ring.

Why now, he thought angrily to himself, as memories of the past began to torture him. Memories from his past brush up with the law, the police...the court. It had been a terrible time in his life, but he knew he'd been lucky, to get out of it as he had, and with his fiancé still waiting on the other side like she promised.

Emily was so supportive of him during that time, and he had hated to admit it but back then he had honestly doubted that she'd stay with all the uproar and stress it had caused...but she had. Emily had stayed through it all, even when he doubted his own innocence, she stayed. Even when the judge had locked him in prison, she stayed. Even when her name was getting slandered through the media for sticking with him, she stayed. She stayed and because of her support, he was able to hold onto his hope and get through that rough time.

**Flashback**

"Daniel, are you sure that you're okay?" Emily asked softly with concern, as she looked towards her fiancé, all battered and bruised from the physical assault he'd faced in prison.

Looking back at Emily, Daniel tried to reassure her with a smile, though it turned out looking more like a grimace in the condition he was in.

Emily drew closer to him, wrapping her arms ever so gently around his body, and engulfing him in her love and warmth, "It's okay, you're home now" she whispered soothingly, "and I'm here, whatever you want just..."

"Thank you" Daniel murmured, as he tentatively lifted his hand to her face, "you're a saint"

Emily leant into his touch, closing her eyes as she felt his fingers brush against her cheek and then slowly begin to play with her hair, "I'm not perfect" she responded quietly as her eyes fluttered open again.

He placed his lips gingerly against her own, "You are to me, you always will be"

Emily shook her head slightly, "You can't say that" she murmured, as she looked away from him. This time, her voice just below a whisper, she added, "I'm only trying afterall".

Daniel frowned slightly, not understanding why she couldn't accept what he'd said, neither understanding what she had meant, "What can I say then?" he asked softly.

Emily's eyes flickered back up into his, and her lips curled up into an innocent smile, as she replied "say that you love me anyway."

"I love you anyway" Daniel repeated with no hesitation, smiling back at her, as she slowly helped to ease him onto his bed, his back resting comfortably against the plush cushions propped up against the head board.

Emily looked at him with concern as he winced from that simple movement, and she stayed standing by his bedside, her hand holding onto his, as she earnestly said, "I'm really sorry this happened to you Daniel; the shooting, you being accused as guilty and put on trial...the assault. If I had...if we hadn't gotten into that argument on the beach that night, then none of this would have happened and we would have been in Paris by now, starting a new life."

"I'm so sorry Daniel" Emily uttered regretfully.

Daniel squeezed her hand, shaking his head as he honestly replied, "This isn't your fault Em's, it's mine...the truth is I let my mother get into my head, and I doubted you and your love for me, when I shouldn't have. Because of that I thrust the idea of Paris onto you as a test for your love, and when you didn't immediately say yes, I regretfully doubted you even more...I don't know what I was thinking, I didn't need to test your love and the way I did certainly proved nothing except my own idiocy. I'm the one who's sorry Em's, I never should have doubted you in the first place and I never want to again."

Emily paused, not knowing how to respond. A part of her was hurt that Daniel had doubted her so easily only needing some prompting from that cruel mother of his...but then he had apologized so sincerely and she really didn't want to be mad at him.

"Then don't" she replied resolutely, her brown eyes flickering up into his own "don't doubt me".

"I won't" he assured her, as once again he apologetically whispered, "I'm sorry".

Drawing her hand to Daniel's face, Emily gently brushed her fingers soothingly across his bruised cheek, as she softly murmured, "and don't doubt yourself...you're innocent".

Daniel shook his head, "You know that I might not be Em's, I just...as much as I try, I can't remember what happened on the beach that night with Tyler".

He paused looking at her shamefully, as he quietly asked, "What if Im not innocent?"

"Then it was self-defense" she assured him.

"But, what if it wasn't" Daniel further pressed.

"Daniel..."

"I'm serious Em's, this blank space in my head...it terrifies me and I don't want to believe the worst but I..." he paused, and not knowing how to finish that sentence, began to say what he really intended to ask her, " I need to know what you'd think...in honesty."

"Daniel when I look at you I see a kind soul and an innocent heart and I can't imagine that you could ever kill anyone out of pure anger, or cold blood or whatever it is that people kill for...but then again people never like to believe that the people they love are capable of cruel actions...To answer your question, I would think that what you did was wrong and unsettling, and I don't think that I could still be in a relationship with you...but I...even saying that, I know that a part of me would still love you anyway...maybe that makes me sick but I...I can't imagine ever not loving you. "

**Flashback End**

Looking at Emily now sitting on the sofa, no doubt enjoying his impending doom, Daniel wondered if even now, there was a part of her that still loved him. He doubted it, but a part of him still hoped against the odds, not that it really mattered. The one thing he did know though, was that when he went to prison and stayed in there for years paying out his sentence, unlike last time, there would be no lover...no Emily waiting on the other side for him.

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**Well, here's chapter 10, it didn't turn out exactly as I wanted it to, but I hope you all enjoyed it. Comments are appreciated =D**

**It's a bit late but Happy New Year as well, I hope 2015 is a great year for all!**


	11. Chapter 11- Wicked Games

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

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**Chapter 11: Wicked Games**

***Knock Knock**

"Daniel, you should get the door" Emily murmured, lifting her eyes up from her phone to glance at him, with cold, unfeeling eyes, "I mean...unless you want me to drag it out even longer."

"Oh how you love games" Daniel muttered angrily in reply with a taut expression on his handsome face, as he slowly began walking towards the door, trying to steady his nerves from the anxiety he felt. How did one confess to the police that they were the perpetrator who shot their own wife, on the night of the wedding?

He didn't know...no matter what he said, in the eyes of the police, he wouldn't just be guilty, but he would also be the cruelest and lowest of men. While Emily, would appear to be the innocent and tragic wife, who was forced into marrying him, and then staying with him afterwards, oblivious to the fact that it was him, her own husband who had shot her.

Opening the door, trying to steady his composure, as the two police officers came into view, he felt the noose around his neck tightening even further... that's what it felt like, like he was strangling, like he was struggling for a breath of air. But not just any air, he needed clean air that could renew his self, instead of the polluted air that he had been breathing in for far too long, plaguing his body with cruelness and madness.

If he confessed he knew he could rid that air and cleanse himself, but with the noose tied so tightly around his neck, squeezing out the words seemed like an insurmountable action.

"Mr. Grayson, how have you been holding up?" Officer Laine, the female police officer who had been working on the case kindly asked him.

Daniel blinked in surprise, expecting to hear animosity from her voice instead of friendliness, as if she could smell out the guilt on him. Of course she couldn't though, or else he would have been in hand cuffs, a lot sooner than today.

Trying to force some words out in reply, he slowly mumbled, "not too well to be honest".

She looked at him with empathy, "We'll find the perpetrator" she assured him, as her partner Officer Hunter, added, "With the information your wife can give us today, we're hoping that it will be a big clue in helping us solve the case and when we do, you can be assured that the perpetrator will be punished to the fullest extent of the law."

"And what would that be?" Daniel asked apprehensively, cursing himself after the words had stumbled out of his mouth. He knew he shouldn't have, the knowledge would do but nothing but further hinder his already weakening will to confess.

"The person guilty will be charged with attempted murder, and will therefore receive a life sentence."

"Murder" Daniel whispered horrified, his whole face having whitened, he hadn't attempted to murder Emily when he had shot her. The alcohol he'd consumed, his anger and his fluctuating emotions had led him to react on impulse, and that impulse was wanting to hurt her, like he was hurt at the time. But attempted murder...he knew his impulse was cruel, but even in the deepest, most hidden recesses of his mind, it couldn't have been that dark, that twisted. He refused to believe that, not with knowing how much he had truly loved her.

"The perpetrator fired not one but two shots to the center of your wife's body. She was unarmed and in no way a threat to the perpetrator. One shot could have killed her, but the perpetrator fired two, hoping to assure her death. This was definitely attempted murder, and honestly it's disgusting." Officer Laine stated, her lips curling up in distaste.

"It was a miracle that Emily survived" Ben added in respect to her, "she must be a real fighter."

Daniel slowly nodded his head, the noose around his neck now fully tightened; marring any inclination he had of confessing.

"Speaking of Emily, where is your wife?" Officer Laine asked, "Can we come in?"

Daniel ushered them into the lobby, not wanting to seem suspicious, as he plundered his shaken mind for a suitable way out of all this.

This was Emily's expertise though, not his, the lying, the manipulation... the way she could handle any social situation, with a calm exterior and a quick response. He'd always admired that about her, she never seemed to panic or feel rattled by people or their words, not even his mother's, which was a rare trait to come across in people.

Because of this, when he was working in Grayson Global and looking for new investors, he had always used to love taking Emily with him on his business meetings. With her by his side, he had felt confident that he'd get their so called "alliance" and often he did. She was charming, well informed and she always knew the right thing to say, often more than he did himself. After the meetings, when they went back to the hotel room, since often the meetings were out of town. He'd grab her by the waist pulling her closer to him and whisper in her ear, "it's not fair, you're so much better than me at my own job."

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**Flashback**

"Em's" Daniel murmured affectionately as he threw his jacket on the armchair to his side, "because of you this is my third investor I've brought in this month, so thank you so much"

She turned around and faced him, her lips curling up into a smile, "I'm sure Conrad will be happy".

He nodded his head in agreeance, as he walked towards her, "I'll give you credit"

"It's not my job, you don't have to" she replied lightly, as she felt his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"I still will" he answered resolutely, his hand beginning to play with the bottom strands of her blonde hair as he leant further into her so that his lips were against her ear, "it's not fair" he moaned in a whisper, "you're so much better than me at my own job."

She laughed softly, "you underestimate yourself, you could do this without me Daniel, you just don't want to, you have too much fun with me by your side."

"Well you're right about that" he murmured seductively, as he began to press his warm succulent lips against her neck, moving slowly down until he reached her collarbone, his eager hands having slid the sleeve of her blouse to the side, eliciting a soft moan from Emily's mouth.

As Daniel rose his head back up to meet hers, his brown eyes gazing at her with desire, she cursed herself for giving in too easy, for loving him too much...it could only end badly, that she knew, for as much as she tried, she wasn't the perfect lover he thought she was, and she didn't have the courage to let him in to all of her; to her memories, to her pain and ultimately to her vulnerability. She gave him bits and pieces of her true self, what she wanted, what she could handle, but relinquishing all her control, and baring her whole self in front of him, it was too hard.

"I love you Emily" he whispered lovingly, the corners of his mouth tugging up into a warm smile before his lips crashed back ardently against her own. He further deepened that kiss, as he slowly began to push her body towards the bed, and in response Emily wrapped one arm around his back, her cool hand touching bare skin, as she slid it underneath the light but expensive material of his blue shirt, while her other hand lay pressed against the back of his neck, her fingers brushing up against his dark brown hair.

As her back hit the soft surface of the bed and his body fell against her own, Emily's breath hitched in anticipation and her eyes flickered up staring into the fervent brown eyes of her lover, as her lips slowly parted, giving way for his name to escape her succulent lips.

**Flashback End**

* * *

"The thing is..." Daniel started, feeling the need to say something, to fill the awkward silence that had transpired from his lack of quick thinking, "my wife is not feeling well at the moment and she needs rest, I'm sorry but it's best you come back later."

"She was the one who called us Mr. Grayson, we'll speak to her briefly before leaving her to rest and wishing for her best recovery." Officer Hunter countered, not accepting what he had said, "I'm sure you want this case solved up as soon as possible, and this new memory of hers may help us."

Twitching with irritation from the authoritative tone of voice, Officer Hunter had used on him, Daniel refused to be phased by it or let it negate the lie he'd previously told.

He disliked Officer Hunter a lot, as cops went he seemed like a fair one who believed in the system and stuck to the rules, but he was also a man who seemed to like his wife a bit more than he should. Daniel had seen it, how his hand would linger for a bit too long on her shoulder when he wanted to assure her of something, or how he always seemed a little too eager to be as helpful to Emily as he possibly could. He could tell even in just the simple way Ben looked at her, and it irritated him... it really did.

It didn't help that between Officer Hunter and Officer Laine, Officer Hunter seemed to be the officer who was the most skeptical of him. Daniel knew that he had to be extra careful, with what he said and did around him, for he knew that Ben would have no qualms about putting Daniel back on the suspect list, if he felt there was reason for it.

Daniel could not give him that reason, not after he'd backed out on setting himself free through confessing. And so just like what his parents would do to cover something up, or what Emily would do to manipulate somebody, he had to lie, and convincingly. "Of course finding a suspect is important, but even more so than that, is my wife's recovery. She is worried, and she is stressed, and she is tormented from the shooting. Talking to the police only intensifies those feelings, negating her recovery. Of course it is necessary and cannot be avoided if we want a chance of finding the suspect, but today, it can be avoided, and so today she is going to rest. This should be something even you can understand, Officer Hunter."

"I understand" Officer Hunter replied slowly, "Have Emily call us back when she has finished resting, if not then we will be back this evening" He declared, as he looked towards the Grayson with a look irritation before he left with Officer Laine.

* * *

"I knew you didn't have it in you to confess" Emily murmured with animosity, as she walked up behind him from the shadows she'd been lurking in, "a coward, through and through".

Daniel turned to face her, looking as if he wanted to say something nasty in reply, but instead he held her gaze as he candidly said in reply, the one thing that had truly disturbed him ever since he'd heard Officer Hunter's statement, "Emily, that night when I shot you, I know it doesn't change anything but I still need you to know that I didn't...I wasn't trying to murder you?"

He saw as her eyes widened in surprise at the issue he'd brought up, but then she shook it off, "It doesn't matter" she responded, "you still shot me and I still nearly died".

"I know and I'm sor..."

"You're pathetic" Emily said callously, her voice dripping with disgust, "Were you not just yelling at me before the police came, telling me that you were done with the guilt and with me. You said that you wouldn't let your past feelings interrupt with how to best deal with me now, yet it looks like even those words you can't adhere to. Come on Daniel, since you choked on your confession, we're playing by my rules now, and you'll make it god damn easy for me if you don't start hating me."

"You're just scared that if I don't hate you then you might start forgiving me?" Daniel retorted, as he moved closer towards her, "admit it Emily, you're terrified, so much so that you want me to hurt you further to prevent that."

Emily pursed her lips and backed away from him, her eyes avoiding the penetrating gaze, he chose to stare at her with.

I know you're in pain Emily" he continued "and with that anger induced pain, for reasons I can't comprehend, you feel like you have to do this instead of simply letting go, or hurting me in one solid shot. So you vow to be cold and unfeeling, you vow to ruin me, in this twisted game of yours, which neither of us will win. You're the one who's pathetic Emily, pathetic for choosing to adhere to all this extra pain that will come to you."

She glared at him fiercely not knowing how to respond in words as he smirked slightly and pointed his finger towards her, "I see you, Emily, I see you"

She shook her head in disbelief, "See me" she uttered, "not once have you seen me, the real me, all of me; not when we first met, not one we fell in love, not when you proposed. I hid myself from you and you didn't notice, you were too dumb, or naive or simply disinterested to try and even break through my walls."

"I did try" he persisted "again and again and again...but you were just..."

"But you just gave up" Emily replied fiercely, interrupting his sentence, "and then turned your back on me to start your affair with Sarah."

"I see you too Daniel, you're weak... you have ideals, you have dreams, you have values..." she paused for effect before finishing off with the words, "but you don't fight for anything!"

With that she began to walk away from him, heading towards the staircase, but Daniel quickened his pace, to catch up with her, grabbing her arm tightly to force her into facing him. "Emily, what do you want me to fight for then?" he asked challengingly.

Emily's eyes widened in a mixture of anger, disbelief and irritation before settling into an angry glare, which she directed at Daniel as she successfully managed to twist her arm out of his grip.

But he was persistent and unrelenting, and he wanted an answer now, so he grabbed her again, this time backing her up against the wall.

She was cornered now, and she knew it as she felt the back of her head and her shoulder blades press against the solid cream coloured walls and she cursed his name repeatedly in her head as she felt his toned body, press up close against her own, completely blocking her from escape.

"I'm asking you" he said indignantly, "What do you want me to fight for, Em's?"

He was so close to her body, that she could feel the fervent heat radiating off of it, and smell the fresh, woody, chocolaty scent that lingered off his skin, and as much as she wanted to admit it, she couldn't ignore the deep feeling off lust her mind was trying to repress.

"Get off me" she said sharply, drawing a jagged breath as she struggled against him, "you have no right..."

"To ask you a question" he retorted, interrupting her like she'd done to him so many times before.

"To try restrain me like this"

"But we're husband and wife Emily, because you won't leave me alone, because you're choosing to stay... Answer my question and I'll let you go" he added.

Emily glared at him fiercely, she hated feeling this weak; she hated how her pushing him away wouldn't have as much impact on him due to her weakness. It was frustrating, especially during times like now, when he was taking advantage of her because of it. But what was most frustrating was how she couldn't react explosively. Instead she had to keep her cool and act indifferent, like he wasn't wrecking havoc under her skin.

"You seem desperate" she replied coolly, "using my lack of strength from the injury to try force me into answering your question...desperate and stupid."

Daniel shrugged his shoulders, "I guess you can say that I'm desperate to see you squirm... and I'm sorry but I just don't feel like caving any time soon."

Emily sighed, using her warning voice as she said, "I'm just going to block you out now, until you decide to let go of me yourself and you will let me go even without me answering your question. It's only a matter of time, I mean knowing you it must be so hard, being this close to me, your body pressed against mine, and not being able to give in to your desire...the one where you ravish my body, touching me all over and covering me in kisses. And unless you really put your hands on me, and take advantage of me, which I know even you wouldn't do, then you know you can't have me."

Biting down on her lower lip, an action she knew he found arousing, as she saw the lust coming through in his brown eyes, she smirked, knowing she had won as she continued and said, "So you might as well save yourself the torment, and stop toying with your senses from once again choosing to secure me in such a close way, for we all know in a battle between my iron will, and yours, mine will always win."

"You're probably right" Daniel murmured, drawing his lips towards her ear and further leaning into her in the process, trying to arouse her himself as he began to whisper, "lust, desire, thirst... you knew just where to attack to dissolve my intentions, almost as if you'd been feeling those things yourself."

He placed one hand on her hip, trying to gauge the reaction she refused to give him, as he then pressed his warm lips on the side of her neck, just below the ear he'd been whispering into.

He had her trapped and she knew it, if she yelled at him and pushed him away from her so abruptly, then by doing that he'd know that her lust for him was indeed existent, explaining why he'd been able to get under her skin so easily. It was like in school when a girl denied she liked a boy so profusely, that everyone then believed she did, on the pretense that she'd gotten so worked up over it.

But she couldn't just continue letting him kiss her, she hated it the feel of his lips gliding across her smooth skin, the way it threw her senses in disarray, and left her feeling hot all over.

"Daniel" she said trying to steady her voice, trying to sound in control.

He continued to kiss her, his hand beginning to hitch up her shirt.

"Daniel" she repeated again, this time trying to sound sharper.

This time he stopped, lifting his head up to face hers, his lips only inches from her own, "If you want me to stop then tell me to stop" he murmured, before closing the gap between his lips and hers.

Emily's breath rose in her throat, and she cursed herself, for letting her control slip, "Stop!" she said sharply, her head having moved to the side to prevent his lips from brushing up against hers.

As promised he stopped, and she pushed him away from her, glaring up at him, as she readjusted her shirt and hair, trying to regain some of her biting demeanour.

Daniel smirked, knowing that he'd been able to ruffle up a few of her feathers as he backed away from her. "You sure you still want to play this game Em's, now that I know one of your weaknesses"

Emily laughed, "You're more naive then I thought, if you think you'll be able to exploit it. I have control whereas you do not."

"I'm not naive anymore" Daniel replied indignantly,

"Then don't go thinking that you can change my mind and make me realize that moving on is what I need to heal, I need your blood before I can even think about healing" Emily said maliciously.

"I know, I just wonder how long you can bear to stay with me until you break" Daniel retorted.

"Until I break... Are you planning to hurt me?" Emily asked challengingly.

"I'm not planning anything" Daniel answered honestly, "but if anything you've proven to me, that you know how best to make me angry and get under my skin, and as much as I like to think I couldn't hurt you, ultimately, I can't say that I'm such a good guy, that I won't snap back."

"I'll consider that my warning then" Emily replied coolly, as she began to turn away from him and walk up the stairs.

"Emily" Daniel called out feeling the need to say one more thing. She didn't turn around as she ascended the winding stairs but he knew she'd hear as he shouted, "You started this, and you can end this anytime you like, you said so yourself, you're in control; remember that when you get to the point where you feel like you've had enough of the wicked games."

* * *

**I know it's been quite a while, but I've been really busy, I'm glad I managed to get this out though.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, comments are greatly appreciated.**


	12. Chapter 12- It Means Nothing

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Stained Or Unstained, It Means Nothing**

It was another warm summer day, like most in the Hampton's, the sky was blue, the clouds white and fluffy, and the sun was shining down on the spacious land and soft rolling waves of the ocean. But one would never know, not through looking into the bitter lives of Daniel Grayson and Emily Grayson...Correction Thorne, because although by law they were married, in reality they couldn't have been further apart, in both heart and mind.

Marriage, holy matrimony, union, whatever you wanted to call it, it was all a farce to them now... now the only thing they seemed unified in was their mutual need to see the other hurt.

* * *

"Daniel" Emily shouted impatiently, her voice raised as she stood outside his door, her hand curled up into a fist against the door, as she abruptly knocked to get his attention.

Hearing silence on the other side, she sighed in pure irritation, as if he could ignore her, his hostile wife, his constant sparring partner, his unforgiving reminder. He could try, and the first week he had, he had tried so hard to ignore her, it was amusing in its own way, watching him bite his tongue, and look away as if he thought the silent treatment would do anything other than make her laugh. It hadn't of course, in fact Daniel trying to ignore her constant jabs and attacks, seemed to madden him more than it did herself, and so as they'd both predicted him being on the defensive hadn't lasted long.

From then on it had been constant, back and forth fighting, malicious in its intent, and often baseless for their only reason for doing such things was their desire to see the other hurt and lose their resolve.

Placing her hand on the door knob, not caring to wait for his permission a second longer, Emily turned the door knob and stepped inside...though this time she wished she really hadn't.

It was too much his smug expression and hers, as they sat up in bed together, seemingly unclothed, with his arm draped lazily around her bare shoulder.

It made her sick.

"What do you want, to chat about the weather? How I slept last night?" Daniel asked mockingly with a smirk on his face as he looked up into Emily's resentful eyes, "Because I didn't, not much anyway" he added, turning his gaze to Sarah and smiling as his hand softly stroked her natural brown hair.

"That about does it for me, what's new with you?" Daniel asked smugly, watching Emily as she tried to keep her emotions in control. This was the hardest he'd ever seen her try and for that he couldn't help feeling accomplished. She was the one who had wanted to play, she was the one who had wanted to dismantle his life, and so he refused to feel guilty and he refused to stop until she waved the white flag, and even then he couldn't imagine that he'd stop being resentful of her, it was too late. She'd hurt him too and then forced him to remember, forced him to hold on, for what, her enjoyment?

They could have moved on, he could have moved on, that's all he had wanted a fresh start, a chance to redeem himself, but she had turned cold, and vicious, and now he had too. Now the only happiness he knew he'd get was from the satisfaction of knowing that for however long she stayed, he could hurt her, more than she could hurt him, and so he had decided, that if he was going to lose in life, he would make god damn sure that he'd win in her game.

"You need to get dressed" Emily said sharply, glad her voice hadn't betrayed the emotions that sight had brought up as her eyes swept over them in disgust, "We have a cocktail party to attend to, and they'll be expecting the Hampton's favourite young couple to be there".

With that she swiftly exited the room, the staccato beat of her Louboutin heels, echoing off the marble floor as she walked towards her bedroom, now more than ever feeling the need to regain her composure so that she could bear to have Daniel on her arm in half an hour, smiling and laughing with other affluent people of the Hampton's, no doubt all pretending that their life was perfect too.

* * *

Stepping into his bedroom, and feeling the childish urge to flop onto his flush large bed, and just lie there arms spread out wide, as he'd done as a teenager, to combat his tiredness, and well laziness at that time. Daniel's simple plans came to a disappointing halt, when he saw a certain, brown eyed, blonde haired woman sitting on the edge off his bed, with a cloth garment bag to the left of her.

Emily looked as beautiful as ever, a perfect ten in appearance, it really was no wonder he'd fallen for her, it's not like he had realized at that time, that with her beauty and charm, came a darkness and bitterness, much like how a beautiful bright flower, could hide a spiteful serpent underneath it.

Emily would probably say, that that wasn't fair, that the darkness and bitterness wasn't always there, that it had formed only when his actions against her took a turn for the worst... Well that was if she'd have an honest conversation with him without trying to uphold her cold demeanour, but he was over that now, honest conversation or not, him and Emily were beyond any form of repair.

He couldn't even look at her for too long, without his blood beginning to boil with anger, and his body beginning to feel exhausted. Like now, he had half a mind, to turn right back around, and find a random guest room to execute his simple plan in because he simply did not want to deal with her.

There was only so much Emily Thorne he wanted to handle in a day, and he felt his gauge was full. He'd fought with her, argued with her, insulted her, and then at the cocktail party; danced with her, kissed her and laughed with her, all for show. Anymore of her in a day and he'd snap and then who knows what he'd do, kiss her or strangle her maybe.

Quietly, turning back around, hoping to quickly slip out his room before she noticed him, Daniel had one foot out the door, when he heard Emily's sneering voice, "Don't tell me you're running away so soon, and after I purposely sat here waiting for you too".

"Of course not" Daniel replied, as he stepped back inside, turning to face her, "I was just a bit surprised that you were in here. I would have thought that you had learnt your lesson this morning, and known not to enter my room without permission, but if I am to be completely honest, then I was going to give you that permission anyway just to see the look on your face. I knew it would be priceless and it really was. Remind me, I really must properly reintroduce you to Sarah tomorrow."

Emily rolled her eyes, as she warned, "If I were you, I would just enjoy her while she lasts, which won't be long when I start on her."

"She loves me, Emily, a feeling you'll probably never experience again with your heart so cold" Daniel quipped, a short, harsh sounding laugh escaping his throat, "and since she loves me, she won't be leaving my side so easily."

Emily smirked as if amused by his comment, "Love, I wouldn't be too sure about that, I mean, you of all people proved that it wasn't hard for me to get a man to fall blindly in love with me, and unlike you I already have a line of fair admirers, one being that sexy cop that loves to find an excuse to come and visit me". Emily retorted smugly.

"And as for your little bedmate I know something she cares for more. I mean come on Daniel, do you honestly believe that you're her whole world? You don't even love her, you're just using her cheaply anyway, to try get under my skin, and to gain the benefits you know you won't be getting from me... On that note, I have to ask, last night did you enjoy pretending she was me? I hope you didn't slip up and say my name aloud."

Daniel glared at Emily, his thoughts still too much on Sarah to respond quickly to her snip remark. She was right, Emily was right about one thing and that was that he didn't love Sarah, not anymore and as much as he'd tried to fool himself, not even when he had first started the affair with her before the wedding.

The truth was he hadn't loved Sarah since the day he'd stopped thinking about her, and that was before he'd even met Emily. But that didn't mean he didn't need her, he knew it was selfish of him, but he was beyond the point of caring; he needed someone to fill the void, the emptiness he felt inside, he needed a distraction, he needed someone to tell him that they loved him and mean it, or someone to smile when he kissed them, and above all else he needed someone to remind him that he was in fact worth loving and Sarah fit that bill. Did he care for her, yes, but at this point he didn't care enough to stop lying to her about his love. His needs were more important, especially at a time like this, and he'd by lying if he said he didn't enjoy the added benefits Emily had mentioned.

"Why are you even in my room?" Daniel demanded to know, his voice riddled with aggravation, as he walked further inside and towards her.

Holding up a simple cloth garment bag, she handed it to him and said, "I was doing some errands today after the party and so I decided to do you a favor."

"I'm grateful" Daniel said drily, snatching it out of her hands, while wondering what kind of bomb she'd hidden this time.

Placing it flat on his master bed beside where Emily was sitting, he slowly unzipped it from the top down, his eyes first widening in recognition, then in disbelief, as his eyes took in his now unblemished grey jacket, and as much as he didn't want it to, his mind took him back to that day, sparing his heart no pain.

"_Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot" a beautiful blonde women, said embarrassedly, having just spilt her cocktail all over his jacket_

"_Oh don't worry about it, it's probably the universe telling me I need a costume change" he replied charmingly, introducing himself quickly after, "I'm Daniel"_

_There it was her smile, beautiful and radiant at the time, "Emily" she lightly replied._

Shaking his head, trying to get that memory out of his mind, this time around, he could only guess how transparent the pain he felt was. He had thought that he didn't care, that Emily couldn't hurt him anymore, that his heart had turned cold like her own, but he must have been fooling himself for if he really felt those things, then this low blow she'd dealt him would not have phased him, like it did.

* * *

**Flashback**

"Remember how we met?" Daniel asked quietly, as he sat down beside Emily on her wooden bench swing on her porch.

Emily smiled softly, and taking in his calm demeanor a wave of relief seemed to wash over her.

They had just previously had an argument, about how she was or wasn't keeping secrets from Daniel about Jack Porter, and he had been upset with her, feeling as though she hadn't been honest with him.

She had apologized sincerely and then before having fully processed what she was going to say next, her emotions had taken over, nullifying even her tough walls, as she made herself vulnerable and admitted to him that she was just scared. Scared because she was falling in love with him.

Daniel's expression had softened at that and he had looked conflicted, like he wanted to take her in his arms, but at the same time he still hadn't completely shaken the anger he had previously felt, so instead he had quietly left, mumbling that he needed to take a walk.

Emily had gone home after that, a nervous feeling settling into her stomach, as she had quietly reflected over her relationship with him, while hoping that he would come find her later on that evening.

"How could I forget, I spilled my drink all over your jacket" Emily replied softly, laughing ever so lightly as she looked into his eyes and recalled the memory.

He chuckled lightly with her, his eyes looking towards her with love before he quieted down, so his voice was soft and low, "I never had that jacket cleaned."

Emily gazed back at him in surprise, the corners of her lips tugging up into a tiny smile, while her heart slowly soaked up the love she felt from his romantic confession.

Daniel looked bashful as he continued, speaking slowly and sincerely, wanting her to hear every word, "I uh, I hung it in my closet, to remind me that unpredictable moments can change your life if you're ready for them."

He then paused, gazing towards her lovingly, as his warm hand found her own, and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation, for whatever beautiful words would float out of his mouth next.

"I'm ready", he declared without any hesitation, "I'm falling in love with you too".

With those words Emily froze, her mind blanking as the powerful emotions that swept over her engulfed her mind and rendered her speechless, and the only thing she could find herself doing was drawing in a shallow breath as she felt his body slowly lean in to her.

Daniel gently placed his hand on the side of her neck, slowly moving her head closer towards his lips, as he felt her own hand find the comfortable spot towards the back of his head, and as his soft, warm lips made contact with her own, Daniel began to kiss her slowly and passionately, wanting to savour every second of her sweet kiss, and the exquisite taste of her lips.

Reluctantly pulling away for a breath, Daniel couldn't help but smile against them, upon feeling the racing heartbeat of her quickened pulse against his own.

Emily smiled too, feeling lightheaded from his confession of love and the passionate kiss, he'd indulged her with, and feeling suddenly tired, she leaned her body against the steady frame of her lover, feeling a sense of serenity, from sitting there in the arms of Daniel Grayson, with the warm summer night breeze blowing gently against them, as they gazed up into the beautiful night sky, silently wishing on and gazing upon the illuminating stars.

F**lashback End**

* * *

"You know what that meant" Daniel said angrily, his voice low like he was trying to control himself, as he turned to face her.

Emily did know what that jacket meant, it was the jacket Daniel had worn the day they had first met at the summer memorial day party, years ago. She had accidentally spilt her drink all over him, which was how it all started, their chance meeting, their unforgettable summer... and their love, honest and pure as it was at that time.

She hadn't known till later on, but one night, actually the first night, they'd used the word love, Daniel had admitted, that he had kept that stained jacket as a reminder of their love, and how that one unpredictable moment, where her hand had slipped causing her drink to splash over him, had changed their lives. She had never told him this then and as things stood now, she definitely never would, but she had found that to be one of the most romantic gestures anyone had ever done.

So yes, if Emily was to be honest, then it would be a lie to say that the jacket didn't mean anything to her, and yes, she had struggled to do what she did and absolve that romantic gesture from all those years ago, but above all else she wanted him in pain and she knew that erasing the stain from his jacket would do the trick, and magnanimously too, especially because he was generally more sentimental than herself. And in a way, as the sad idea had floated into her mind, she had felt the need to do it as a way to test her own resolve for this so called _mission_. If she refused to do it then that would have been like admitting that she still cared, and that she still wanted to hold on, even if only a little, and she couldn't have that... she just couldn't.

So as Emily had stepped in to the dry cleaners and walked up to the front desk with that grey jacket in her hand, before the nostalgia she still felt could stop her, she had handed it in and paid for it to be cleaned, deciding that it was worth some of her own internal sadness, just to see him hurt more.

Looking back at Daniel in an indifferent manner and thus hiding her true feelings buried deep within, she cuttingly said, "I know, which is why I also know that it's not like you needed the reminder anymore, or the sentiment of our chance meeting... or was I suppose to assume you still cared?... because I didn't."

"You scornful bitch" Daniel growled angrily, his dark angry brown eyes piercing into her own.

Brushing off his sharp remark, Emily continued, "You were wrong Daniel, remember that summer night when you told me that the stained jacket was a reminder to you that unpredictable moments can change your life if you're ready for them. It was never meant to be a reminder for something good, right from the beginning that stained jacket was supposed to be a sign to us, a warning that good things are always tainted."

Catching the impending sadness, and thus vulnerability in her own voice, Emily corrected her manner by scornfully adding, "I wish I had only realized that then, then all those memories we made would be non-existent in my mind, and I would be at peace having never gotten to know you".

Daniel's whole body stiffened at that remark, and he could feel his blood boil in anger from her audacity. Through it all; all the pain, all the anger, all the sadness, he had never, not once wished for the memories they made to disappear.

He had wished for a lot things; that the bad times had never happened, that they had went through with the wedding the first time he proposed and moved to Paris, that he hadn't shot her, that he hadn't loved her so damn much, and recently, that she'd leave him the hell alone, but he had never wished that he had never gotten to know Emily. And even now, as he looked at her, his feelings saturated in hate, he just couldn't bring himself to do it, to wish away the memory of her...even if it meant remembering the bad ones and feeling that pain.

Turning to face her so that his dark blazing eyes, were staring into her cold ones, in his smoldering anger, he heavily slammed down his hand on the bed, making even her flinch as he furiously asked, "So you'd wish away all the good times we had, all the memories we shared...just like that?"

Feeling the intensity of his passion and anger, Emily subtly cast her eyes away from him, looking down at the grey jacket instead, and as her eyes lay focused on the spot where the stain should be, she could hear his question ringing around in her head like an angry alarm, subconsciously trying to force her into thinking of an honest answer.

"You'd wish away all the good times we had, all the memories we shared, just like that?" he repeated again, ever so tensely like he was straining his voice to keep himself from yelling.

"I don't know" she spat out hotly, irritated at the pressure he was emitting out into the air.

If there was a time for her to leave, strategically it would be now, and she'd considered that when her eyes had flickered towards the door. But the tension in the room was so thick at the moment, and his glare so intense, that she feared if she got up then he would grab on to her and pull her back down to where she was sitting, not letting her go until she answered his damn question.

Emily didn't want to be touched by him, she didn't want his rough hands trying to restrain her like he'd done just weeks before against the wall, and this time it would be against the bed, god the bed. Daniel looked too infuriated to try and kiss her like last time...but there was such a thing called angry sex, a strange phenomenon, where somehow the passion felt from anger, got transferred to the bed, and if Daniel started dragging his lips across her body, sending her senses in a wild state of disarray, she couldn't completely vouch for herself, that she'd stop him.

Biting down hard on her lower lip as a way to try and suppress those surfacing thoughts, she looked back at Daniel, and using just as much ferocity in her own voice, said, "Daniel?...Do the good times we had outweigh the bad? Answer my question and only then will I answer yours"

Daniel paused, looking away from her in the hope that not seeing her face and how angry it made him, would help him to think more objectively, though the glare on it never eased out of his expression. Even as a thousand thoughts and memories flashed through his mind, both good and bad_._

_Their first date, her walls, the proposal, calling off the wedding, getting back together, the stress, the wine auction, the accusations, the wedding, the shooting, the guilt, the love, the fights, the hate._

"I don't know" he murmured bitterly, not being able to settle on a solid answer, as much as he wanted to.

"You don't know?" Emily persisted,

"I don't know" he repeated snappily, raking his fingers angrily through his dark brown hair in frustration.

Emily didn't know either and she had been struggling with the answer to this question for a long while now. She'd been on the fence and on either side of it, but she could never settle on a definite side, a resolute answer.

"Your turn" Daniel persisted still seething, as his angry eyes bore into hers, "Would you wish away all the good times we had, all the memories we shared, if it meant not feeling this pain?"

Emily paused for a brief second, it would be in her nature, to lie and say yes, just to further hurt him, but for some reason she felt a sort of disposition to be honest. Maybe because like Daniel, she saw the importance of the question, or maybe just because she knew she had no definite answer, and therefore that telling the truth would give him no solace.

"I don't know" Emily simply replied.

Their questions were intertwined, tangled together like two strands of thread and to successfully sort them out, it was easier to start untangling one strand of thread first, before tackling the other. But she couldn't do that, her question was left out in the open, and she needed the answer to it, to answer his own question.

For example; if the bad times outweighed the good, then she would wish away all her memories of Daniel, in order to free herself from the shackles of pain.

But if the good times outweighed the bad then she wasn't sure that she could wish away all her memories, to free herself from the pain that eventually one day she'd get over. Not if it meant sacrificing her good memories. It wasn't like she had a lot in the first place, from childhood to young adulthood there was a big gap in her happy memories, due to her parent's death and her shuffle around the unjust foster care system. So to wish away the ones she made with Daniel, for the chance to get rid of the bad memories, which were painful, but which she had less of, it was a tough decision...one she was thankful she didn't have to make.

Not understanding that Emily had indeed thought about it, and answered honestly, Daniel's glare deepened even further, and he sharply said, his voice raised in anger, "You didn't even think about it!"

Emily merely shrugged her shoulders, her lips curling up into a little smirk. She could explain to him that she had in fact thought about it but it gave her such thrills to wind him up and he was so close to blowing his fuse too. So instead, she stared up into his dark angry eyes, looking back at him unwaveringly, and said, "What a keen observation".

Well that did it...

Grabbing her arms roughly, Daniel yanked her off his bed where she'd been sitting, and growled, "Get out of my god damn room Emily", his angry voice booming loudly as she found her feet and began to walk away.

"With pleasure" Emily quipped.

"And Emily"

She was right at the door now, but she turned around anyway, pivoting on her fancy high heels, as she faced her fuming husband, only to see his expensive grey jacket, flying towards her at a forceful speed.

As she messily caught it in her hands, Daniel finished off by saying, "Do whatever the hell you want with this jacket, stained, or unstained, it means nothing, absolutely nothing!"

"Fine, I will" Emily replied indifferently, shutting the door behind her, as she finally exited his room.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it feels like such a while since I've put a new chapter out =D. On that note thank you to all the people that commented on the last chapter and /or the previous chapters.**

**Question of the chapter (cause I feel like having one): What do you think Emily's going to do with his grey jacket? a)Secretly keep it herself b)Secretly put it back in the back of his closet c)Give it away to someone or d)Throw it away**

**Have a good weekend, and may we all be blessed with great post valentines day sales xD**


	13. Chapter 13- Drunken Passion

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Drunken Passion**

"You just had to wear red, guess I'll be betting on black for the night" Daniel said with an arrogant smirk on his handsome face as he walked up towards Emily who was exquisitely dressed in a beautiful long ruby red colored dress, which she wore more perfectly than he wanted to admit. He himself was well dressed too, in his simple but fancy black and white suit.

Emily only rolled her eyes, "You're late" she hissed, not even trying to mask the look of disdain plastered across her face. "You knew full well the event started at nine pm, it's now quarter past ten."

Daniel shrugged his shoulders, and took a sip of alcohol, from the glass of liquor in his hand, "You're lucky I'm even here at all" he said dismissively, as his eyes took in his surroundings. It was just another extravagant Hampton's style charity event that Emily had organized, jazzing it up by using the theme _Monte Carlo Casino Night_.

"And you're lucky you're not in jail," Emily retorted, keeping her voice low, for there were many flocking socialites around, "just remember that you're my husband Daniel"

Saying that last part, with a sickly sweet smile strewn across her face, she took a step closer towards him, looping her arm through his own, "You know the rules, now play your part, or else it's no fun" she muttered under her breath, as she began to walk around with her husband on her arm, happily conversing with many of her guests as she circled the large hall.

* * *

A few hours later, deciding that she deserved a little break from it all; both Daniel and the continued stress of running her event and keeping her guests entertained, Emily slithered over to the bar table, thankful that she'd selected only the best of wines and liquors to be served for her guests.

Sitting down elegantly on the expensive bar stool, Emily turned her head to see a familiar face beside her. "Officer Hunter" she said in greeting, smiling at him genuinely, her first real smile in hours.

He smiled back at her, his eyes inadvertently lighting up, "Emily, I was wondering when I was going to bump in to you, I wanted to thank you first hand for the invite. It's not really my usual scene but it's nice to do something different, and it gave me an excuse to add some wear to this suit that had just been sitting in my closet for ages." Pausing, he then quickly added, "and please just call me Ben."

It wasn't the first time that he'd asked her that, but being that they were in a more social setting, she felt more obliged to do so.

"Well then Ben" she said slowly, "The suit looks good on you... and it's nice not to see you in your uniform, you look less intimidating"

Ben chuckled, "I wouldn't say that I'm intimidating" he replied, "I'm just a normal, nice guy".

If anything he thought Emily was the intimidating one, she was beautiful, she was intelligent, she was kind, and there was just something about her... he couldn't put his finger on it but she just looked forever in control.

Emily smiled, "Well you know what you're getting with normal and nice" she responded lightly, "and there's something nice about that."

She wished she could be normal and nice, and that she could leave Daniel and eventually settle down with a good man... live a normal peaceful life... and have kids, but apparently that was too much to ask for, so here she was stuck in the constant turbulent chaos she'd created with her fated lover.

"What's the matter?" Ben asked tentatively, having noticed her smile falter, and seen a sad expression flash across her beautiful face.

"What –um, nothing" she said quickly, feeling almost startled, that he'd sensed her discontent. She wasn't used to the men around her being so observant of her.

Ben nodded his head gently, changing the subject, as he said, "What an amazing event though Emily, I'm no expert, but I would say this is a huge success. I can only imagine the type of money you've been able to raise tonight for your cause."

Emily smiled and nodded her head, "Yes, thank you, though I can't help but wonder how many donations were genuine and how many were given just to prove one's wealth."

"I can't tell you that, but you can be assured that mine was genuine" Ben said honestly, his deep brown eyes gazing into hers.

"Thank you" Emily replied softly, a fresh wave of guilt washing over her from knowing how much she was playing him tonight. Ben was a very nice guy, his only fault being that he had developed feelings for her, a fault that she was cruelly monopolizing, in order to further anger Daniel through stirring up feelings of jealousy within him.

It was only a matter of time, before Daniel would come back waltzing towards the bar for another refill of whatever liquor could get him through his dreadful night, and when he did, to see Ben flirting so publically with Emily, and to see her responding, well she had high confidence that even though his feelings for her were no longer of love, it would really set him off.

So wickedly, she was toying with Ben's feelings but what did it matter when her soul was already bound to hell anyway?

"I'm hoping that all this work you've put into this event, means that you're on your way to becoming fully recovered?" Ben asked tentatively, hoping that her gun wounds were no longer causing her such pain.

Emily nodded her head, "I'm hoping so too" she murmured, as she motioned across the table to the bartender.

"What would you like Mrs. Grayson?" the bartender asked politely,

Emily glanced at Ben before turning back towards the bartender, "I'll have what he's drinking" she responded.

"Even the host should be able to have a drink, shouldn't she?" Emily asked lightly, turning to Ben as the Bartender poured her drink and slid it across to her.

Ben chuckled, "Of course, you're the one who did the most work, and being the host doesn't mean you can't have a bit of fun, and a bit of alcohol"

Emily laughed, "What does being the host mean then?"

"Being the host means that you're the one in the most beautiful dress" Ben responded earnestly, "or it does when it applies to you, you look stunning Emily, you really do."

Emily's eyes widened in surprised, and she smiled feeling truly touched from his compliment; it had been a while since she'd heard any, especially like that. "You're too sweet" she murmured, her meaning behind it all the literal.

Whether purposefully or inadvertently, Ben leant in closer towards her, his deep brown eyes gazing at her too fondly for it to be considered a friendly glance. "No, I mean it, I think you're beautiful Emily" he said softly.

"Ben... I" but before she could respond, he closed the gap between them and impulsively pressed his soft lips against her own.

* * *

"You must be so proud of your wife, she's still recovering from that horrifying shooting and yet she still found the strength to organize this extravagant event and raise money for her charity."

Daniel nodded his head, and forced a fake smile on his face, "Yes she can do no wrong" he said sarcastically, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Not sensing the cynicism behind his comment, the guest in front of him smiled back, chuckling lightly, which quickly faded and turned into a nervous type, as she quietly said, "Except maybe kiss another guy at this event"

Daniel turned his head towards where the women was looking to see the infuriating sight of Emily's lips pressed up against another man's...correction Officer Hunter's. Did it make him sad? No. But it sure as hell made him want to rip them apart and claim his blonde haired beauty, solely for the purpose of establishing both to the lustful men out there, that Emily was his, and to Emily herself that because of her god damn malevolence and obstinacy, they were still tethered to each other like two chains of a faulty lock, and therefore that he wouldn't let her get away with doing what she wanted.

"Excuse me" he muttered hotly, as he began to briskly walk towards the two culprits of his clearly provoked anger. At least they were by the bar he thought with dark humour, then he could kill two birds with one stone; sort them out and refill his glass with liquor.

* * *

Pulling away from Ben, Emily put on her best surprised face, as she shyly looked up into his dazed eyes.

"I'm sorry" he murmured softly, an apologetic tone to his voice, "I guess it's no surprise now that I've developed feelings for you, but I shouldn't have kissed you that wasn't right, you're married and now I've probably put you in a bad position...and in front of all these people too" he said feeling eyes on the both them, "Your kiss was amazing but I shouldn't have stolen it from you without permission".

Staring into Ben's sincere brown eyes was making Emily feel genuinely guilty, so she averted her eyes downwards towards her glass. She was the one who had purposefully lead him on, and let him kiss her, and yet he was the one who was apologizing. It made her feel sick to think, that she could so easily toy with other people now, without her conscience, or her heart or whatever sense of goodness in her stopped her. And not only would Ben get the rath of Daniel who was quickly approaching, but when news of the kiss got out, it was also highly likely that he would get reprimanded at work for it, because as one of the police officers in charge of her case, she doubted that was allowed.

"I'm not mad at you, I was just surprised" Emily said softly, looking back up into his eyes with honesty, she then quickly added, "You should go though, Daniels coming, and I don't want him to take his anger out on you."

Ben shook his head firmly, thinking the same thing for her, so instead of letting Daniel come to the bar table where he'd be face to face with Ben, instead Emily stood up and walked over to Daniel, hoping to steer him clear of the innocent victim.

It was the least she could do after all, but as bad as she felt for Ben, as she approached Daniel she couldn't help the smirk that slipped onto her face, as he glared at her in anger or the way she antagonized him further by whispering "I could get used to kisses like his".

Expecting Daniel to retort with some cutting remark his voice oozing in fury and disgust, she was surprised when instead he walked straight past her, ignoring her completely to get towards his designated target, who had just picked up his glass of scotch.

Knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop it, Emily watched, wincing as Daniel's fist smashed heavily into Ben's jaw, and although Ben was tough enough that it didn't knock him off the stool, you could tell from the impact of it that it would leave his face sore for days.

"Find your own god damn wife to kiss" Daniel muttered indignantly to him before he walked back towards Emily with a satisfied smirk on his face, "she's mine!"

Wrapping his arm around her waist as he forcefully steered her away from the crowd and an injured Ben, he whispered into her ear, "How's that for acting like your husband?"

"You cruel bastard" Emily hissed disgusted, as she tried to subtly move his arm away from her, without making it look like she couldn't stand to be beside her husband.

"Says the one who used the poor guy, to try and make me jealous" Daniel retorted, "What did you expect to happen, Emily? That he wouldn't get hurt...No you knew he'd get hurt but you just didn't care. You're no better than me, we both use people without giving a damn about who gets hurt in the process."

"That's not who I am" Emily mumbled, not even confidant in her own words.

"Oh but it is" he said smirking, "which is why I punched him...to show you the truth."

"You did it for your own sick satisfaction" Emily retorted, "Like I did when I got rid of Sarah" Emily added just to rub salt in his wounds, "though that pathetic women you could say was guilty."

As promised, she had gotten rid of Sarah the day after she'd found her in Daniel's bed. It had been quite a fun little task for her, one that took next to no effort at all. All she'd had to do was call Sarah's mother and inform her that her daughter, was being a so called '"homewrecker", and then after she'd flown Mrs. Munello over, all she'd had to do was stand back and watch as Sarah got heavily reprimanded for it from her disgusted mother. That was all it had taken for Sarah's resolve to stay with Daniel to crumble, and so much to his bitterness and her own satisfaction, Sarah had left that very day.

Ignoring the Sarah comment, though his face couldn't help but twitch in irritation, Daniel shook his head and replied, "I did it to make you feel guilty, a powerful weapon that you chose to wield over me for a long time, so you know the advantages of using it."

Guiding her away from the main event and down into one of the empty hallways, where their view was completely obscured from others he finally let go of her and smugly said, "there's more than one way to crush you Emily, don't be so surprised."

"I'm not surprised" she said honestly, her eyes flickering up into his with a painful emptiness "nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to you and what you'll do to hurt me."

Daniel glared at her, he knew what she was doing...that feeling that parasite inside of him, she was calling to it, trying to wake it up from its sleep so that it could feast on him all over again, if not for forever than at least for a moment.

He refused to let it, to be played by her once again, just because the tone of her voice softened, and the look in her brown eyes showed some emotion other than hatred.

"I hate you Emily" he whispered harshly, staring at her with an angry darkness.

"I know" she replied simply, taking a step closer towards him as she said so.

Emily was throwing him off balance, making him nervous, he hated that, how she could change so easily, how well she was at it, how she always seemed to be able to play him in one way or another, if she just changed her stance or composure.

"You know Daniel..." she said slowly as she took a couple more steps towards him until she was right in front of him, right in his line of view, where she could perfectly stare into his dark brown eyes, unfazed by the hatred she saw reflected back at her.

"What?" he said coldly.

"I have this reoccurring dream, where we're standing much like how we are now and you take your hands" grabbing them she felt him shiver, probably from how cold her hands really were, "and you lift them up to my neck" she said, doing just that with his hands, controlling them by the wrist, as she placed them gently against her neck. "and then you wrap them around and squeeze my throat, until I'm struggling desperately for a breath, until I'm..."

"Shut up!" Daniel growled angrily, not wanting to hear the ending of her horror story, as his hands rocketed down from her neck, before she could demonstrate in spite, "Just please" he added his voice low and tense like he was trying not to shout. He felt horrified, sick to his stomach of the image she'd placed into his mind, the image she'd allegedly dreamt of.

Like he could ever do that to her.

Emily's lips curled up into a smirk, her eyes boring into his with a look that knew she won, "You feel sick yet?" she asked cruelly.

Glaring at her in disbelief, Daniel grabbed her firmly, not enough to hurt her but enough to startle her, to wake her up, as her back hit the cold wall she'd been pressed against, "What the fuck is wrong with you, that story's not funny Emily, it's disgusting." he said angrily, his voice unintentionally raised in the twisted way she'd made him feel.

"I'm not laughing" she responded sharply, not even bothering to try and get out of her position, for a small part of her couldn't help but enjoy the weight of his body against hers, or the heat from his body scathing her.

"You smirked" Daniel shouted accusingly, his hot breathe settling against her skin, as he angrily glared at her and asked, "Were you not horrified when you made up this sick story?"

This time Emily glared back at him as she indignantly replied, "I wasn't lying when I said it was a dream, Daniel!" A dream that haunted Emily, and made her toss and turn at night, a dream that sometimes woke her up in a cold sweat, or made her shake awake gasping deeply for air...but she wasn't going to tell him that.

"The truth is I loved you, you shot me and now I have nightmares where you kill me, don't be so surprised?" she said caustically, her voice raised in anger, and her eyes dark with hatred.

"Emily I..."

"Shut up" Emily shouted, her body quaking with anger, as she lifted her hand and clasped it tightly over his mouth, "it doesn't matter how many times you say it, it doesn't help."

But he had to say something, Daniel thought, as he pulled her hand from his mouth.

Clasping her firmly by the wrists, Daniel then lifted both her hands above her head, having to restrain them to be able to get his words out. "I'm sorry Emily, I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that I shot you, I'm sorry that because of me you can't have kids" his voice cracked the most at that apology and he'd had to force himself to hold her gaze, despite the unbearable guilt he felt, and the way her eyes had flickered emulating such pain, but still he continued, "I'm sorry that I'm such a disgusting husband...and I'm sorry that to get my apologies out I have to hold you like this."

Squeezing back the tears that had caused her eyes to water, Emily shook her head furiously, as if to say that she wasn't accepting his apology, and as he slowly let go of her arms, she used her new found freedom in them to slap him harshly across his face. "I hate you" she whispered piercingly, as the sting of her slap echoed across the hallway and left a sore looking red mark to appear on his cheek, "I really..."

But before she could finish her sentence, Daniel pressed his lips roughly against her own, absolving the last of her words with the domination of her mouth. "I don't hate you" he whispered back, in a quick harsh breath, finally being honest with both himself, and Emily for the first time in a long while.

Watching as her angry brown eyes widened in surprise, before Emily could even respond, Daniel had hungrily placed his lips back against her own, trying to weaken her sense of resolve, with the ferventness of his kiss.

"Get off of me" Emily yelled infuriated, shoving him away from her, as she finally managed to tear her lips away from his own, though it left them moist and stinging.

Daniel didn't say anything; he just wrapped his arms around her slender waist, and leant back in towards her, as if to say, _it's okay to give in_, his nearing lips causing her breath to hitch in hidden anticipation. He wanted Emily and badly...desperately, he wanted her lips, her touch, he wanted to feel her desire, her passion...but most of all, he wanted her closeness; to feel a sense of intimacy with her, with the women he'd loved. He knew it was beyond selfish considering how much pain he'd caused her, but a part of him couldn't help but feel like maybe deep down she wanted it too, and another part of him couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she did give in.

She couldn't Emily thought obstinately, not wanting to give in to Daniel; Daniel who had hurt her, Daniel who had shot her, Daniel who had rendered her infertile...Daniel who she had fought against for two whole months now! She wouldn't.

She refused.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

It wasn't even the feeling of his toned body pressing up against her that did it, or the way that his hot breath had settled onto her skin, maddening her already sensitive senses. She couldn't explain what it was exactly, but it had felt like all her conflicting emotions surrounding him, both on the surface and deep within, had suddenly burst open, exploding powerfully like a rumbling volcano, and in not being able to contain it all, to process it, one very dangerous thing had happened, and that was that all her emotions had gotten converted into one simple feeling... passion, a fervent passion, and so as Daniel pressed his lips softly this time against her own , wanting to probe her gently into responding, Emily did respond and fervently, her cheeks stained with a fierce red blush.

Daniel grinned against her lips, weaving his hands through her golden mane, as he kissed her again and again and again, until he tore his lips away pressing them instead on the smooth curve of her neck. Daring to go lower he then caused a small sound of pleasure to escape her lips as his own lips moved closer towards her chest.

He missed this, he missed her...

"Emily, be with me" he moaned against her skin, the small reverberation she felt from it playing pleasurably with her senses.

This was wrong on so many levels and unbelievably twisted, Emily knew that, and she knew that she shouldn't grant him it, what he wanted, but she was so tired of trying to repress it all, and giving in to his desires...no giving in to her own, felt intoxicating, and in that intoxication she felt free, like all that made her think, all that caused her trouble was finally hazed out. So even if she wanted to, she didn't think that she could bring herself to pull away from him, it was just too strong; their desire, their lust, their sense of longing...their fluttered disarray of complicated emotions spilling over as drunken passion.

Fumbling with the buttons on Daniel's shirt, Emily slowly nodded her head "Just for tonight" she whispered, gasping in exhilaration as she felt her red dress being slowly unzipped from the back.

* * *

**I know it's been a while, but I'm back and with a fantastic chapter... or at least I think so, please comment if you agree =D**

**On that note, I want to thank all the people who've been commenting recently, I've received some really nice encouraging ones, so thank you.**

**Next Chapter: Will Emily and Daniel begin to resolve their issues? Or did having sex just add more fuel to their fire?**


	14. Chapter 14- He Wasn't Asking

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

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**Chapter 14: He Wasn't Asking**

"Can we stop this now?" Daniel pleaded, his voice echoing quietly in the empty hallway. The hallway where they'd fought and kissed, and where he'd just guiltily, though not regretfully made love to her.

He shouldn't have, that he knew for a fact, Emily wasn't his to touch anymore, not when he no longer held her heart and definitely not when he was the one who had ruined it. The one who had caused the darkness to creep in, and allowed the cold to crystallize her fractured heart.

It was shameless of him... undignified for him to have kissed her like he had, and to have touched her; caressing her skin and enjoying the feel of her flawless body against his own. But even knowing that he'd still done it, telling himself that it was okay to give in, that it was okay to let his passion override his rationale, and that it was okay to try entice Emily into doing the same.

Emily was supposed to be the stronger one though, she was supposed to say NO, to push him away, to NOT succumb to the irrationality of it all...but she had, she had foolishly given in, leaving him no choice but to greedily take her and give in to his no longer suppressed desire to lustfully have her, and it was wonderful to feel one with her again, to hear her moan in pleasure beneath him and to moan and pant himself as his body rocked against hers, and it was beautiful to feel the sensations only she could make him feel and to find his mind floating back to that euphoric place built specially for them, a place he'd thought had long been destroyed.

But what he truly loved most, even more than all of those things was being able to finally feel something between the two of them and their troubled souls. Something other than the feelings of hate, anger, spite and bitterness that they'd been constantly spitting back at each other since that night.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking but he hoped that Emily had felt the same and that she'd soon come to realize that it was time for a truce.

"Emily" Daniel murmured, having just finished buttoning up the last of his buttons foregoing the bow that he knew he'd have trouble putting on by himself anyway and worse without a mirror.

Emily was dressed again too, looking stunning in her beautiful red dress, and really quite sexy with her tousled blonde hair.

As soon as she had come to her senses, Emily had pushed him right off of her, not a single word coming from her tight lipped mouth as she had quickly gotten re-dressed again, a good distance away from him by the bench.

Daniel couldn't say that surprised him though, he wasn't blinded, he knew that when Emily had kissed him back, it wasn't because she had suddenly stopped hating him, but because she had lost control of her own emotions, letting them slip in the wrong moment and then getting carried away by the overwhelming complexity of them all.

He could only imagine what she was feeling right now; the shame, anger, frustration and confusion from what they'd done was probably tearing her stubborn little soul apart. Maybe that's what she needed though, to internalize all her thoughts and feelings towards him and to finally consider looking towards a resolution.

Emily ignored him from where she sat on the bench, a glare on her face even as she faced away from him towards the wall. Her slender semi-exposed back was facing towards him though and as she frustratingly struggled with fully zipping up the back of her dress. Daniel slowly walked towards her, placing his hand on her back shoulder, which caused her body to naturally tense up from his unwanted touch.

"Here I'll do it" he murmured helpfully, as he gently shifted her soft blonde hair towards her front so that it wouldn't get caught in the zipper before slowly guiding the pull on the zip back up her dress.

Though she allowed it, this little action only proved to irritate Emily even further though, which he could immediately tell when she angrily stood up and turned to face him. "No, we can't stop this Daniel!" she said sharply, though the volume in her voice remained low.

"Why?"

Emily's eyes bore into Daniels, "You stole my children" she replied tensely, her voice straining not to shout in her anger. "and every time I think about it, about what I lost...because of you I..."

"I know and I'm not telling you not to hate me!" Daniel said firmly, interrupting her mid sentence with his voice raised loud to get her attention, "I am just saying that this needs to stop, it's dragged on long enough. I can see it in your eyes Emily, in your whole composure, you're exhausted; of fighting, of hating, of putting on facades...of feeling this pain."

"You can't speak for me" Emily replied angrily, her dark brown eyes looking into his with indignation though she knew he was right, "I am much more resilient than you" .

"Maybe...but you're not invincible, you're only human, Emily...that you proved when you gave in to me" Daniel retorted.

Emily glared at him fiercely, "You gave in to me" she replied hotly.

Daniel shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "It doesn't matter who gave in to who because I got what I wanted."

"My body" Emily muttered angrily, infuriated by his arrogance.

Daniel frowned and shook his head, "I got to feel something between us, something other than the feelings of hate and anger that we've been constantly trying to hurt each other with."

Emily scoffed in disdain, trying to mask the fact that despite her attempt to keep the expression on her face rigid, his seemingly sincere words had indeed softened it. And feeling suddenly trapped and not knowing how to respond, Emily turned on her heels and began to briskly walk away, "I should get back to the event, I am the host after all." She replied curtly.

* * *

After slipping away from Daniel, having averted another dangerous conversation, one that she knew could have had the potential to make her crack in the current state she was in. Emily had known that before she could will herself to re-enter the bustling happy crowd of her event, she'd need a few long quiet minutes to herself. So choosing the restroom farthest away from the event with the hopes that nobody would be using it, Emily had quickly walked inside.

Emily had gone in there wanting to regain her composure but even for her that was something easier said than done. Daniel was right she was slipping, her strength, her resolve, her energy...god she was tired, so very tired, she just wanted to fall into a nice long peaceful sleep and wake up when it was finally nice again. Sadly that's not how life worked though and as Emily walked up to the marbled counter-tops, and saw herself...her reflection in the mirror, for the first time in a long time she really felt a desire to cry. She longed for it, to be able to let her tears flow freely from her eyes, but her own internal stubbornness was fighting against that desire, and as she stared ashamedly at her reflection in the mirror, she'd found her eyes hadn't even watered.

If they had though, maybe she could have been spared the intensified feelings of shame, anger, and sadness. That way her tears would have blurred her vision and therefore the sad reflection she would have seen of herself in the mirror.

But that wasn't the case though and so as Emily re-applied her makeup, and tried to re-style her tousled blonde hair into something more poised, her mind was still on the sore topic of him; split between the hatred she needed to feel for him and the bit of doubt in her mind that wondered whether a small part of her was actually fighting against the rest of herself, wanting to forgive him...or at the very least call a truce like he wanted.

"Are you alright? You look rather pale" a sweet concerned sounding voice said, the harmonious noise echoing throughout the restroom as the red-headed woman the voice belonged to stepped inside, the door shutting with a soft bang behind her.

Emily cursed silently in her head, wanting only to be alone, and looking into the mirror using it's reflective powers to eye the culprit who'd walked through the door and caught her feeling down, Emily nodded her head, "I'm fine thank you" she said softly, trying to mask her unrest.

Sensing the skeptical eye of the woman in front of her, Emily then added, "I just have a bit of headache", though much to her dismay, the red head still took the liberty of further approaching her.

"I'm Louise Ellis" the woman said introducing herself in her charming southern drawl and with a friendly smile to match.

Emily had heard that name before, if her facts were correct then Louise Ellis was from an affluent family in the South and was the younger sister of a politician. Despite her current mood, Emily smiled back politely, before introducing herself. Though being affiliated with the Grayson's, she'd learnt long ago when she had first started dating Daniel that people quickly found out and remembered your name.

Louise nodded her head, "Yes, of course" she murmured knowingly, "Daniel Grayson's wife"

"Yes I suppose I am" Emily replied, trying to keep her voice light, and the cringe of contempt off her face. She had purposely left out saying any surname because although through marriage she'd attained the Grayson name, she didn't want it and she definitely did not want to be reminded of it.

Sighing inwardly to herself, Emily grabbed her clutch from the marbled counter and began to walk towards the door, irritated by the fact that her moment of solitude had been interrupted.

"Emily" Louise called out, sounding hesitant as she saw the blonde slowly turn back around, her manicured hand still on the door handle a sign that she wanted to leave. Sensing this and Emily's impatience, Louise took a deep breath before looking into Emily's intimidating brown eyes and boldly saying, "He misses you a lot...Nolan. He's worried about you, says that you're hurting yourself being with Daniel. That you're..."

Emily cut her off, her eyes sharpening in a look of irritation, as she replied, "I'm guessing you're his girlfriend."

Louise nodded her head, feeling as though she finally had Emily's full attention, though she wasn't sure that was such a good thing. She was usually quite good at reading people, but even without her good intuition, she could tell that Emily was quite the intimidating women.

"Nolan has a good heart, he's kind and he's loyal" Emily said honestly, her fierce brown eyes staring into Louise's, as if searching to see if she could place her trust in her, "I won't forgive you if you hurt him and you do not want to make an enemy out of me." Emily said warningly, as she opened the door, ready to exit.

"In all fairness, you're the one who's hurting him Emily. You're shutting him out... he says you've changed." Louise replied softly, but resolutely, feeling the need to get those words out for the one she loved.

Emily tensed up, not wanting to hear those words right now, and especially not through someone like Louise, who only knew what she'd been told about her life. "Well I have changed" Emily responded bristly as she quickly walked through the door and back into the busy crowd, making sure to put back up her best party facade.

* * *

Picking up his glass of scotch, from where he sat purposely alone and at the end of the bar stool, Daniel put the toxic liquid to his lips and took a slow deliberate sip, feeling as though he needed it to help him cope with Emily, though contrarily knowing that the alcohol had never actually helped him...in fact it had done the opposite for it was in his intoxicated state that he had done far more damage.

Sighing in frustration, Daniel put the glass back down on the bar counter for he knew that if he wanted to pound through Emily's steely composure tonight, then he needed to do it while he was at least mildly sober. If he wasn't then his drunken efforts would only create more of a mess...and that he did not want.

He just wanted to put this behind him...to put Emily behind him.

**Flashback**

"Daniel, enough, no more movies" Emily said lightly, as she took the TV remote out of his hands. "My eyes can't take anymore TV, what was that our fourth movie?"

The two of them were snuggled up on her couch together, feeling warm and happy in the simple yet refreshing presence of one another.

Daniel chuckled, as he nodded his head, "and weren't they entertaining?"

"Hmm" Emily murmured, "I wouldn't really know, you talked through all of them."

"Did I?"

Emily only laughed, as she untangled herself from Daniels arms, and stood up needing to stretch.

Needless to say they were having a lazy day. The two of them had woken up in the morning to hear the steady downfall of rain outside their window, and when the curtains had been opened, to see the grey cloudy sky cast over the rumbling ocean; a rather infrequent backdrop for summer in the Hampton's. Never the less it was seen every once in a while, and feeling the need to take advantage of the rather uninviting weather, Emily and Daniel did just that by happily cancelling all their meetings and plans for the day so that they could stay inside together.

This seemed practical right? They weren't Londoners, they didn't know how to weather the rain...or well that was the excuse they were going to tell themselves if it meant getting to spend a whole day together undisturbed by the daily doings of life.

Grabbing her by the waist, Daniel playfully pulled Emily back down on to the sofa, tickling her sides, until in her uncontrollable laughter she stopped resisting, giving him the delicious opportunity to pin her slender body beneath him.

"Daniel" she moaned, in feigned protest to his underhand ways of getting her in that position.

Daniel only smirked, as he lowered his head towards her, placing his lips against her own, causing her to lose the breath she'd only just caught back.

"You know" he murmured lovingly, guiding his lips towards her ear where he whispered, "You have one of the loveliest laughs I've ever heard, I need to make you laugh more."

Emily blushed despite herself, whispering, "I laugh though"

"Yeah" Daniel said smiling at her, as his hand brushed tenderly against her cheek, "but not like this, not so uncontrolled, so blissfully."

Emily smiled at him softly, "Well...I'm happy Daniel" she assured him with twinkling eyes.

"I'm happy too" he murmured as he began to lower his lips towards her, but just before his lips could capture her own, Emily used his own move against him and attacked the weak spot of his sides, tickling him relentlessly and causing him to squirm around in bursts of laughter. Not willing to let that slip, Daniel felt for her sides too, until the both of them were a tangled laughter of mess on the sofa, both fighting for control.

Smirking at him seductively, a glint of victory in her eyes, as she succeeded in straddling him beneath her. Emily slowly bit her lip, an action she knew aroused him, as she leant down into him, her wavy blonde hair falling against his face, which he had to gently run his fingers through to hold it back, as she fervently pressed her supple lips against his own.

**Flashback END**

* * *

"Where's Emily?"

Looking up from his glass of scotch, from where he purposefully sat isolated at the end of the bar stool, Daniel sighed in frustration when he turned to find himself face to face with a hostile looking Nolan Ross.

Daniel had never understood Emily's relationship with Nolan, even when the two of them were in a good place. He'd always found Nolan a little too eccentric and a little too "out there" for his own personal preference. That wasn't to say that he didn't like the guy though, he just struggled with understanding how Emily and Nolan, who seemed like two completely different people had managed to form a bond so strong.

Daniel had asked her one time, after a dinner the three of them had eaten together years ago. He still remembered, it was after the stylish, savvy blond had left, that Emily had sat down beside him in front of the fireplace, and tried explaining how Nolan Ross fit into her past, mentioning all he had helped her through.

He had admired Nolan for that; for his loyalty to her and for his love. In fact, even then he had been jealous of it, of how close they seemed and of how much he seemed to know her; all of her, both what she showed to the world and what she hid to herself. He had wanted that with Emily, he really had...now he just wanted her to admit that them fighting was pointless and that it was best for the both of them if they parted.

"I don't know" Daniel muttered coolly, shrugging his shoulders dejectedly, as he begrudgingly took another sip of his drink.

Nolan looked back at him in disgust, "Do you take pleasure in hurting her, or is just your natural instinct now...to cause her harm?"

"I am trying to end this!" Daniel said defensively, his voice rising in a serious tone as he looked Nolan fiercely in the eyes.

Nolan shook his head in disbelief, "Really" he said sarcastically, "It sure looked like that tonight with you trying to knock out the guy who showed innocent interest in her, and then grabbing her by the arm and taking her to god knows where, to what shout at her, threaten her? Who knows with you, I mean if you can shoot her on your wedding day then, I shudder to think what you can do to her on a normal day."

Daniel's eyes darkened in anger, feeling incredibly incensed by what Nolan was insinuating, and standing up from the bar stool, needing to face Nolan from a fair height, Daniel indignantly replied, "You can't stand here and pretend that you understand the fucked up relationship that me and Emily are in because you have no clue! Yes I hurt her and what I did was cruel and unforgivable, I know that better than anyone else, and I never wanted to cause Emily more pain. But she chose to stay, to invoke madness into my already messy life, to ruin me, and there's only so many jabs one can take until they have to fight back."

Daniel's voice lowered even further, and the hostility in it faded as he continued and said, "I don't want this, I never wanted this! I wanted to be able to move on, to work towards repairing myself and redeeming myself for what I had done... and believe it or not I wanted her to heal and eventually to settle down with someone who truly loved her and showed that in ways I failed to do, I wanted her to find peace. I still want that, I am trying to end this here, but she's the one fighting to steady her resolve."

"What do you expect" Nolan replied bitterly, his whole body tense with anger, "Emily's a fighter, she always has been, and she takes her pain and uses it as her fuel, that's how she copes. For you, the pain you caused her is insurmountable, and so the fuel she holds is never-ending. All she wanted, all she's ever wanted since her parents died was a place she could call home, a place she could settle down and be at peace, and as she got older a place she could raise a family of her own. You stole that from her, you gave her a glimpse, you gave her hope and then you ripped that away from her in the cruelest way possible...you broke her apart piece by piece, and now she doesn't want to let you go until she's done the same to you."

Daniel shook his head slowly a pained expression coming through on his face, as he whispered, "I'm already dead inside though".

"Well thanks to you, so is she" Nolan replied resentfully, refusing to give the man in front of him even the slightest glint of sympathy, "and unlike you, she does not deserve that fate." With that Nolan quickly began to slip away, not wanting to be in the presence of the man who had tortured someone he called family.

"Nolan!" Daniel quickly called out, not feeling finished with the conversation yet, not when he had one last thing he needed to say.

Sensing that Nolan who was clearly in earshot had indeed heard him but choose to ignore him, Daniel called out his name again, angrier this time as he quickened his step so that he was directly in front of the stylish blonde, and once he had demanded Nolan's attention, Daniel solidly say, "I have tried talking to Emily, I have apologized all I could and I have tried getting through to her, but she's ... I can see it in her eyes, she's tired, she wants to end this, but like you said, her pain is fueling her resolve to resist and because of what I stole from her, she has a lot of it. I honestly do not know how to direct that pain into a different place, but I feel as though if anyone can get through to her, then it's you."

He wasn't asking, Daniel could never bring himself to ask Nolan for help. Call it his pride or whatever, but it didn't feel right to ask someone who despised him, for help dealing with someone who was ultimately his own deserved burden to bear. However for the sake of that someone and for the heavy burden weighing down on his tired soul, he had to put it out there.

"I know" Nolan replied resolutely.

He'd had enough of Emily's sick games and what they were doing to her, and he knew that listening was not her strong point, but he had come to this event tonight with the full intent of forcing her to listen to him, whether she liked it or not.

* * *

**I hope many of you enjoyed this chapter, it took quite a while to write, and with lots of little changes but I did it...hooray. I know not too much really happened in terms of Emily and Daniel interactions, but this chapter really paves the way for the next chapter, which I'm really quite excited to write.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, if you did please leave a comment, I really do enjoy reading them, they leave a smile on my face, and I get to know important things, such as what you readers like, what I could do better and what you readers want to see more of.**

**Anyway have a great Easter, or if you don't celebrate just have a great little break, or a great after Easter chocolate sales buying day xD**


	15. Chapter 15- I Want To Be Alone

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

* * *

**Chapter 15: I Want To Be Alone**

**A/N, I usually do an A/N at the end of the chapter, but I felt an urgent need to apologize for taking such a long time to update this story, I know it's been a really long while. I've been sort of busy, and honestly I went through a period of writers block. ****I just didn't know how to write this chapter. On my computer, there's still like three other different unfinished versions of it. But it's finally complete, and I have to say, I am actually quite happy with it, so I really hope you all enjoy it too. I made it double the length of my usual chapters to compensate =D.**

**Well with further ado,**

"You're not an easy woman to find" Nolan murmured, as he stepped outside into the back garden of the event hall, having followed Emily to the isolated spot from inside. She was sitting down on the intricately crafted wooden bench, facing as coincidence would have it, a row of fully bloomed roses, deep red in colour.

"_You can complain because a rose has thorns, or you can smile because thorns have roses._"

It was a quote he had first stumbled upon many years ago, a quote that reminded him of her, of the one woman he had come to love unconditionally.

He didn't even know how their friendship had formed.

Originally he had sought Emily out as a way to repay her parents for the kindness and support they'd shown both him and his ambition towards Nolcorp, his now multi-million dollar company . When they had tragically died in the car crash, he had still felt indebted to them and so he had wanted to do everything in his power to help the child they had loved with all their hearts. But he was young at the time, and he did not know how to save Emily from the foster care system that had indeed hardened her. So he had waited, regretfully too long, for by the time she was eighteen, he no longer saw resemblance to the little angel her parents had described. That wasn't surprising though and he did not begrudge her of her attitude, nor of the defenses she put up...he only tried to support her as best as he could.

Emily was strong though, one of the strongest people Nolan had come to meet, and even with all the emotional baggage she carried, Emily had been able to clean herself up, and work towards making something of herself. For her this was achieved through her philanthropist efforts...efforts that opposed to other socialites stemmed from her true understanding of pain, and because of it her genuine desire to help those in dark conditions.

She was no saint though, but then she had never pretended to be, least of all around him. Emily was difficult, guarded and stubborn...often to a fault, but she had redeeming qualities, and they by far overpowered her faults, one of them being her fierce sense of loyalty to those she held in her heart.

It was just a shame the man she'd fallen for, the man who had captured her shielded heart, had failed so ineptly to recognize that simple fact.

* * *

Turning her head towards the familiar voice she heard, Emily frowned ever so slightly at the lanky blond in front of her. She had thought that she was alone, that she had discreetly slipped away from the crowd and into the peaceful little garden, with the fresh air and quietness she so craved.

It was probably no surprise Nolan had found her though, he was like family in that sense, he was always there for her...even when she did not want him to be.

"Of course you found me" she murmured sighing, as she tilted her head to look up at him.

Smiling gently at her as he walked closer towards the rose bushes, tentatively cupping the bulb of one in his hands. Nolan looked towards Emily pointedly, and earnestly said, though not withholding the almost natural way words seemed to stumble out his mouth in his sassy intonation.

"Well what point is there in me being your fashionably dressed technological savvy sidekick, if I'm not there for you when you need it?"

Not knowing whether to frown or smile slightly, at his admittedly endearing response, Emily simply sighed ever so slightly, "I don't need you to be my savior Nolan".

He only chuckled, "I'm no savior Emily, I'm just here for you as your friend...or did you forget you had any?" he gently quipped, still hurt by that fact that she had been actively shutting him out.

"I didn't forget" Emily replied quietly, averting her eyes from Nolan's in guilt. Ever since she had started the war with Daniel, she had been shutting him out, Amanda and Jack too. It was just too hard...she was in so much pain, and she didn't want to pull them into the darkness with her, but yet equally, she wasn't ready to try and stand in the light with them. She had changed too; hate, anger, pain, sadness, it consumes a person, and she'd let it consume herself, those feelings being used as both her weapon and her shield against Daniel in their war.

"Then talk to me" Nolan replied firmly, his worried eyes gazing into Emily's, "and for once be honest".

Emily shook her head softly, her eyelids clamping tightly shut for a few seconds as if she was trying her best to mentally shut him out. She didn't want to talk about her feelings; she'd never been good at that...he knew that.

Nolan sighed as he reached for a rose, being careful of its treacherous thorns before gently plucking it off the bush. "Come on Em's" he muttered, as he began to walk closer towards hers, sitting down tentatively on the bench beside her.

Twirling the rose between his thumb and forefinger, his eyes pressed on hers, hers on the rose in his hand, Nolan began to quietly say. "When you first told me what you were going to do to get your revenge on Daniel, I was against the idea. It's not that I didn't want him to suffer because trust me I did, it's just that I was worried that you'd get even more hurt in the process. So I didn't want you anywhere near him, I wanted you to go to the police and press with the truth, and then to leave the Hampton's and try start fresh somewhere else, leaving him buried under the implications of his actions. That wasn't your style though, you're a fighter, and you wanted him to suffer personally from your own two hands. A part of me understood that, but the other part of me knew that it wouldn't help you heal."

"This was never supposed to make me heal Nolan, that was never the goal!" Emily replied, her voice much harsher than she intended.

"Well if the goal was to make him suffer then haven't you done that by now? There's no breaking something that's already broken, or is enough not enough now?" he retorted.

Emily shook her head frustratingly, "You don't understand"

"No you don't understand!" Nolan shouted, causing Emily to inadvertently recoil in surprise from the painful volume in his voice, "You may be hurting Daniel, but you're hurting yourself too; you're isolating yourself from the people that care about you, you're tethering yourself to a man that shot you, a man that retaliates to your attacks and causes you further pain, and worst of all you're depriving yourself of the chance to heal and start fresh."

She knew that...she knew that she was hurting herself; stabbing herself with the other side of the double edged sword she had thrust into Daniel's heart. But unlike Daniel's, her heart was numb...that was the difference, or at least that was the illusion she liked to convince herself of.

Nolan paused taking a breath, as he gently asked, the volume in his voice having leveled back out, "Is it worth it? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not exhausted, that you're not ready to let him go"

Taking a deep breath as if she was short of the oxygen flowing throughout her veins, Emily lifted her gaze up into Nolan's expressive blue eyes, feeling forced to stare into them, as he had so subtly challenged her to do. But before she could conjure up the right words to respond, her fierce gaze broke from his own, her eyes having been distracted by the damn rose he was still twirling between his long fingers.

Feeling a sudden surge of anger at the distraction, though the real root of her irritation stemmed from the pressure he was omitting on to her to talk, Emily hastily snatched the rose out of his fingers, stopping the twirling motion, at the expense of pricking her own thorn having scratched across the skin of her ring finger, compelling a small amount of blood to pool against the tiny tear in her skin; matching the colour of the deep red coloured rose she was now in possession of, and sharply contrasting the elegant gold and diamond ring, she'd kept on her finger as a scathing reminder to all that had turned to hell.

"Looks like you're not after all", Nolan couldn't help but quietly mutter, as he thoughtfully handed her the handkerchief folded in the front pocket of his fancy suit. Upgrading the small piece of fabric he'd originally used as just an item of colorful accessory for his outfit, to something of actual benefit.

Emily shook her head slowly, as she used the small piece of cloth to dab at the blood on her finger. It was vibrant red...a colour she was starting to become sick of having seen so much of it from the wound Daniel had inflicted upon her.

"I just so feel confused" she slowly murmured, her voice hushed as if she was only really speaking to herself. "In pain and confused" she added, willing her threatening tears not to betray her, and well up in her tired brown eyes.

She was exhausted; the pain, the hurt, the endless fighting and the spite...it was finally beginning to take a toll on even her, and as much as she tried to convince herself that her past feelings for him didn't matter, ultimately they did, which only made it all the more difficult.

She supposed that was proved when she had given into him and his body just hours ago, an action that made her feel sick with contempt for her own weakness .

This was the man who had almost destroyed her body, and yet she had let him touch her, and worse she had felt pleasure in it as his hands had roamed her body, and his kisses trailed her neck.

In that moment she had welcomed his touch, and she had reciprocated his desires, and allowed his hands to roam the familiar spots of her body.

Daniel had been surprisingly gentle, maybe that's what she had found pleasure in, how after the initial surprise of her kissing him back, and the drunken passion that had arose from that, his kisses and his touch had slowly softened, merging into something much gentler. She had no longer sensed the anger hidden behind his touch, or the bitterness masked in his fervent kiss. No, the gentler he became with her and the more delicate the kisses he placed onto her lips the more she felt a much lighter emotion than the other two masked in his moves, the more she felt his desire for forgiveness.

But giving in made her feel weak, a feeling that above all else Emily hated, it conjuring up memories of her unhappy past; the past she had alone trapped in the foster care system that cared little for her.

So after their passionate entanglement when Daniel had pleaded with her to end the hopeless cycle. Ignoring him, her own exhaustion, and her crumbling resolve...instinctively Emily had stubbornly declined. Rationalizing as she had walked away from him, that Daniel shooting her and being the reason that she could no longer carry children, should be her inexhaustible sense of fuel to keep going.

But now she was just confused...unsure.

Was allowing herself to stay trapped in a hopeless cycle as payback against Daniel, what made her strong or just weak?

Was ending it, a testament to her real strength, or just proof of her failed ability to exact revenge on one she had once held true feelings for?

That was something she'd have to figure out on her own she supposed.

* * *

"There you are", Daniel murmured as he silently climbed up the porch steps of Emily's beach house to find her sitting subduedly on the porch swing. She'd been crying, the evidence was clear on her face from her glistening eyes, which were gazing up into the night sky, and from the dampness of her cheeks. In fact her whole composure looked saddened and defeated, as though she had rocks in her pockets weighing her down.

It almost came as a shock to him, seeing her so vulnerable, as if he had forgotten that beneath it all- her iron walls, and icy composure-there was a human-as fragile as any other, and he'd be lying if he said it didn't sadden him to see her like that; all her beauty being washed away by her sadness and pain.

Though the anger inside of him from his own pain still hadn't boiled over at the sight of her...his toxic lover, splitting his mind in two as another part of him believed she deserved her suffering. She had turned so cold...even more so than him, and if realizing the consequences of her own actions through her pain helped to propel some sort of resolution between them, then maybe her tears were necessary damage.

Emily tensed up immediately at the sound of his voice, cursing under her breath, as she turned her head trying to subtly wipe away evidence of her tears. She hadn't expected him to come looking for her, if she had then she would have hid away in a place she knew he couldn't find her. She'd miscalculated him though, costing her a night alone. A night where she could shed silent tears of her own, reflecting upon both the good and bad memories they had once shared and ruminating about what needed to be done now, all under the secrecy of the dark night sky. A sky plastered with a handful of stray stars, looking just as isolated...though not quite as faded as she currently felt.

"I want to be alone" she replied rigidly, her voice naturally hardening as it usually did when she spoke to him.

Hearing him harshly sigh, no doubt from the callous tone of her voice, Emily slowly cast her eyes up at him, cursing his handsome face which she had carelessly fallen for, a face which now stirred up a plethora of emotions in both her overwhelmed heart and deeply troubled mind.

"Well I came to see my lovely wife" Daniel jeered, the words slipping out his mouth from the unsympathetic side of his pent up frustration, rather than his more forgiving side, "I mean, because of you I still can call you that, can't I?"

He was challenging her, knowing full well that she was not in the mood...but then again when had she ever cared if he was in the mood?

Glaring back at him, her dark brown eyes penetrating his own, Emily pursed her lips before slowly replying, "You know as well as me how our marriage is bound".

"By pain" Daniel spat out, the words feeling bitter on his tongue "and spite". Two emotions Daniel never would have imagined could flow so easily between the two of them.

"Is this really what you wanted Emily?" he questioned angrily, not being able to separate the resentment seeped into his voice, as he waited for her to answer.

"What I wanted?" she repeated immediately incensed by his accusation, "You did this to _us_ Daniel, not me!"

Daniel shook his head furiously, his jaw clenching tightly in anger, not willing to accept all the blame, not now after what she'd done "I'm so sick of you playing the victim Emily!"

His words rung deep in the air, but he only felt satisfaction, they were words, he had been waiting to get off his chest for a while, words that he'd always constricted deep down in his throat, believing they were too harsh after the damage he'd caused her...but what about what she'd caused him, had she not been cruel too?

"I _know_ that shooting you tainted our relationship and you won't find me negating the fact that what I did was horrifying, but..." Daniel added, his voice hardening, as he stared back unflinchingly into her penetrating brown eyes; eyes that he had once adored, "When I tried to at least salvage what I had broken, you turned around and actively tried to shatter those pieces further. I understand that you were angry, and you were bitter, and those feelings were only justified...but still no matter what I did, or said to try and show you how truly sorry I was, you stared back at me with those cold, relentless eyes, and refused to accept it, refused to release me from the malicious web you'd weaved us in.

"Letting his words cut deep into the tenseness of the chilly night air, Daniel took a deep breath, looking at her... the hardened beauty he'd fallen for, "All I wanted Emily, was to work towards redeeming myself, so I could become someone who could never in a million years hurt the one I loved like I hurt you.

His intense gaze nearly overpowering her own, Emily steadied her resolve and took in his words unwaveringly, her eyes reflecting the two parallels of her emotions; both the pitiless anger and the vulnerability that was now starting to crack through her icy composure.

"I wanted you in pain" she admitted, the words spilling out of her mouth hastily as though she was unsure of the emotion she wanted to breathe into them...be it guilt or spite.

"I _needed_ you to suffer as much as I had" she further clarified, emphasizing the word _needed_ with the anger she still felt at him as she forced her sharply cut words out over the huge lump that had expanded in her throat.

"I was already suffering" Daniel replied coarsely, searching her eyes, for even the smallest fraction of an apology hidden deep within. "But you had to twist my mind further, forcing me into becoming an even bigger monster, one so big I can hardly even remember who I once was now"

"I haven't forgotten..."

The words slipped quietly out of her mouth before she could catch them, the surprising tenderness of them unwillingly causing his heart to stir.

How could she forget though, his impish grin as he drew her in for a surprise kiss, or snuck up on her from behind wrapping his arms lovingly around her waist.

Or the gentle way he'd take her hand, as they took evening strolls along the beach, his warm jacket inevitably ending up on her shoulders by the end the walk. He was always genuinely thoughtful of her like that, in little ways or simple gestures that showed he really cared. That was important to her, more than she had ever admitted do to her almost intimidating sense of independence. But it had meant a lot to her knowing that he was there and observant to her thoughts and feelings, especially when growing up she had thought she'd lost that.

He had made her feel so warm and secure... but still, she had never been able to fully relinquish herself to him, unshackled by her walls. It was probably no wonder he had given up on her in the end, he'd sensed that what she had given to him, was simply, a clone, a beautiful imitation of herself, but a fake nonetheless without the sustenance his heart needed to beat eternally.

As Daniel looked at Emily, he could tell, the words had been a surprise for her too, having come straight from her heart, bypassing her overly careful mind, which processed too thoroughly the words she spoke.

"Yet you still..." he pressed, not being able to finish his question, as her words cut through the air, interrupting him, "I know my actions were cold Daniel..."

It sounded like the start of an apology, and he waited with his breath held in anticipation, as his eyes searched her own begging to hear what would relieve his heart of at least a little of the heavy load he was carrying. But the mere fragment of the sentence she'd spoken was the closest thing to, that he received, and not knowing what else to say, he simply turned his head, his arm resting against the railing as he looked up into the night sky which she seemed to find so intriguing.

"Are you finished yet Em's?" he asked quietly, a few moments later, shivering as the chilly breeze blew up against his steady frame, its wind filling in the silence that Emily couldn't find the words to.

She wished he wouldn't call her that..._that_ being _Em's_. Nicknames were usually reserved to those you felt affection towards, and/or a sense of familiarity, but their line of affection had been severed and as for familiarity, though in body they were the same person, in spirit they both had sadly morphed into something unrecognizable. So it now felt wrong coming off of his lips, really wrong, but she was sure he felt the disharmony of it too.

"Emily!" his voice was louder now, and harsher in his frustration, as his eyes snapped back down to the sky towards her, waiting for a reply. It not going unnoticed by her how he'd corrected himself this time, leaving _Em's_ where it belonged... the past.

Shaking her head ever so slightly, her blonde wisps of hair billowing gently in the air, Emily averted her gaze from his own, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat.

She wanted to be finished. She was so tired of the back and forth between them; the relentless striking and receiving of each others anger and pain...and for what?

She knew the reason, there was no forgetting what he'd done, but still...she was so emotionally drained from it all, that her resolve no longer resonated with her heart.

Watching as Daniel shook his head angrily at her silence, his jaw clenched tensley shut, no doubt to avoid muttering something he might regret, she felt a shiver as he coldly brushed past her, the hem of his jacket just sweeping across the side of her lap. His destination, she didn't know, though she was certain wherever he left to, he'd make sure his liver was well satiated with the toxic taste of alcohol to compensate for his ruptured heart.

How many times had they gone through it all; the fighting, the arguments, the pleading...the icy silence and sharpened glares? The sickening motion of such convoluted emotions swirling around in both their minds...with no endpoint...no resolution in sight.

It truly was exhausting.

"Wait" she murmured hastily, her body moving before she even knew what she was doing, finding herself up from her seat as she reached out for him, her fingers clasping on to the back of his hand, just before he slipped out of her reach and exited through her porch steps.

It was a sudden act...impulsive and not very much like something Emily would do. But something had come over her as she saw him walk away with the anger and bitterness her toxic cycle drew. Anger and bitterness she knew he'd find a way to emit back on to her in retaliation the very next day. And so on and so forth, until both their heavy hearts sunk even further.

That feeling, that act was from a sense of desperation, to free herself from it, to unshackle herself from him once and for all...to end it.

Feeling a chill run up his spine, as her hand made sudden contact with his own, Daniel reluctantly turned to face her, a hardened expression still plastered on his face, as he was forced to stare straight into the eyes of the woman who he had both loved and hated more passionately than any other, and as her cold hand dropped from his own as suddenly as she had grabbed onto it, Daniel took a small step back from her as though he didn't trust himself or his body to be so close to her.

"Daniel I..."

His eyes flickering between the resoluteness he saw in her eyes, and the words her lips were slowly forming. Words filled with honesty as opposed to spite, and her true feelings as opposed to her stubborn resolve. Daniel shivered from the frigidness of the air, as he watched her take in a jagged breath before steadily uttering with a chilling sense of finality buried within her voice, "I'm finished."

Those simple words releasing both herself and Daniel from the toxic relationship their love had sadly morphed into.

As the words Daniel had been so desperately waiting to hear finally echoed throughout his head, Daniel drew out a needed breath, the expression on his face softening ever so slightly as a wave of relief washed over him from knowing that he'd no longer have to hurt or be hurt by his ex-lover, or feel the resentment that rose up inside of him every time she skillfully provoked her.

He'd be free; free of her and free to put her behind him...If he could ever dare to do so because for all the talk, and all the harsh words and cruel actions exchanged, deep down he knew that there was still a part of himself that loved her regardless, a tiny flame inside his heart that not even her icy cold glares could extinguish.

"So that's it then" he questioned tentatively, his eyes staring straight into her own as the overwhelming complexity of life without Emily Thorne began to wash over him.

"Yes" Emily replied stringently, taking a seat back on the porch swing she'd been previously sitting on. "I'll have my attorney draft the divorce papers shortly, then I'll be gone for good".

It was a funny thing, she'd thought ending this would invigorate her; providing her with the strength that had been steadily draining out of her, but that wasn't so much the case. Sure when the words had first spilled out of her mouth, she'd felt a sudden weight lift off her heart, making it all the easier to breath. But now she was just beginning to feel all the more empty...and scared for she knew that by letting him go she would truly be alone, and unable to hide the pain behind her anger and the actions they induced. No, she'd have to face them head on, and sort through them to heal, a rather daunting task, even for Emily Thorne.

She'd have to truly untangle herself from Daniel Grayson, the man she had loved too strongly maybe.

What had it been? Three or so years since she'd first moved to the Hampton's and bumped into him at the memorial day party, that started all of this.

From that day, Daniel had been both her sunshine, and warmth, as well as her thunder and rain...but he had always been there, even if they like recently, his presence had only brought her pain. Going forward though that was about to change...and she'd have to remember who she was without Daniel...or more favorably, she'd have to figure out the woman she wanted to become.

"I'd guessed as much" Daniel murmured as he instinctively walked closer towards her, unsure as to why with her confirmation that she would be leaving, he suddenly felt an inclination to draw out the night with her. It wasn't as though he had anything more to say, but still he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet, not with knowing it could very likely be one of the last times he'd be with her.

Emily had once told him that before she'd settled into the Hampton's, she'd moved from city to city a lot, trying to find a place that felt like home.

He remembered how sad that thought had made him feel...her not having a place she felt anchored to and so he'd asked her if the Hampton's was finally beginning to feel like a place she could call home.

"_With you here it is beginning to" _she'd responded tenderly, making his heart pound fiercely from the love he'd felt, as he'd pulled her into his arms.

That was gone though...he wasn't _here _with her anymore...not with the distance that had developed between them and so her anchor to this place had dissolved, leaving her no real reason to stay.

Her leaving was probably what was best though, his feelings for Emily Thorne were too strong and too complicated for him to be able to truly compartmentalize them, without her intoxicating presence far far away. Still even knowing that he struggled to understand why the thought of the Hampton's without her seemed to unsettle him so much?

His eyes observing the goosebumps that had run up her arm from the chill in the air, Daniel instinctively shrugged off his jacket. Not being able to shake, his rather gentlemen like action...not with her. Foolishly she was still in the dress she'd worn to her event, and as beautiful as it looked on her, it did nothing in terms of providing her with any kind of warmth.

It was a shame, the warm summer nights having been replaced with the coolness of the air, as though the weather wanted to indicate that even summer was coming to an end; slowly dying as though to match the final end of their turbulent relationship.

"You're freezing" he whispered, justifying his actions as he leaned down into her unexpecting body, taking the liberty of wrapping his jacket gently around her cold shoulders, before tentatively sitting down on the seat beside her.

It was an action that saddened her more than anything else, reminding her of the Daniel she'd fallen in love with, the man who had regarded her with love and care, above all else. And as her body began to feel increasingly warmer, the cold that had chilled her bones being absorbed by the warmth of his jacket, Emily found that as much as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to deny herself of his kind gesture and drop his jacket from her shoulders...though equally she could neither bring herself to push the words thank you, out over the lump that had formed in the back of her throat.

Closing her eyes, as if wanting to imagine that he wasn't still beside him, she tiredly whispered, "I want to be alone Daniel".

It was late... very late, and his presence alone bruised her, especially after the emotions he'd stirred up within her at the charity event and now here on her front porch. She'd said what needed to be said anyway and it was truly best they stayed away from each other...it was easier that way.

Daniel nodded his head slowly, knowing full well that he needed to leave...to let her go...something he had wished to be able to do ever since their feud had begun. Sitting quietly on her porch swing now though, reflecting upon everything they'd both had and lost...he was beginning to realize just how hard that action would prove.

He had always loved this spot, there was something peaceful about it, something calming about sitting there and swinging slowly as you let your thoughts run a wander, taking in the beautiful beach in your view, and feeling the gentle ocean breeze against your skin.

He had especially loved this spot when Emily was beside him. Her gentle light chatter, making him smile, as she went over her day. Or the simple way they could both sit in peaceful silence, their hands lovingly intertwined, though their minds in separate places, both taking solace in each others simple presence.

They had shared many a kisses, hugs and smiles on this spot too, it being the very spot he'd admitted he'd first fallen in love with her...a feeling he was now being forced to shake.

Shivering himself now, as another cold breeze blew past him, Daniel sighed to himself, as he looked towards his view of the manor; his pretentiously grand house which when inside, left him feeling all the more cold, and empty, from the sense of darkness the stone walls portrayed as if they were a reflection of all his parents sinful actions.

Actions that he'd let slip...when he had the chance to right their wrongs, as Emily had so encouraged him to do back years ago when he had held an interview defending his father from the allegations he'd faced.

She had never admitted it to him on that day, but when she had first broken their engagement it had became blatantly clear how disappointed she had been in him by the words she'd spoken as she'd handed him back her ring. _"I'm watching you become everything you said you never wanted to be."_

She was right, even more so now...but yet foolishly she'd still put the ring back on her finger. If she hadn't then it would have saved her from a whole lot of pain, for although after they'd broken up he had worked towards his better self, in the end he now knew, he'd only taken one step forward, and two huge steps back.

Getting ready to stand and leave Emily within the solitude he thought she desired, Daniel froze in his spot, a tremor running throughout him as he felt a sudden gentle weight lean against the side of his body. An action of Emily's that confused him exponentially, giving the situation they were currently in; throwing his emotions off balance, as he sat there rigid as a rock, before very hesitantly wrapping his arms around her, deeming it safe to complete the embrace she'd unexpectedly initiated.

He didn't know what she was thinking, and he almost didn't care. In fact he'd had to bite his tongue, to avoid uttering her name, for fear that his voice would shake her back into reality. The reality where her body resting comfortably against his own, and her head resting on his steady shoulders, couldn't happen.

But is was happening, one last time he supposed and he'd readily take it; the warmth of her body against her own, the lingering aroma of her sweet perfume and the steady beat of her heart against his chest. He'd take it all one last time, if that's what she wanted...desired, even if it meant all the more hurt when it was time to let go.

* * *

Again.

She felt so helpless….again she had given in...drew closer to him, when she needed to be drawing away from him.

She'd been tired...exhausted…and he'd been there...right there when he himself, should have drawn away from her too. It was twisted more than anything else, trying to find comfort in the man who had hurt her... and selfish; using the man in that very way when she had no intention of forgiving him.

Still…..even knowing that it felt so good being there in his steady arms one last time, so good having him hold her as if he could shield her from her own pain, and leaning against him to absolve the struggle she felt to hold her fragile self up alone. Maybe that's why her body had moved on its own accord, ignoring the rationality of her apprehensive mind, a mind that knew it was wrong, that knew it would only confuse her more.

Feeling moisture begin to form in the corner of her eyes, eyes that remained closed, from her desire not to be reminded of whose arms she was in. A single, agonizing tear slid down her cheek, causing her body to tremble ever so slightly against his own, thus propelling a steady flow of hot silent tears to stream down her cheeks.

They were tears of frustration more than anything else...she just felt so weak and so helpless, to the overwhelming feelings and emotions caged inside of her. Feelings that wouldn't dissolve nor disappear...feelings that fluctuated unfathomably, making her completely vulnerable at times when her emotional strength had dissipated for the day

Staring at her in startlement, still shocked by her tears; a clear sign of vulnerability, which Emily was usually so well-equipped at hiding. Daniel felt another pang of regret in his heart, as he felt the moisture from her salty tears begin to dampen his shirt.

Finding himself instinctively wanting to comfort her as best as he could, Daniel pulled Emily even closer to him, gingerly stroking the top of her head in a comforting manner, as his fingers eventually settled on playing softly with her golden locks, in a way that made her heart throb with the ache she felt.

It was ironic more than anything else, him trying to comfort her, being that the source of her tears were from the guilt and confusion she felt from allowing such affectionate actions between them to occur in the first place.

But then again their whole relationship was an overwhelming mess of the convoluted thoughts, and emotions they felt, and then the frustrating actions they inevitably ended up performing.

Those three aspects never seeming to clearly align.

* * *

**Well there it is, chapter 15, I hope you enjoyed it, if you did comments are always appreciated =D**

**And stay tuned for chapter 16, which I promise not to take so long to update. **


	16. Chapter 16- Mercy Not Love

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Mercy Not Love**

"_It's the truth isn't it?" Ben Hunter asked with all seriousness, his scrutinizing eyes focused right on her as though her mind was transparent, " Look me in the eyes Emily, and tell me that's not the truth...and I won't question you about Daniel again."_

It had been a week since Emily had last seen Daniel, a week since the charity event, where she had fought with him, hooked up with him, ended things with him, and then foolishly taken comfort in his arms, all in one whirlwind of emotions night.

She had been keeping herself busy since, contemplating what she wanted to be doing, and more importantly where, as she figured out her future plans and destinations.

Coming to the Hampton's summers ago and acquiring that beautiful beach house property as her own, Emily had really thought, that this could have been her chance, her place to call home but it seems even that had been ripped from her…..or she supposed ripped through like the bullet through her flesh, and his actions through her heart.

She knew she couldn't stay….she just couldn't, not with him here, not with remainders every she turned. She stepped outside and to the left was the Grayson Manor, a house so grand it looked unwelcoming, but a house nevertheless which Daniel had warmly invited her into countless times.

Look straight ahead and there was the beach, the beach they'd taken midnight walks on, and early morning dips in the ocean. The glistening ocean, with its lapping waves on shore which she had coaxed Daniel to stay in, baring the initial shock of the cold waters with her.

Then look to her right and there was the road Daniel's black Mercedes could always be seen cruising down to meet her.

No, to stay would be ill-advised...to stay would only inhibit her health further, which both emotionally and physically needed much more attention than she was giving it.

"Emily", Ben Hunter persisted, his voice firm yet sincere, as he looked at her needing more than just her silence.

He had figured it out, after much scrutinization over the details and the statements, and much twisting and turning of thoughts and scenarios in his head, he now felt certain in his suspicions. Suspicions against the prodigal Grayson son.

For one there was the police statements made by the guests on the boat. During the time of the shooting, everyone on that boat could be accounted for in the main room, with the exception of Victoria Grayson and Lydia Davis, who both confirmed that they were in the powder room together. Daniel's whereabouts however were kind of shaky, and it wasn't until the guests on the boat recounted their statements to the police that Daniel's name was brought up when asked who was around them. A fact made more evident from the photographs taken on the yacht, and his lack of presence in them during the time.

Then there was Emily and Daniel's relationship and he understood that the shooting could have put unnecessary stress on their marriage, but when he saw those two together…. on the surface it seemed right he supposed, but when you looked closely, there was no love in their eyes only a cold kind of tenseness, which he found especially strange for a newlywed couple.

To top it all of there was Emily's amnesia, and he in no way intended to mock her condition but when he had spoken to her doctor, although the memory loss had been confirmed, the doctor had also informed him that it was more than likely a short term condition and was confident that Emily would soon remember. However, Emily still hadn't been able to recount that moment...and just as speculation he knew that if someone was trying to cover for someone close to them, then hiding the truth behind their memory loss would be the best way to do it.

That left him with one important question, Why? Why would Emily cover for Daniel?

He had narrowed down the answer to two possible reasons, Love or Fear.

Out of concern for her safety, he had asked her, if Daniel or any of the Grayson's had threatened her to keep quiet. She had instantly denied, her eyes having flickered both angrily and uncomfortably at the thought, as she'd replied, "_Daniel's no monster" . _

He'd felt inclined to believe her, not observing the usual subtle gestures indicating a lie.

So this by default narrowed the answer down to love, an emotion which was much more difficult to comprehend.

But still he couldn't back down, she knew the truth, and he did now too, so it was time for justice to deal out the appropriate punishment for the crime committed. He didn't want to hurt her, and he recognized that the situation she was in was painful, but still...if he needed to exert a little pressure to make her crack, then for the truth he would do it.

He had already tried, but she'd been stubborn in her denial, ignoring, countering or beating around his question by asking ones of her own. One thing had given her away though, something which he had been able to distinguish, and that was the sad, pained expression she'd carefully tried to hide behind her eye. As a police officer though, one aiming towards becoming a detective, he was naturally observant of such things and he had seen through her. He had noticed the way she hesitated before denying, the way she made the slightest of pauses between her words as though she were picking them carefully, but mostly he noticed the pain and confliction behind her dark brown eyes, especially as he had detailed his calculated account of what he believed happened that night, an account so shockingly close to the truth.

"_I spoke to your doctor, Emily" Officer Hunter began to say, vocalizing the thoughts he'd played around with in his head, "I found out you were never pregnant but I suspect Daniel believed you were, at least before the wedding, didn't he?...I don't know what happened that night, whether you told him the truth or whether he found out...but something ultimately happened, and I think in his anger he shot you. Now whether his intention was to kill you I don't know, I'd like to think not...but I know from the reports Daniel had a high amount of alcohol in his system that night which was probably a factor in the incident."_

She'd done well to hide her shock, she certainly was a much better actor than her husband, and probably a much better liar too...but still in her indecision, her natural response to his words couldn't be as cleanly wiped away from her face and her composure as she might have hoped. There were just too many emotions of hers struggling to break free.

Maybe it was really time, Emily thought to herself, feeling an uncomfortable tenseness in her body as she heavily contemplated. Time to let go of the charade...to speak the truth. She didn't owe Daniel anything...least of all this.

"It's the truth isn't it?" Ben Hunter asked with all seriousness, his scrutinizing eyes focused right on her as though her mind was transparent, " Look me in the eyes Emily, and tell me that's not the truth...and I won't question you about Daniel again."

Pausing in disconcertment from Ben's intuition and fortitude on the matter. Emily shifted her gaze up to his own, her deep brown eyes, darkening in the pain, anger and confliction she felt. Finding her mouth had fluttered open as though she was ready to speak; past the sudden dryness in her throat, and past the constricting tightness she now felt. Emily hesitated further shuffling between words of truth and words of fiction.

* * *

**Flashback**

"You look beautiful" Daniel murmured admiringly, as she came down the stairs dressed in a beautiful cream coloured dress, her hair draping down in soft blonde waves around her face.

"You don't look half-bad yourself" she joked as she walked closer towards him, leaning in to his body as she lifted her hand to his neck, straightening out his collar. Once accomplished she pecked him gently on the lips, before slipping on her flats, grabbing the present off the table, and last but not least, slipping her arm through Daniel's as they made their rather short walk to their destination.

"Thank you" she murmured softly, as they spotted the very small but rather special crowd of guests waiting to share in on the beautiful wedding of the bride and groom's.

"For what?" he asked,

"You know what….for being here with me on their wedding day, when I know you're not particularly close to... or even fond of either Jack or Amanda".

Daniel sighed ever so slightly, she was right...he wasn't.

It wasn't so much that he didn't like them, I mean he could tell they were good people. It was just that...well for Jack he'd be lying if he said the thought of that man having kissed Emily….his Emily didn't still bother him. Though it was clear they'd moved past it, and that whatever their feelings for each other had briefly been, they were now blown out, he couldn't help but think that if Jack hadn't kissed Emily that night, then the two of them would probably have been married now and living in Paris, not working on their second shot at love. Instead though, while Jack was the one being wed, they were the ones taking it slow.

Then there was Amanda, and he had tried really hard to get along with her when Emily had first introduced her to him. But she had been adamant from the start to dislike him, to cast him off as just another dirty Grayson. He understood why, her past was terrible and her suspicions about her parents were correct, another thing which made it uncomfortable to talk to her….but still he was not his parents, his intentions were good.

"Well I know you care a lot about them" Daniel replied softly, "and I care about you, so I want to share in on the happiness you must be feeling for your friends."

Looking up at him, Emily's lips tugged into the warmest of smiles, as she thanked him once again, before allowing herself to be whisked away by Nolan Ross who needed her help in finishing the last minute wedding preparations.

This was almost us, Daniel thought to himself half an hour later, as he watched with a bittersweet feeling in his stomach as Jack and Amanda exchanged their vows. Cementing their words with a kiss, before taking their very first dance as a newlywed couple underneath the canopy. They were awkward on their feet, neither of them accustomed to such a formal dance, which was made further difficult by the soft sand underneath them. But they managed well enough, and even he couldn't deny it was sweet to see.

"Care to join them" he whispered lovingly, tickling her ear with the warmth of his breath, as he pulled Emily close, his arms finding their way around her waist, and her arms around his neck. Moving slowly and smoothly in step, accustomed to one another's movements, Daniel gazed down at her adoringly, loving the sight of her laughing as she turned to see Nolan shuffling along to the slow song with Baby Carl instead of a date in his arms. He looked happy though, they all did, Jack and Amanda, Charlotte and Declan...and of course the two of them.

Feeling her stomach flutter as Daniel gently dipped her, she couldn't help but think, _So this was almost us_, her eyes looking at him yearningly as she felt Daniel tenderly press his lips against her own.

_Almost..._

**Flashback End**

* * *

"Emily?"

Ben's firm voice, sending her mind back to the painful present, where her beautiful memories were now soaked in misery and regret. Emily cast her jaded brown eyes in his direction, struggling to find her breath.

She felt like she couldn't breath.

After the pressure Ben was so persistently emitting onto her to talk, the truth now felt stuck in her airways, blocking the air she needed; air she could only get out by releasing the truth.

She'd held it in for so long, and it hurt…. it really did. It hurt to lie...to lie for him after the pain he had caused her...and to lie on impulse without knowing why.

The night her memory had returned, waking up with that searing pain in her abdomen….and such unrelenting, torturing thoughts of betrayal in her mind. Emily had bitterly vowed that she would hurt him herself, that she could cause him more pain than prison, that she could rip him apart, like he'd done to her. She'd believed that and felt justified in her decision…she was a fighter...she could inflict his punishment herself. That's what she had told herself, but deep down was that truly what she believed? Or had that just been her heart's secret way to steer herself away from the idea and the reality of condemning Daniel to prison?

There was no denying he needed to pay...to bleed as she had….and yet she'd went about doing that in the most unorthodox way, dismissing the idea of prison as soon as it had flitted into her mind. He deserved so much more she'd declared...but truly what's a worse fate then prison? Than and atmosphere so cold, dark and torturous? One he'd be trapped in.

She hadn't realized then but now she was beginning to think, that subconsciously she had been protecting him from the beginning, justifying her reason as to why prison wasn't the answer, by persuading herself that she could punish him worse.

Something, their past maybe...or the nostalgia of it all, must have been stronger than her will for revenge. Or surely she would have taken him to court and let him pay in prison; let him rot in his thoughts while she escaped it all. But instead in justification for his pain she had set up that sick twisted game. A game which hurt her just as much as it did him.

So she had lied, lied to herself, and lied to Ben Hunter and his partner, who had both sat there with their notebooks and pens after her memory had returned and questioned her, trying futilely to uncover the truth she had no intention of giving up.

But what about now? Time had passed, and she still felt such an uncomfortable feeling every time she covered for him...denied; like an agonizing clench on her heart. She didn't want to feel that anymore, to carry that with her on top of the rest of her demons when she left the Hampton's for good. So maybe it was time...not out of spite for Daniel...but for herself.

Taking a deep breath, Emily closed her eyes briefly before slowly exhaling, the agonizing truth stumbling out her mouth in what seemed like a quiet hush, "I wish I could tell you, you were wrong, I really do but…." shrugging her shoulders helplessly, she then finished off by uttering "I just can't".

Staring back at her with such a look of sympathy in his deep brown eyes, widened in the shock of her confession. Ben shook his head frustratedly not knowing what to say. It was one thing theorizing Daniel Grayson was the culprit, and even though he'd felt confident in his conclusion, hearing it being confirmed by the woman Daniel was suppose to love, shocked him more than he cared to let on to.

It also infuriated him, but as a police officer, he of all people had to contain that anger and bury it deep within along with the overwhelming sense of disgust he felt at such a shameless crime. That was one of the hardest parts of his job as a police officer, controlling his outrage. That and talking to the victims; seeing their distress, their pain, and knowing his words could do little to comfort them.

"I'm so sorry Emily" Ben whispered contritely. He couldn't even imagine the horror, the betrayal she must have felt . "You don't have to hide this anymore..." he added, wanting so desperately to comfort her, to reach across the table and place his reassuring hand over her own.

"I…", Shaking her head slowly, feeling relieved that she'd managed to get the words out without her feelings betraying her to the point of watery eyes or worse….tears, an action she found shameless and one which had been happening much too frequently to her recently. Emily cleared her throat, ready to speak, when her thoughts were disrupted by the familiar ringing of her front doorbell.

"Excuse me" she muttered, taking the opportunity to take a quick breather outside the kitchen before walking to the door expecting to open up and see the familiar face of Nolan Ross. He had been checking up on her everyday, sometimes a couple times a day, ignoring her insistence that she was fine, and coping.

Unfortunately it wasn't Nolan Ross though.

* * *

"Emily, can I-uh, can I talk to you?"

Emily bristled, the sight of him, of Daniel Grayson making her instantly tense, "What are you doing here?" she questioned warily.

"I'm not here to…." Daniel sighed, not finishing the end of that sentence, "I just…"

He wanted to see her, that was the truth, it had been a week, since that night, the night they'd finally managed to come to some sort of terms...and he just wanted to see her. He couldn't explain it, but feeling the distance encroaching in on them as if she were already a million miles away, made him want to draw closer to her.

He also had some things to say, to tell her, to ask her, to apologize for….maybe that's why he still felt a pull, because although that night had been a start, a colossal start, he still needed a little something more, if he were to ever attain true closure.

"Daniel, I'm kind of busy right now", Emily, muttered sighing.

"Fine, I just came to get my jacket, you can at least give me that can't you?" he quipped in frustration.

He was of course referring back to the jacket of his he had tenderly wrapped around her shoulders, when he had spotted she'd been cold on the porch swing . Thinking back to that night, Daniel felt his heart clench when he remembered what it had felt like to have her in his arms one last time.

He still didn't know what had come over her….. deep exhaustion he guessed mixed into the array of overwhelming emotions, he was sure she'd been feeling. He would know, he had been feeling them too. Still he'd allowed it, not begrudging her for taking comfort in him one last time or for soaking his shirt with her tears

He had just held her gently….gingerly at first in his confusion, but then more steadily as he had pulled her even closer to him, absorbing the warmth of her skin, breathing in the lingering aroma of her sweet perfume, and most specially, feeling the familiar pattern of her steady heartbeat in correlation to his own.

He didn't know how long they'd been sitting outside on the porch swing like that, probably a good hour or so, before reluctantly he decided he needed to get her to bed. Though the upper half of her body had been warm in his jacket and snuggled against his chest, he knew her legs must have been chilly, and he didn't want her to wake with a cold.

In addition he had been tired too, she'd fallen asleep in his arms not long after she'd rested against him. But he had stayed awake, gazing up into the night sky; ruminating, not wanting to move for fear she'd wake. But his eyes had begun to flutter shut, his consciousness wanting to drift into sleep like Emily, and he couldn't risk falling asleep on her. That night she was vulnerable, but in the clearness of a new morning, he was afraid of what her temperament might have been and how she would have reacted.

So carefully, very carefully, he had picked her up and slowly carried her into her bedroom. She had stirred slightly, but as he'd settled her down onto her bed, taken off her shoes and removed his jacket from her shoulders, thankfully she'd fallen back into her sleep.

She was so beautiful….he clearly remembered having that one thought, as he had carefully drawn the covers over her worn-out body, gingerly brushing away wisps of blonde hair from the front of her face, before in his closeness and in his wistful sense of desire for her, he had tenderly, snuck in the lightest of kisses onto her warm unknowing lips. Retracting with the familiar feeling of regret for what he had done and what it had caused him to lose.

Looking at her now, he wondered if she'd felt anything that night; remembered what it had felt like to be in his arms once more, or held the faintest memory of him carrying her to bed and tucking her in. Knowing Emily she probably wanted to pretend she hadn't...but maybe, just maybe she had.

Frowning at his tone of voice, Emily narrowed her eyes at him, "Fine, wait out here" she muttered as she slowly closed the front door, leaving it only slightly ajar. She did not want Daniel and Ben to come face to face, least of all now.

Watching through the crack in the door as she walked towards the stairs, irritated by the fact that she couldn't even invite him inside. Daniel sighed to himself, his body instantly tensing, when he unexpectedly heard a male voice call up to Emily from inside.

He recognized that voice too, though he couldn't immediately place it. He also recognized that it caused him to feel something that left an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, something increasingly close to jealousy. Not being able to contain that feeling and his dreaded sense of curiosity, Daniel slowly pushed the door open, stepping inside as he walked towards the kitchen, where the voice had come from.

Spying none other than Officer Hunter, sitting in _his _spot at Emily's kitchen table, drinking from a mug she had probably handed to him at one point. Daniel frowned, feeling a bout of bitterness rise up inside him, stemming from jealousy no doubt.

What was worse, what cemented the whole picture, was that Officer Hunter...or he supposed he should say, Ben Hunter was not even in uniform, so more than likely whatever they were doing was not a work-related meeting .

Stepping inside, wanting to make his presence known, with narrowed eyes Daniel couldn't help but tensely ask, "What are you doing here? I thought you had gotten taken off the case".

* * *

Turning his head towards the voice he heard, the hardened expression on his face further sharpening into a glare which he unwaveringly directed at Daniel. Ben stood up from his seat the sight of the Grayson man making his blood instantly boil after his suspicions had been confirmed by Emily herself. "I did, but this isn't a work-related meeting" he responded icily.

After the charity event incident where he'd ended up kissing Emily _Thorne_...he refused to say _Grayson_, news had traveled to his chief, no doubt from Daniel himself, and he had been reprimanded for it at work and taken off the case. This...today wasn't a work-related meeting between him and Emily though, at least it wasn't suppose to be. Emily had actually invited him over, wanting to apologize for her actions at the event. She had explained to him, that she had unfairly used him in some vendetta against Daniel, and that she was sorry she'd acted so shamefully. He had gracefully accepted her apology before carefully moving on to a topic of his own ..Daniel and his suspicions, which is how they'd ended up where they were now.

"Then what are you doing here" Daniel asked irritably.

"That's none of your concern, at least not until I say it is", Ben replied authoritatively, with an almost smug tone behind his harsh voice, as though he knew something Daniel didn't, which ultimately he did.

"You're full of bullshit" Daniel replied disdainfully, determined not to get too riled up not in Emily's house at least, "I'll just ask my wife". He added, emphasizing the word wife, despite knowing their marriage had been a sham the moment he'd pulled that trigger on her. Ben didn't know that though at least he didn't think he knew, for to the rest of the world they were happily married.

"That's rich" Ben mocked, also struggling to keep his anger in check, it was no wonder he'd been taken off the case. He barely knew Emily very well...and yet he desperately wanted to beat Daniel Grayson senseless for what he'd done to her, even with knowing that justice was right around the corner.

"What is?" Daniel challenged.

"You calling Emily your wife, as if you care for her, as though you have even the slightest semblance of an idea of what being a husband even means."

Daniel glared angrily, Ben's words striking a nerve with him. Did he know something? He was beginning to wonder. It was just something about the way he'd said it, the animosity heard clear in his voice, and the look of dripping disgust across his face.

"I might not be a good husband" Daniel replied tensely, knowing full well that he was in fact the lowest of husbands, "But you're wrong about one thing" he added fiercely, "I do care about her...I always have".

…

…

…

…

…

…

...

"And yet you still shot her!" Ben retorted piercingly, not being able to hold these weighty words packed with such clear outrage in any longer as they cannonballed straight out of his mouth, the power behind them, leaving the words hanging heavily in the taut air and sinking deep into Daniel's troubled heart and mind.

Shaking his head, his heart pounding heavily against his chest, hammering as though it was ready to jump out, Daniel froze, his body instantly stiffening, as he swallowed down his freshly renewed sense of guilt and shame in one big gulp. How did he know that? Was it Emily? He asked himself, his mind instantly in a frenzy, as perturbing thoughts of prison began to trickle into his mind. He knew he deserved to go back there, he knew that….but he was a coward, and no matter the indifference he tried to portray on the subject, the thought of being surrounded by those cold, dark walls, those solid confining bars, and worse of all, the sickening stench of such malice,and cruelty, truly disturbed him.

Speak...he had to speak, to deny….but part of him knew it was all over...it was too late….the guilt was written all over his face, the shame in the composure of his body, and the fear in his silence. He'd been found out and deep down he knew that even if he were able to force more lies out over the hoarseness he felt in his throat, then they would go unheard by Ben Hunter who looked completely resolute in the accusation he had shot at Daniel.

"What, suddenly you have nothing to say" Ben taunted, his voice raised in disdain, as he glared at him with eyes which so clearly asked him, _What kind of a man are you?_

"You shot her...you shot your wife, the night of your very own wedding...and left her to die in the waters. Were you even relieved she survived? Or just disappointed that your two shots hadn't ended her life, like it very nearly could have."

Daniel bristled, his eyes ablaze, and his face red in anger, "As if you have a damn clue what I'd been feeling, what I still feel every time I think about how I harmed her." He snapped, his voice booming in the emotions he just couldn't hold back. "I loved her...and the guilt I hold, the pain clenching onto my heart everytime I think about it; the anger and disdain riddled in my mind…...I'll forever hold all those feelings, all that pain deep within my heart. So you can glare at me with as much resentment as you can muster, you can relentlessly question my morals, my character, my love for her, but nothing you say will ever be worse than what I've already told myself. So if you really want to make your damn self useful, than just arrest me now, and lets get this over and done with".

"I'd love nothing more" Ben replied scathingly. "People like you disgust me".

"What? People who make mistakes?" Daniel jeered.

"No people who harm innocent women", Ben retorted coldly, his angry gaze stayed focused on the guilty Daniel Grayson.

Daniel shook his head frustratedly, clenching his fists in his aggravation, as he opened his mouth, wanting to send a sharp remark back, but finding he didn't know what to say.

* * *

"I'm not innocent Ben", Emily replied for him, her face an unreadable mask as she stepped into the kitchen. She had overheard their angry exchange of words from the stairs, and stepping inside now, she wasn't surprised to feel the tenseness they'd created in the atmosphere surrounding them. It hit her instantly, putting her body on alert as she found herself unintentionally stiffening. This was exactly what she hadn't wanted..not now at least, she still had yet to process everything...to decide.

"I hurt him too" she muttered honestly and morosely, "I married him...no let him marry me under a cruel pretense and the damage that caused was real."

Turning his head towards her, Daniel looked at her in surprise, his gaze softening ever so slightly as he asked himself, _Was this Emily defending him? And if so why?_ It was so hard to know with her, you could never really predict Emily's next move; one moment she was hot, the next moment she was cold, and other moments she was just god damn faking it. He supposed that's what made her such a skilled adversary...though that's never what he had intended for her to be, not to him.

"That doesn't justify what he did" Ben immediately rebutted.

"I know that I'm not so bound by my feelings to ever believe that it does but…"

"But what?" Ben prompted,

Emily shook her head frustratedly, struggling to find the right words as she quickly shifted her glance towards Daniel, as though the sight of him might dislodge the wedge between her muddled thoughts and stiffened words. Their dark brown eyes unintentionally meeting in a powerful gaze, which Daniel found himself holding for longer before she quickly pulled away, the sight of him only confusing her more.

"I guess I just…" she began to mutter, trying to shut out the discord around her as she looked to her heart for the truth. "I guess I just can't shake the feeling that deep down….underneath all the scar tissue, the flaws, the temper…..there's a genuinely good guy who just lost his way and wants to get it back again".

"What are you saying?", Ben asked anxiously, afraid of her next words. It wasn't enough him just knowing the truth, even though she'd admitted it to him herself. In order for him to be able to arrest Daniel Grayson, and in order for the case to go to trial, he needed Emily to make an official statement and testify. Unfortunately, since he was off duty, and therefore wasn't following proper protocol, what she had told him...her confession was not in a legal statement, so he couldn't act upon it.

Emily hesitated, her throat feeling dry as she averted her eyes from the both of them who were tensely awaiting her reply "I'm sorry Ben…" she muttered, "but he won't find his way again in prison".

Shaking his head in disbelief, his eyes glazed with both anger and grave disappoint, Ben bitterly remarked, "He shot you Emily, you very nearly died…"

"I'm well aware of Daniel's transgressions" she responded firmly, not needing to hear the highlighted account of them all. "But I'm dealing with them my own way, and right now what's best for me is distance, sending him to prison won't help me heal, and it won't provide me with the closure I'm seeking."

"What about fairness though?" Ben asked struggling to comprehend such a decision. "Repentance for his sins? You're just going to let him sidestep that as though it's nothing. As a police officer I just can't….". Not being able to find the right words to finish his sentence. Ben shook his head, "You shouldn't be covering for him" he said sternly.

"I…" Emily shook her head, "I'm not covering for him. I told you the truth. I'm just choosing not to pursue this. He's already remorseful, and he's not a danger to me".

"On the contrary…..", Ben responded stiffly, his eyes staring down Daniel with such animosity, before he shifted his gaze back towards Emily, "He's a grave danger to you, because clearly, despite _everything_, and despite what you probably tell _yourself_, you still care about him." And sometimes caring wasn't such a good thing, he had learnt that the hard way, through life, and through other people's lives he'd observed through the cases he'd worked on. Sometimes in caring one became susceptible, vulnerable, and so for Emily's sake alone, he really hoped she buried that feeling deep within till time eventually swept it all away.

"I do not!" Emily replied defensively her voice harsh sounding in her instant need to deny. She just couldn't think that, tell herself that...hear that. She didn't want to, because like Ben, she recognized that in caring was vulnerability, a feeling she'd been trying but unsuccessfully managing to bury. "I'm showing him mercy not love, there's a difference." she retorted her eyes glancing up at him fiercely, daring him to refute her statement.

So that's what it was... mercy, Daniel thought to himself, her instant denial...her words causing him to want smile bittersweetly, of course she'd respond like that, it was just such an _Emily _response to the statement Ben had posed. A statement, which secretly pleased him more than he wanted to admit. He wanted her to care, if only a little bit of herself still did. He wasn't asking for her love, he knew he didn't deserve that much, but for her to care like he still cared for her...maybe that would be just enough, and he was beginning to think that just maybe a little bit of her still did. Of course she wasn't going to admit that though, and he couldn't fault her on that, not after the pain he'd caused her. So if her reasoning of mercy, was the only way for her to come to terms with her decision, he understood. For in _mercy _there was strength, while in _care _there was vulnerability, a feeling which above all else she struggled with.

He was just relieved by her decision to withhold her statement. He could breath again now, no longer feeling the noose gradually tightening sinisterly around his neck.

He was in the clear...free of the punishment he so deserved. He was relieved, yes, relieved like the time he was five and had broken an expensive vase in the manor.

Before he could apologize to his mother and work up the courage to explain, she had blamed the poor maid cleaning up the mess. A maid who couldn't dare put the blame on Mrs. Grayson's treasured son, a maid who had to sit there and accept punishment for something she hadn't done.

Yes he'd been relieved…. relieved and equally sickened by his cowardice…..relieved and guilty, though at that time he hadn't known what that nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach had been called.

Maybe Emily should make a statement against him, she had every right to, and he could handle it, he was older now...he could cope. It was enough just hearing her say she still believed he had some good in him, especially as that was a feeling he had began to increasingly doubt in himself, a feeling he missed almost as much as he missed her.

Ben nodded his head defeatedly, knowing that there was nothing else he could say or do to persuade her. "Fine" he replied sorely, disappointed in her decision, but never the less still wishing her well, as he began to walk out the kitchen knowing it was time to leave, "Just if you ever change your mind don't hesitate to call me."

Nodding her head slowly, Emily began to walk him towards the front door, an uncomfortable silence permitting before she found herself murmuring, "Thank you Ben", just as his hand reached her door knob. She owed him something that she knew, he had worked really hard on her case, only to have her shut it down when the truth finally came out. It almost wasn't fair...and he was a good cop too. "It's just nice to know that there's cops out there like you, cops that really care."

Ben nodded his head slowly, finding his lips had overturned into the smallest of smiles despite his frustrations. Her compliment being the one good thing that came out if it all, he supposed. "Just look after yourself" he sighed, meaning only one thing with those few words, _Stay far far away from Daniel Grayson._

"And Daniel" he found himself resentfully challenging, having one last thing to say to the undeserving Grayson, as he locked eyes on him squarely from across the room. "If you truly did love Emily like you claim, and if you really are as remorseful as you like to sound, then instead of standing there in your cowardice, you would swallow your fear and your pride and turn yourself in for what you did to her. Actions speak louder than words, and if you truly are sorry, then instead of hoping for her forgiveness you would seek your own retribution instead."

With those last words Ben stepped out of the door, leaving Daniel to drown in the tricky thoughts and emotions those words evoked and Emily to note the heavy weight of them.

Watching as she closed the front door behind her, Daniel sighed internally, struggling to find the right words to say to her, though knowing he ultimately needed to say something. What she'd done...the _mercy _she'd shown him, he probably didn't deserve it and yet she'd given it to him anyway. "Emily" he began to say.

But she immediately cut him off, shaking her head, "Not now Daniel, you should leave"

She didn't feel well again, and she didn't need his presence further distracting her.

Daniel nodded his head slowly, not wanting to upset her tonight, "I will….just thanks...thank you Emily" he whispered sincerely, wishing he had better words to say to her; better ways of conveying what he felt.

He didn't though, not that it mattered to Emily, not at the moment at least. For instead of focusing on his words, she was busy trying to quell the incessant throbbing she felt in the back of her head, a horrible feeling matched with the dizziness and unbalance she was beginning to feel, as she placed her hand on the door, leaning against it as so to hold herself up.

It was happening again.

it wasn't the first time either, it had been happening a lot to her these past few days, sporadically in both time and length. She would be doing something and then just gradually she'd begin to feel this sudden bout of weakness wash over, which always seemed to build up in pressure, so much so that she'd find herself dizzy or lethargic, as though her bones had stiffened or her blood thickened slowing down the flow, and interfering with her body.

So she would have to sit down for a few minutes, trying to calm down the symptoms, with some breathing techniques Nolan had googled online in his worry for her. Eventually, after a few of those, and much of her frustratingly trying to will her body back into working condition, the feeling would pass and she'd find that if she took it slow, she was generally alright.

Nolan was of course insistent that she go to the doctors, but she was stubborn and refused. She hated doctors especially after she'd been seeing them so frequently. Her condition wasn't ideal, but she was fine, she probably just needed more sleep, and less stress. It was probably just exhaustion or something, it would pass when she finally left the Hampton's, and when she did leave she'd begin to take better care of herself again...she promised.

"Emily are you alright?" Daniel asked nervously, noticing something was up, as he quickly walked closer towards her in his worry.

"I'm fine" she muttered, her voice quiet but equally sharp. The last thing she wanted was for Daniel to know. "I just have a headache that's all" she quickly added, sensing his uncertainty.

Daniel nodded his head slowly, accepting her answer, "I'll get you a glass of water and some aspirin then" he quickly replied, scurrying into the kitchen, as she slowly walked towards the sofa, feeling unsteady on her own two feet before sitting down on the nearest side of it, her back resting against the comfortable back cushions.

Why did she suddenly look so pale? Daniel couldn't help but wonder, as he walked out of the kitchen and closer towards her, handing her the water and aspirin pill. Was it really just a headache? Would she tell him if it was something more?

"Your jacket's in the kitchen, that's all you came here for right?" Emily muttered tiredly, not so subtly hinting that she wanted him to leave. Daniel hovering worriedly in front of her was only making her feel more uneasy.

Daniel nodded his head and sighed, " Yes...and yet who knew I was this close to getting arrested today" he replied, his tone serious as he gazed at her with such sincere recognition, "Thank you Emily…. you didn't have to do that and yet you still did...that means a lot" he replied earnestly, looking at her such a sadness in his brown eyes " I truly am sorry for all the pain I caused you."

Emily nodded her head slowly, feeling an uncomfortable lump begin to form in the back of her throat at his bittersweet words.

"You should go" she whispered slowly, averting her eyes down, finding the tenderness in his words, and the grief buried in his eyes was too much for her to handle at the moment. She just couldn't….not when she already felt so weak.

"Fine….just, if you need something, or don't feel better, call someone...call Nolan or... someone".

Someone being him of course.

He would come for her.

He always would.

* * *

**A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter =D, I made it double the length again because I know its been a while and because I want to move onto other exciting stuff in this story. Thank you for all the comments from last chapter, and I'd love to see more this chapter xD. Any predictions as to what might be possibly wrong with Emily?**

**Anyway, I hope everyone has an amazing weekend**

**-InfinityxInfinity777**


	17. Chapter 17- I Need You To Understand

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

* * *

**Chapter 17: I Need You To Understand**

It was late when Daniel had gone to see Emily, well past visiting hours, but the pit in his stomach had nullified any sense of his rationality. His anxiety for her well being, and his anger that he hadn't known, fueling his brisk walk through the hospital corridors. He had no patience, not for the nurses telling him he had to wait till the morning, nor to the unit secretary who'd had the audacity to tell him that as her ex-husband he had to follow regular visiting hours, which did not include midnight.

_Ex-husband_

The word had sounded harsh from the nurse's lips, like the dissonance of a faulty note on a grand piano. It had caught him by a cold surprise too, it not even being a week, since the divorce papers had gone through. Emily was thorough though and when she wanted things done, she got them accomplished quickly, so he had no doubt that she had decided to make sure the process was sped along. He couldn't blame her though, it was probably for the best that all loose strings were tied up as quickly as possible anyway.

Even if it hurt.

What he resented however was the way she had handled the divorce…..or more how she hadn't. Instead of looking him in his eyes and handing him the papers herself, Emily had avoided that step altogether, sending her attorney in her place. He had very nearly refused to sign them because of that, wanting Emily to show herself, to say "Let's end this", or even just "Goodbye", just something to mark their resolute ending.

Trying to shake the thought out of his head as he scanned the rooms looking for the number A07 -105, Daniel took a deep breath upon spotting it, his frustration from the memory seeming to easily dissolve back into his concern for her, as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was pitch black except for the small amount of light illuminating dimly from the muted TV screen above her bed. He had almost forgotten it was so late with the white fluorescent lights, which had shone harshly in the hospital hallways. In hindsight he probably should have waited until the morning, the last thing he wanted to do was disturb her sleep, especially as lack thereof was one of the reasons the nurse had mentioned for her stay. Still…he just had to…had to make sure she was truly okay.

Walking to her bed on quiet feet, his limbs moving on impulse straight to her side. Daniel stared down at his former wife achingly, his heart seeming to clench in pain, as his mind so cruelly brought forth memories of her in the hospital after he had shot her.

Emily didn't deserve this, any of this and yet she never could escape it; pain, anger, misfortune it followed her everywhere.

Ironically, the nurse he'd briefly spoken to before entering the room had alluded to the opposite, saying that Emily had been lucky, lucky to have survived. But Daniel knew better, nothing about her life was lucky, never had been, her so called _luck _the nurse talked about, was probably just the universe compensating for all it took from her….all it continues to take. Though as much as he wanted to blame the universe, to transpose his guilt onto a higher power...he knew it was not all to blame, for when the universe had sent Emily stumbling into him that first summer of theirs, it had been her chance...her break, and his gift to protect. Something they had both seemed to have forgotten until the damage had already been done.

Staring at her now, he could see the damage all too real. No longer was she the woman he had originally fallen for, the woman who had laughed and smiled and teased and loved. The women he had dreamt about growing old with in a little cottage on the south side of France.

He _had…. _taken so much from her; her happiness, her health, her smile…..her fertility. So much so that looking at her now, she only seemed like a ghost of herself….a cruel mirage. Though he knew he looked no better. It had been a long time since he'd stared at himself in the mirror, being too afraid of the reflection he might see back.

"I'm so sorry Emily" Daniel found himself uttering, the words slipping off his tongue in a gentle whisper, as he lifted his hand up towards her face in a tender movement, his fingers brushing lightly against her paled skin, before finding their way into her golden curls. "If I could take away all your pain I would…..even if it meant doubling my own."

* * *

Emily's skin tingled at his touch, and a part of herself hated her body for it, hated the way it reacted so easily to him. The other part of her body having given up long ago on things seemingly out of its control.

She almost wished she was asleep, in the state she was in, his tender touch was nothing short of torment and his words, instead of providing comfort only seemed to pile onto to her never ending heartache. It pushing forward a memory of Daniel, very soon after the shooting, uttering words very similar to what he had said just moments ago. Ironically she had been pretending to be asleep then, as she was now, resulting in her hearing all his private thoughts said aloud. He had wished he could take it back, wished he could take her pain, wished he could make it up to her somehow….but what had always struck her most was how Daniel had finished his guilt-ridden whispering's, "_...but I can't" _he had said,_ "I don't even believe that I can ever make this up to you….so I hope you hate me, Emily_".

She had tried, not needing his advice, but taking it anyway. She had tried so goddamn hard to hate him, blowing it out of proportion with the games she had made him play, in her pain-ridden malice. He had asked for it though, hoping it could eventually assuage his guilt, for her though hating was her way in trying to cope, her way of trying to assuage her own pain. It hadn't really worked though, in fact it had backfired ridiculously, weaving them even deeper into their tangled web of anger, guilt and pain. I guess it was true what they say about double negatives….stay away.

Feeling Daniel suddenly lean into her, his face inching gradually closer to her own, Emily felt her breathing getting steadily shorter, the warmth of his breath, the scent of his skin…..all too much, tonight. He wouldn't, would he? Preparing to push him away, not wanting his lips to even graze her own, Emily found herself freezing when instead his lips ended up to her ear.

"You're awake aren't you Emily?" he whispered.

Still frozen, now by choice, as she contemplated ignoring him regardless and further feigning sleep. Emily let out a tired sigh of aspiration, her eyes slowly fluttering opening in defeat, sensing the inevitable now that he had seen through her act.

Daniel had pulled away from her by now, and as she stared at him, trying to define his features in the dark, he smiled painfully at her, so she smiled painfully back, "What gave it away?" she quietly questioned, shifting her body up into a sitting position on the bed.

"Nothing" Daniel replied, shaking his head slowly, not seeming to sound affronted by her antics, "You had me fooled at first, but then I began to think…..I know you better".

Emily frowned slightly at his words, trying to determine whether they were meant as a subtle jab to her character, "I wasn't trying to" she found herself murmuring in need of explaining, "trying to play games you know".

"I know" he responded simply, "I shouldn't have even come so late I'm sorry...I just…." pausing, Daniel shook his head slightly as if dismissing what he was going to say, "For what it's worth though Emily" he whispered on a new train of thought, holding his eyes up sincerely to her own "...I meant what I said"

Emily bit down on her lower lip, not even wanting to address his last thoughts, as she geared away from them completely, asking instead, "How did you even know I was in the hospital? I took you off my emergency contacts, in the divorce process"

"The news" Daniel replied, trying not to sound as bitter as he'd felt hearing something so frightening about her through a source like that. "Consequently, I did not find out until well past visiting hours….I had to bribe the nurses to let me in."

"I'm sorry" Emily whispered, the apologetic tone to her words catching him by surprise.

He only shook his head in response though, "It doesn't even matter Emily, I just…" Daniel paused, his eyes reflecting such earnest, masked in part by the the darkness of the room, still she felt it nevertheless, and heard it evidently in his voice as he asked, "Are you okay? That's all I want to know."

"I'm fine" she quickly muttered in a tired sigh, regurgitating her usual automated response to such questions. She'd never been good at expressing how she felt, so why even try now and least of all for him?

"How are you really feeling?" Daniel pressed, not willing to accept her half-assed answer, as he frowned his eyes trying to observe her despite the natural darkness surrounding them. In opposition, Emily averted her eyes down, not wanting him to read the answer to that in the vulnerability of her brown eyes.

The truth was she felt absolutely terrible...weak, afraid. She had known that ever since the shooting, she hadn't been 100 percent, neither physically nor emotionally, hell she could hardly say she'd even been 50 percent. Her mind and heart had turned fragile and were in constant recovery from all the damage she'd sustained in their torrid relationship. But she had thought that after her body had healed from the gun wounds that she could at least rely on that, that it was more stable than her heart and mind and could hold out until she left the Hamptons for good, and could therefore begin to properly take care of herself again.

She'd been gravely wrong though...and that terrified her.

"Don't worry about me" she muttered dismissively, still not answering the question,"I'll be fine….I always am aren't I?".

Whether rhetoric, or an actual question, Daniel didn't know, still he remained silent, not knowing what to say to make her feel better, if there even was a way...maybe there was, but sadly he'd forgotten how. "The nurses told me what happened" he began to slowly say instead, knowing that if he didn't breach the subject then she never would, "Your body had been over-stressed and shut down at the wrong moment. They said it was exhaustion, fatigue….that you hadn't been getting enough nutrients in your body and enough sleep."

"It's my own fault" Emily muttered unsympathetically, sighing in the frustration she felt, "I should have taken better care of myself".

Daniel shook his head in protest "Don't blame yourself for that Em's, god knows I've neglected myself too...we haven't made this particularly easy for the other have we?" he questioned sadly.

She shook her head slowly in agreeance, their back-and forth pushes and pulls had taken more out of her than she ever imagined.

"But I do think" Daniel began to add in careful retrospection, a thought she was not going to want to hear floating out his mouth, "that you should have asked for help. What frustrates me is that you always say you're fine when you're not, just like that day after Officer Hunter left, I could tell something was wrong but when I asked, you brushed it off as something small, and said you were fine. If you had been feeling sick, fatigued, why didn't you go to the doctors instead of brushing it off and trying to fight it?"

"Forgive me Daniel" she quipped, immediately bristling in defense at his words which she knew despite feeling abrasive, held a value of truth. Still she was not ready to hear her mistake, least of all coming from his lips. "but after what I've been through" she continued her eyes shooting up at him accusingly, "I'm tired of doctors and hospitals, checkups and treatments...drugs. I would rather just…."

"Just what?" Daniel interrupted, trying to hold back the frustration rising in his own voice. His intention was not to upset her nor to madden her, but if that was the only way he could get her to listen, then he was not going to simply hold back, she needed to hear this, "You can't will yourself back to health Emily, you're not some superhuman. Why is it so hard for you to admit that? That you're just as human as the rest of….just as vulnerable."

Emily shook her head in disbelief, irritation rising up inside of her from her feeling that he had overstepped, "Of course you don't understand" she replied in contempt, "You were brought up in privilege, you never had to worry. I wasn't and one of the biggest lessons I learnt in the foster care system, was that people prey on vulnerability….on weakness".

Her words instantly shut Daniel up, she had told him about her past experiences in the foster care system before. Not everything, not even that much, but as much as the pain she felt would allow her. They had been snuggled up in her bed one night, his arm around her body and her head resting on the comfortable spot between his right shoulder and upper chest. When she had began to talk about it, she must have been feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all her memories and emotions. Earlier that same night she had held a huge charity event to help support foster children, and though you'd never have known from her composure there, it had been emotionally challenging for her to carry out. But in the comfort of her home, and in the support of her lover's arm, she must have felt safe enough, to finally let out some of those emotions. So she had talked, well whispered, letting him in on some of her painful memories, while he had pulled her even closer, in shock and pain, and guilt from the spoiled life he had lived, hoping his tender embrace would communicate to her the feelings he felt but did not know how to articulate in words. Thinking about it now he knew those memories had not been easy for her to share, but in the darkness of the night they had been shrouded in, he almost believed she had felt safer exposing herself to him, as he could not really see her, and her him. As if the darkness had comforted her in the fact that it felt like a softer cloak of protection to her iron walls, which at that moment she had let down.

"I'm sorry" Daniel whispered, not needing to see her eyes to know the reflection of pain in them, "I truly am….but you're not there anymore Emily. You are in the hospital though" he reminded her, his voice gaining volume from his whisper, until he sounded steadier, firmer, "and the sad reality is that people die here because of their stubbornness to get check-ups or to ask for help. What if that had been you? Or what if your symptoms had god-forbid, been an underlying factor to an even bigger diagnosis, like cancer for example. The earlier that's caught the higher rate of the patient surviving it, you would have never known though until it was probably too late"

Emily shook her head stubbornly, not wanting to see his point, "I'm fine though Daniel" she muttered dismissively.

The doctors had already made sure to test her for any serious diagnoses that could be linked to what had happened. Thankfully she had not turned up positive to any of them, including the pregnancy test they had cruelly put her through despite her informing them that she was unable to conceive. _Just in case_, they had said, mentioning that some of her symptoms of fatigue and weakness had mirrored pregnancy. They had actually scared her, her face having gone a pale white at the thought of there unknowingly being a baby inside of her….her baby, Daniel's baby. For she had only been with him, her slip up at the charity event weeks ago being the last time she'd been intimate with anyone….and of course in their reckless desire for the other, and their rather unexpected location, they had not used protection at all, subconsciously knowing that sadly they would not need it anyway.

Waiting anxiously as they performed the test, she had been truly terrified at the thought of pregnancy, and then suddenly, so suddenly, she had become strangely hopeful. It certainly was not the right time, Daniel was not the one, not anymore, and it would definitely overcomplicate everything she was trying to escape from, but a baby, it meant hope, redemption, it meant her dream of conceiving, beautiful, loved and happy children into life, was not as far-reached as the stars in the night sky.

Well at least it would have meant hope, if she had been pregnant, which she wasn't; for as quickly as the nurses had sparked that flame of wonder, they then just as quickly and cruelly extinguished it.

"It was only exhaustion" Emily added bitterly.

"Exhaustion which could have killed you," Daniel emphasized, just the thought alone, and saying the words aloud, making him feel instantly sick with fear of the frightening picture those words had created in his mind, "You fainted in the water on your morning swim. If that man had not been there so early like you or seen what happened…..or if he had been unable to pull you out when you fell unconscious, you would have drowned."

"I know that" Emily snapped immediately in defense, she did not need reminding, she was the one who had woken up in the hospital after all, hooked to the heart monitor with the respirator plastered on her face. Alone, cold, disoriented, and exhausted. "I'm alive, I'm breathing though aren't I?"

Daniel shook his head in disbelief at her stubbornness to understand his point of view, it creating a rift inside of him between wanting to grab her angrily by the shoulders and shaking her until she understood….or by wanting to keep that frustrated sense of anger at bay, sick and tired of the shouting and fighting. Of course he was relieved that she was alive and breathing, he was relieved more than he could put into words, her life was clearly the most important thing here, but she didn't seem to understand the way she jeopardized it, and that...that angered him.

"So what the hell do you want me to say Daniel?" Emily asked, almost tauntingly, monopolizing on his silence, "Even the ocean, can't seem to hold onto me" she gravely joked, referencing how this was the second time in the same year that she'd nearly found her body at the bottom of the ocean. Daniel did not share her same sense of satire humour though, not liking the little laugh that escaped her lips, it though sounding bitter and empty, like she didn't truly find it funny, making him sick.

"You could have died Emily" he shouted, old habits never dying hard as all her words, eventually managed to stretch him to his limits, his voice raised harshly, trembling in the fear those words provoked, causing even her to flinch. "and it scares me that that doesn't seem to even scare you. Scares me that you can't ask for help".

Emily froze at his words, at the emotion in them, and though her instinctive action was to angrily shout back at him, she bit her tongue, knowing that he was only shouting in fear, fear which held a lot of truth. Deep down she knew it, hell even on the surface it wasn't hard to recognize, his words, echoing what Nolan had told her when he'd come to visit her much earlier on in the day. Still somehow it was easier to stomach coming from him, than from Daniel.

"Do you know what scares me?" Emily replied, trying to keep her voice free of the tremble he'd caused her to feel. Suddenly grateful for the darkness, knowing he could not clearly see the pained expression across her face, nor her defeated eyes which so clearly acknowledged his words. Daniel shook his head, having used up his energy to speak in his previous shouted words, so she just continued.

"It scares me that you still care"

Her voice was hardly above a whisper as though it hurt her to admit her thoughts aloud, but he could always pick up her voice out of all the other sounds, and so to him he heard her clearly, her thoughts emulating his own.

It scared him too.

Even after all they'd been through….all she'd done to him, if it ever came down to it, and she was in danger, it would not even take a split second for him to pull her out the way or throw himself in front of her. It wouldn't even make it down to a decision in his mind, instinctively, he would do all he could to protect her, even if it meant sacrificing his own self. That probably wasn't a particularly good thing, especially for a women like her who was prone to misfortune, but it was the truth.

The truth also being that he could not imagine not caring, it didn't matter what they went through or how many years passed, he would just never be able to put Emily that far behind him, she was just too….too enchanting for his own good

"Can I ask you something Daniel?"

Her voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he found his head nodding slowing on impulse, half thankful that she hadn't waited for him to respond to her previous words, and half nervously bracing himself for what she was about to say next.

But no further words came.

"What is it?" Daniel gently pressed, he didn't know what she was going to say but it felt important, it felt like progress. Thinking about the whole night had been a step in the right direction. They'd been able to talk without being at each other's throat, trying to evade each other's words, or by letting their emotions too strongly override their words. Lastly, and most importantly they'd been able to talk honestly and without neither of them having to run away from the conversation, though granted that was kind of hard to do in a small hospital room.

Emily shook her head slowly, "Can we talk some place else? I can't be in here any longer". It was suffocating her, the surroundings, the environment...him, she just needed a breath of fresh air.

Daniel hesitated, hating how she baited him, even if she was not specifically trying too. The doctors had wanted her to stay overnight, knowing she needed a good nights sleep, and believing that she might be able to rest better without the distractions of home. But she hadn't been sleeping in the first place, and talking felt like good development between the two of them, and he wanted to know what she was going to say.

It felt important.

* * *

Daniel's eyes were on the road, waiting for the red light to flash green, when Emily asked her question.

He had relented to her request, as she had suspected he probably would, waiting outside her hospital room as she had changed into the clothes Nolan had brought her when he had visited, grabbing her Mulberry handbag from where he had left it on the bedside table, before they had snuck out of the hospital room, and down the lighted corridors until they exited out the building and found his car. Thinking about it, that little walk between the hospital room and his car, had been the first time that night, he'd been able to see Emily in the light. She had looked tired, sad, like a ghost of her former self. But even still he could not help but notice her undeniable beauty, only wishing it could once again radiate as brightly as it had when she had been both truly happy and healthy.

In the car Emily had not asked her question right away, and he hadn't pressed her to, waiting silently as she fiddled with the A/C, adjusting the temperature, or looked out the window like the scenery was something she'd never seen before.

He had waited, waited, and eventually Emily had spoken, her voice full of painful retrospection in the emptiness she felt, as she asked "Where do you think we went wrong?"

* * *

**I know this is unbelievably late, I've been ridiculously busy, and this chapter was such a hard one to write, the amount of different copies I have of this is just *shakes head. Anyway, still not sure how I feel about this one, but I hope you guys all enjoy it, and I hope I haven't lost all the readers of this story in how long its taken me to update. ****With Xmas break coming up, all I'm planning to do is write until my Demily hearts content, so the next update should not be too too long.**


	18. Chapter 18- Trust

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It**

* * *

**A/N**

**Hello all :), thanks for all the comments encouraging me to keep writing more, I really apologize for the ridiculously long wait, I just honestly did not know how to write this chapter. I must have written over 10 different versions of this chapter, and none of them felt right, so then I just decided to leave it alone for a while, and come back... anyway after much trouble, I finally have something that I think I can be happy with, so I really hope you guy's enjoy it too.**

**Just a quick refreshor, last chapter ended with Daniel and Emily leaving the hospital, and getting into his car ready to talk...**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Trust**

Daniel's eyes were on the road, waiting for the red light to flash green, when Emily asked her question.

"_**Where do you think we went wrong?"**_

It was not an easy question but Emily asked it anyway, needing to get that one central thought plaguing her mind out into the open. Heavens knew she'd worn herself sick, and she was tired of living so heavily.

It was thoughts like these that Emily had mulled over in the hospital, to the point that she'd come to realize that it was no longer their fighting that was harming her anymore. Though it had left its damage, their battles had ended sometime ago paving way for their much needed divorce. Nor was it Emily's bitter sense of anger, which although remained in her inability to fully forgive, had simmered down to a more manageable state.

It was their separation that was the cause of such self-destruction, and in it her denial to recognize the vulnerable feelings within her. Through ignoring those emotions, Emily had only prolonged her pain, and not allowed herself the chance to even begin trying to heal. This conversation now was Emily trying to fix that.

* * *

"Trust" Daniel finally responded quietly, the tensed lines of his face showing deep retrospection in the seriousness of her question. "_It's hard for me to trust, it's even harder for me to let people in_…... do you remember when you told me that?"

"Of course" Emily replied, wincing as he repeated her past words out loud, them feeling distant, hopeless now, "we were fighting… and I wanted you to understand… if just a little bit of who I really was, or more why I was….. You forgave me for the night but the peace didn't last long".

"Because I'd begun to realize just how much you hid from me", Daniel answered honestly, his voice unaccusing, but his heart feeling heavy, "It's not that I didn't want you anymore Emily… I did, more than anything but I wanted the real you and the harder I looked at you the more I began to wonder if I'd lost that Emily, if I'd ever really had you at all."

"So you grew to resent me?" Emily questioned, almost in fear of his answer.

"I never resented you Emily", Daniel denied, shifting his eyes to gaze at her momentarily before focusing back on the road, "but I was confused and hurt that you couldn't trust me enough to open up…. I didn't know what to do so I pushed you away". Unintentionally, he had let her go first.

"I wanted to open up" Emily quietly admitted, "It's just… I had spent so many years protecting myself from people, relationships, anything that could cause me pain….that I forgot how to."

Deep down Emily had always suspected this would happen, that her past pain would impede her future and jeopardize any chance she had of a healthy relationship. It was something she'd chosen to accept, but Daniel had been so sweet, so disarming, that she'd fallen for him despite that, willing against her rationality to take the risk.

It wasn't as though she had ever faked her love for him, that had been real, but she had in a way faked some of whom she had been with him. For in not having ever learnt how to fully open herself up to Daniel, when he had gotten too close to her walls, instead of letting him break them, she pretended Daniel already had and faked trying to be what he wanted. It was no wonder the distance had formed, especially as Daniel began to detect her facade.

"I'm sorry" Emily whispered sincerely, not usually one to apologize, let alone first… but she was tired of such facades, and he'd already seen her at her weakest anyway, so what did it matter if she said it first, if she let him hear what he only deserved. "I know it's long overdue….."

"That doesn't matter" Daniel whispered, turning his tired eyes to hers with a look of pained relief. Her apology having graced his troubled mind with the tiny bit of solace he was in need of, despite his pain only serving to remind him of just how late their apologies were now…. and how much it had cost them.

"It's my fault too" Daniel whispered ashamedly, wondering why she hadn't said it, justified her reason for not opening up to him, "I was never able to prove to you that I was worthy of your trust by showing that I was better than what my family name suggested. I did try…. I tried so hard Em's, but in the end I only proved to be just as cruel as them."

Thankful he had to keep his eyes on the road so that he couldn't see the disappointment in her eyes, Daniel instinctively gripped the steering wheel tighter in his inner torment, as with an empty laugh he added, "In hindsight you probably had good reason not to fully open yourself up to me….. though the selfish part of me still wishes you could have trusted me".

"It's not that I didn't want to" Emily murmured, her voice sounding unsteady from the painful lump in her throat.

"Then why didn't you?" Daniel countered, turning his head briefly to look at her, his brown eyes catching her own until she averted them down and he was forced to focus back on the road.

…

…

"I was scared"

"Scared?" Daniel repeated, his face scrunching up in confusion as a wave of deja vu washed over him.

"_I'm just scared", _she had told him once before in one of their very first arguments. Her voice had been soft as she'd said the words and her eyes had flashed with painful vulnerability, but at the time he'd been too frustrated to take true notice of her words.

"_Scared...scared of what?" _He had questioned, a hint of disbelief in his voice.

It was funny how even then he hadn't believed her. Emily had always seemed like the most fearless person to him, someone invulnerable, someone to strive towards, though of course now he'd begun to realize just how blinded he had been. Still Daniel had painted her as that from the moment he'd first laid eyes on her, he'd painted Emily as this perfect, flawless women, and so maybe inadvertently he'd pushed her to be that, placing his ideals upon her and making her believe he needed her to be that for him to love her. Maybe he was the reason, she'd hidden her fears from him.

"I was scared to let you in on how damaged I really was", Emily explained, forcing herself to get the truth out though exposing such wounds only stung.

"You're not damaged, Emily", Daniel replied firmly, his thoughts naturally aimed to comfort her, "you have your burdens, but we all do, we're all human" .

"You're still blinded Daniel", Emily rebutted in a tired sigh.

Daniel shook his head in silent protest, not accepting that, "Maybe then…. but not anymore. I see you Emily, the real you".

Turning her head to look at him, observing the adamancy in his eyes as he gently swerved the car round the corner. Emily only shook her head dismissively, staring out towards the outline of the dark waves rippling against the beach shore. "I never you let you in Daniel"

"Yes you did" Daniel replied intently, " The one good thing that came out of our fighting was that by the end of it you stopped holding back your emotions, and I finally saw it all, all the parts you had tried to hide; your pain and vulnerability, as well as your rage, and ferociousness."

Though unintentional, through the destruction of their relationship, Daniel had finally gotten the full picture of the woman he fell in love. It truly making him wish, he could have had that from the start. As it was now, despite the maliciousness he'd seen in her while fighting, internally he suspected he'd already begun to accept Emily for all her _worst _parts. In a strange way, it provided him with a better sense of insight on her, strengthening all the parts of Emily he had fallen in love with.

"I had a lot of it at the time" Emily murmured, her lips curling up into a sad little smile, "it's funny how now all that anger has just turned into….".

" a numb ache" Daniel filled in for her, smiling sadly back at her, as he watched her silently nod her head, their thoughts for once congruent.

* * *

Daniel's words had seemed to be the last in the car, silence filling the space between them, though for once not in a suffocating manner. Metaphorically, their conversation had felt like the aching sting of ripping a band-aid from one's wound, the end result leaving one sore, tender, exposed, and still uncomfortably blemished, but at least open to begin truly healing. That's what he hoped Emily had gotten out of it, not the sting though that was probably inevitable, but the last part… the part with a little hope.

With his hands on the car wheel as her beach house came into view, Daniel felt a sudden aching feeling pressing against his chest, urging him to keep driving, past the Hampton's, past New York even, for if he drove and never stopped, he wouldn't ever have to say goodbye. Or at least in his mind that's how the fantasy went, but reality told him running away with her wouldn't erase the damage they'd caused. It didn't matter how far they went their pain couldn't just simply be outrun.

"What now Emily?" Daniel tentatively asked, walking her slowly up to her front door, knowing deep down what had to happen, but hoping she'd say something... anything else.

She didn't.

Forcing herself to look into his eyes wanting Daniel to know she held no hesitation, and subsequently wanting to prove to herself that she didn't. Emily pursed her lips tightly before replying, "We move on", the words sounding much firmer in her head, then when said aloud. "There's nothing left for us".

No more arguments to fight, games to play, words to say, and certainly not a relationship of any kind.

Daniel nodded his head curtly, he knew Emily was right, but he also knew there was one thing left… the remaining feelings he felt for her but couldn't bury.

"So when are you leaving?"

"In three days" Emily replied simply, too simply for his liking, as though she was just going on a short trip, and not packing away the life she had created for herself in the Hampton's.

Shaking his head at her words, having to restrain every ounce of his body from reaching for her one last time, Daniel bit his lips before he said something silly… something like, _stay a while longer_. Three days was just too soon though, and he knew they wouldn't see each other in between. They had no more reasons to and she'd see right through any excuses he tried to give her.

"Just take good care of yourself Em's" he whispered, his stomach in notches, as he stepped closer to her despite his best efforts to resist, "hopefully no more hospital visits."

Emily nodded her head, averting her eyes from the worry she saw in his own. Even at goodbye, he cared too much, it really made her feel unsteady, "You don't have to worry about me Daniel…. just look after yourself", she whispered firmly back, turning towards her door, not wanting a drawn out goodbye.

She didn't know what to say and she had never been good at goodbyes anyway, often times not opting to say them at all and leaving without giving people the chance. That's what she had planned to do with Daniel, knowing he would have hated her for it, but rationalizing that they had said all they'd needed to over the past few weeks.

How was one supposed to say goodbye to the person they were running away from anyway? Wasn't the whole point of running away the fact that you didn't have to look back at what you were leaving behind.

"Emily…I". Not knowing what he wanted to say, but knowing that he wanted her to turn around and face him. Daniel gently reached for her arm, turning her towards him, his eyes as if by compulsion glued to her own, before they fell down longingly to her lips, and he found himself leaning in to taste them.

Emily made no movement to stop him, frozen in place like an injured wild animal accepting its fate. The only movement was from her eyelashes which fluttered shut in a motion close to wincing as she felt his gentle lips pressing against her own, probing her mouth to let him in.

Whether it was for his need or her own, she did, feeling his pain, yearning and regret as he deepened the kiss, lifting his hand towards her cheek in a tender movement, his other entangling in her golden locks. Emily's heart equally ached and exploded at the sensation, but she didn't pull away, not being able to deny the good feeling of his lips against her own, or the feel of his body pressed so close to hers that she couldn't even distinguish her heartbeat from his own.

"Em's?"

Feeling Daniel's whisper on her skin, as they pulled away for a breath, Emily slowly opened her eyes, the internal struggle she felt at their proximity bringing her back to reality, and the depth of his dark brown eyes staring into hers so tenderly causing her to instinctively push away, retracting herself from him hastily in the guilt she felt from giving in to such selfish desires.

Daniel felt it too, the burn of her lips on his soul, the guilt of reaching for something he didn't deserve and yet still enjoying it. It was like a curse mark had been branded on them, forcing them to feel what they couldn't hide. He was tired of it... of feeling so hopeless…. so wrong for loving who he hurt but even still he couldn't let her go.

"Emily"

She was ignoring him now, her back to him as she dug into her pockets in search of her key… the tool necessary for her escape. At least in her mind she pretended it was, liking to believe that her house served as a safety zone, impenetrable to not only him, but also her feelings.

" Can I just say one more thing"

Daniel's voice was sincere, but Emily shook her head anyway, slipping the key into the lock, and turning the handle, her only wish to shut him out being denied, as she felt her body tense up and go cold at his next words.

"I'm turning myself in".

* * *

"I don't understand" Emily spoke in frustration, her eyes fixed on Daniel's resolute ones, searching for an explanation, "If I wanted you in prison I would have allowed Officer Hunter to arrest you".

"I know, and I'm thankful you didn't" Daniel replied, his eyes flickering towards her with a look of true gratitude as he took a tentative seat beside her on the living room couch, "but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out my future here now that you're leaving, and the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that there was no future I wanted because there was no future I believed I deserved after what I did to you."

"I need to change, Emily…. truly change, I need to stop being a coward and take responsibility for what I did. I owe that to you, even if you don't ever come back to see it, and I owe it to myself. I'm so tired of running away, of avoiding my problems, of hating myself for what I did to you….. I know no amount of wishing can take my actions back, but if I'm ever going to truly heal and become a person worthy of true forgiveness, then I need a clean slate."

Emily closed her eyes at his words, wondering what Daniel wanted her to say, to think. She heard him she did, and she understand his desire for a clean slate, more than anyone else, but she struggled with understanding how prison could do that. Punishing himself in such a harsh and permanent way…. seemed much too vicious a plan, to repair himself to the man he wanted to be.

"There are other ways to change Daniel" Emily replied tightly, her thoughts going back to the last time he had been in prison. She remembered it all too well.

It was her who had seen through the prison glass what it had done to Daniel. The bags underneath his eyes, the paleness of his face, the posture of his body; guarded and on alert so that he couldn't be attacked and taken by surprise. Daniel still had been though, and she had been there when the officers had brought him in through the door with his ankle monitor restricting his freedom. His face bruised and cut, and his body aching in the assault his inmates had inflicted upon him.

She remembered lying beside him that night, too scared to move in case it would cause his body pain, despite his gentle assurance that it never could. He said that it helped, that her warmth healed him, so very softly she had rested her head against his chest, the beating of his heart comforting her, and the gentle motion of his fingers stroking her hair comforting him as she listened to him talk about the horrors in there.

"Prison's punishment is to strip people from their freedom so they can drown in their guilt, and whatever other feelings they have. You've already drowned Daniel, prison's just going to keep you down there, don't you want to get out?" she asked, trying to rationalize her thoughts into words he could accept.

"I shot you Emily" Daniel rebutted, watching her wince as he stressed the words, "I shot my wife…. and I can't run away from that, I can't fix that…. I can't heal you. The only thing I can do is try and change, and I need to start with my cowardice. I deserve this punishment".

"You've already been punished though" Emily countered, her voice raised, as she tried to force her point despite inwardly knowing from the solid look in his eyes, that for once she wouldn't be able to influence his decision, "I made sure you were… but even in my angriest moment, I never wanted this punishment for you. You're already deeply sorry so turning yourself in won't fix anything, Daniel".

"It will for me" Daniel replied unwaveringly, finding himself feeling strangely incensed by her resistance to accept his decision, despite knowing he should feel comfort at the thought that Emily didn't want something so cruel for him. "I would have thought you of all people would understand that Emily, " he added tensely, watching her flinch at the tone of his voice but still continuing, "or now that you're running away from the Hampton's do you not care anymore, about the type of man you've always wanted me to become".

"That's not fair" Emily snapped back, narrowing her eyes at him in warning, as she watched Daniel inhale deeply, clearly conceding. "I'm sorry" he murmured apologetically, feeling the crack in his solid composure, "I thought I could fake strength long enough to tell you what I was doing but the truth is..."

"You're scared" Emily finished for him.

"Scared" Daniel repeated, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he shook his head, "I'm fucking terrified Em's".

Daniel had already gone through prison once before and had thought that was truly hell, but it was nothing compared to what he would be enduring this time. And this time, he'd be alone, Emily wouldn't be waiting on the other side, or comforting him through the prison plexiglass windows as she took his call. He wouldn't have her to draw strength through anymore, he'd have to rely on his own.

"But that's how I know I'm doing the right thing" Daniel added introspectively, his hand very tentatively moving towards her own, it suddenly dawning on him, why he had snapped at her. It was because subconsciously he'd been waiting for her reassurance, hoping her words could take away a sum of his fear.

"The truth is Daniel", Emily began to mutter, her gaze reflecting something he hadn't seen in a long time, _respect, _as her hand slowly found its way on top of his in a soft gesture. "I'm really proud of you" .

"That means a lot Em's" Daniel murmured back, her earnest words enveloping Daniel's mind in a light layer of reprieve from his guilty feelings, and the gentle sensation of her hand upon his, sweetly torturing his mind with the palpable desire he felt between them, propelling him into lifting his hand towards Emily's face.

Freezing at his touch, as Daniel lightly began caressing her cheek, his body seeming to naturally lean further into her, Emily closed her eyes, hating how her body so positively reacted to his gentle touch. The affectionate motion of his pleasantly cool hand against her flushed cheek, making her weak from the unavoidable feelings that still lingered within her.

"I'm going to miss you Emily" Daniel whispered under his breath, the inescapable thought escaping his lips and waking Emily back up to reality. Staring at him now, wide eyed, feeling overwhelmed by the emotion in Daniel's eyes, Emily's body moved efficiently as she wrapped her fingers around the wrist of his hand that held her face, firmly pulling it away from her cheek before letting it go.

"Don't" Daniel whispered, his hands quickly ensnaring her own wrists, as he felt her shifting to get up from the couch, ravenous desire, overruling his rational, as he rapidly pressed his lips against her mouth, his tongue moving passionately against her own wanting to force back down the angry protest he felt bubbling inside of her. Relishing in the exhilarating thrill she sent down his spine, a thrill she herself couldn't evade, Daniel released Emily's wrists from his hands so he could pull her even closer, the anger he sensed from her, only enticing Daniel to kiss her back harder reveling in the hot taste of her mouth, his kisses serving to weaken any resolve she had of pulling away.

One last time Emily rationalized, feeling her breath hitch, as she felt her back being lowered against the couch cushion, his body pressed so maddeningly on top of hers… and yet in this moment she wanted him too, almost sure that the electrifying desire held in Daniel's eyes, was but a scary reflection of her own. Wrapping her arms around his neck as he lowered his head to meet hers, Emily moaned softly in his ear, as Daniel began to leave a light trail of kisses up the nape of her neck, his hands working rapidly to free them both of the clothes that clung to their flushed skin.

As his eyes took in every inch of Emily's exquisite body, covered only by her black lace lingerie not yet discarded, Daniel found himself slowly faltering as his gaze landed on the bullet scars marked across her lower abdomen, it serving to remind him of all the reasons why he didn't deserve her.

Burying his face into her neck ashamedly, Daniel found even with the bitter reminder, selfishly he still didn't want to pull away from her so soon.

Sensing it, the suffocating nature of his guilt, Emily breathed in quietly, her breaths shallow as she tried to settle her racing heart, that being easier said than done with Daniel's firm body still against her slender figure. Not knowing what to say… what she could say, Emily just laid still for a while, allowing her heartbeat to settle down to the gentle pace of his own as she ran her fingers tentatively through his thick brown hair, needing something to do with her hands.

"You're going to have to forgive yourself eventually, Daniel", she quietly murmured, knowing they were words Daniel needed to hear, "We both promised to take care of ourselves, and you can't do that if you can't forgive yourself, and until you truly have…... I don't see how you can hope for me to completely forgive you either".

"I know" Daniel whispered after a few silent minutes, his head lifting so his deep brown eyes held Emily's, "that's why I'm turning myself in" he slowly concluded before lifting himself very lightly off of her, and sitting up on the couch.

"I should go" he murmured, gently brushing his fingertips against her arm as she too sat up, her almost unclad appearance and disheveled blonde hair, causing him to shift his gaze. It was alarming the way she could so maddeningly excite every one of his senses, though he knew he couldn't act on it again… not now, not after his guilt had blown out their passionate moment.

"You should" Emily whispered back, confirming his thoughts aloud, as she stood up with him, her body feeling strangely unsteady, as she watched him search the floor for what clothes of his they'd ripped off, frustratingly still craving his very touch. "But..."

She hated it, the way her mind always ceased to fail her when she needed it most... self control out the window, rationale gradually fading and morals all over the place. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, goodbye was meant to be simple... not sensual, and Daniel was supposed to be her past, not her present moment. It was wrong, they were both going to their extremes to try move on for a reason; her by running away, and him by turning himself in, and that reason was to get through the realization that their powerful love had grown too convoluted to ever truly repair in the irreversible pain they had caused the other.

Knowing that, as Emily's dark brown eyes locked so palpably with Daniel's, a part of herself wondered whether that was why she so maddeningly felt the desire to go back there. To the one place between them, where for a moment in time, all their complicated thoughts and painful emotions were completely tuned out in the fervent bliss they created for the other.

"But what?" Daniel questioned cravingly, his lustful eyes searching hers so clearly for permission, not wanting to force it this time.

...

...

"But I won't hate you if you stay"

* * *

Breathing shallowly, watching Emily's chest rise and fall heavily as the words left her lips, Daniel could feel his heartbeat pounding the same way as he stepped closer towards her, feeling the heat off her skin before he even touched her. All inhibitions to leave her alone shattered by her words permitting his company as he crashed his lips ravenously against her own.

Lowering a now fully unclothed Emily against the queen sized bed, unable to even recall their passionate ascent up the stairs, as he stared down at her in adoration, it was at that moment that it suddenly hit him, the realization that this would truly be there last.

Refusing to rush it in a fiery haze, when Daniel lowered his head back down to meet Emily's, her arms wrapping reflexively around his upper back, this time he brushed his lips against hers ever so softly, his hands tenderly exploring all the familiar parts of her body, desperately wanting to remember every satisfied tremor or pleasured sound she made.

Feeling their bodies intuitively begin to respond slower and gentler to each other….. still fervently passionate, but not as reckless as before, Emily found she was of the same sentiment. This was their last time and they were going to make sure to take their time, to savor every moment; every sweet taste of the other's lips and beautiful sensation of their body against the other's flushed skin.

* * *

**A/N thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it :), I'll try much harder to update more regulary. Also if you're interested please check out my other story, Before Revenge.**


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